Plan for Quiet

I am an introvert.  I am not shy.  I am not even very quiet.  But I recharge and get my energy from alone time.  This is when I feel like I can escape the pressures of daily life and listen to my favorite thing...  quiet.

I have come to learn that I need time to shut out the world, shut off the noise, and just be.  I need time to pray, to read, to study, to fill up on all the lovely little introvert fills.  Then I have the energy to tackle homeschooling and laundry and dinner and college classes.

This has to be intentional, as I have discovered.  In the rush of life, even when I don’t leave my house because we are homeschooling, I have to take the time to be alone.  I have to drink my coffee and spend a few minutes with God.  I HAVE TO WRITE.  This is central to me keeping sane.  When I don’t write, whether in a journal or a blog, I feel myself reaching a boiling point where I can’t get out what I feel in any logical form.  In fact, I then tend to overreact to anything and everything because I have had no outlet for all that is inside of me. 

I have learned that stress physically makes me ill, and psychologically is detrimental to the point where people don’t like me when I’m stressed.  I become a not nice wife and mommy when I’m stressed and overwhelmed and exhausted.  I need my time to decompress and be alone.  Sometimes it’s five minutes. Sometimes it’s a day.  It’s a fact of life that I can do people for awhile, but then I need to escape.  

Homeschooling is a joy.  I love it.  But I also know that my extroverted youngest daughter can weigh on me.  Her stuff alone can overwhelm me.  We have areas where we click, such as our love of reading, but she is high energy  and ADHD, and I often feel overwhelmed trying to keep up with her.  So, taking breaks is not a bad thing.  If I want to be a good mommy to her. I have to have times where she goes to play and I can not be consumed with her messy room or constant noise. 

My older daughter that is still home is an introvert also.  She is happy to finish her school, check off her to-do list, and plug in her headphones.  She may not be the book-lover that I am, but she has her “things” where she cocoons herself in her own world.  This, I understand.  Most of the time I let her have her space.  

The magic of homeschooling is that my children can be who they are.  My personality is unique. I live in my head, where I can play stories in my head like a movie.  I crave alone time so that I can explore the world through books and various media. Homeschooling led me to learning about how children lean and how the brain works, which led me to learning about personality, which led to me learning about my children and myself. This, in turn, has benefitted my homeschool and our home.

And so, on this dark December evening, waiting for children to come home from their day away, candles lit on the entertainment center and dinner in the crock pot, I absorb as much quiet as I can.  I let it surround me and sink into my soul.  The time is short and soon the quiet will be disrupted once again.  I will be able to enjoy the noise a bit and cherish the moments with my children because I was able to have some quiet. Like a gift, the quiet and time alone helps me to find calm and feel rest and peace after a season of busy and stress. 

If there is one resolution I would make for the New Year, it would be to plan for more quiet. 

Simplifying Birthdays

We celebrated my daughter's birthday this last week.  She is now officially seventeen.  How is this possible?  The years really do go by fast.

We had a simple party at home, with pizza and a cookie cake.  My daughter didn't want a huge party, and I can't blame her.  I have no desire to throw a big party and make everything expensive and complicated on my Spring Break.

In my desire to simplify, this is one area where I struggle: Family Parties.  I tend to want to make a big deal out of family celebrations.  I think we need to take advantage of family celebrations, and enjoy our time together. Memories are made in these times.

I used to love the planning and setting up. I would throw a big party for each child each year, complete with pinatas and balloons and streamers.  The pictures I have from those days are cherished.  Loved ones that are no longer with us are captured in smiling photographs.  My children, eyes bright as they opened gifts, chocolate on their clothes from cake and ice cream, are portrayed in various ages and stages of growth.

The joy began to take a toll on me through the years.  Setting up for a party became more of a duty and drudgery.  I felt like it was all on me to set up, get organized, and then clean up when the day was done.  I haven't thrown a big, blow-out party in a couple of years now.

Simplifying means something different to a lot of people.  I loved making the memories.  I seem to have a special skill of complicating life.  And, since my desire is to limit stress, those parties can't happen for five children every single year. 

I loved the idea of  my children having a special day.  It was a way to show them how much I loved them.  Now, I look for other ways.  I like doing things with them, having experiences.  And while a party is definitely an experience, it was losing all meaning with having five of them a year.  Now, if we have a big bash every few years, it will be special.

For instance, we are having a wedding this summer.  This means parties: bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, reception.  And, all of these parties require work.  Luckily, it isn't all landing on me to figure out and prepare.  I am sure there will be a ton of happy memories made.

I am all about making memories.  Recent studies show that buying life experiences make us happier than buying possessions.  So now, when I think of planning a party, I think instantly about what I can do with my child, instead of what I can do for my child.  I would rather find an experience to have with my children than to buy more and more stuff.

So, why throw a party at all?  I threw a party for my family.  My mom looks forward to family gatherings, and really wants to have them.  My daughter didn't care, really.  However, purchasing thirty dollars in pizzas and a giant cookie allowed my mom, sister, and daughters to get together for a couple hours.  There wasn't hours of decorating to do.  I didn't feel the need to buy a sheet cake so fifty people could arrive.  I didn't have to rent a hall.  My small apartment hosted the fourteen people, and the mess was minimal.  My mom got to celebrate her granddaughter's birthday, and I didn't feel like I had to skip meals for a week to afford the party.

There was no Pinterest ideas copied.  There was just food and family and laughter.  That is my idea of a good day.

Simplifying Television Viewing

Last week, after feeling that my brain was fried from hours of college coursework, I went to the couch in the early evening and binge-watched the last season of Hawaii Five-O on Netflix.  No offense to Steve, Danno, and the rest of the crew, but this was my second trip through their Hawaiian adventures against crime and injustice.  I love watching Hawaii, and long to visit, (especially when it is snowing outside) but I know I am mostly just vegging.

My youngest makes herself cozy in front of the tv on the first day of Spring Break

 

It took me nearly a month to read a library book.  The library book wasn't exactly a heavy tomb, either.  It was a Chicken Soup for the Soul selection.  Why did it take a month? Well, I am spending a lot of time working on college classes.  Mostly, however, I have traded my relaxation time of reading a good book with watching brain-numbing television.

I have always struggled with television consumption.  And, while I know the dangers that watching too much television can hold, it seems so normal.  I mean, I am not alone in how much television I consume.  The average American watched five hours of television a day.  In a year, that is over 76, twenty-four hour days.  That means that twenty percent of our lives are spent on watching television. Is it any wonder that culture is having more of an impact on Christians than Christians impacting culture?

Just a couple days ago I posted about the rise in stress I have felt recently, and my quest to find simplicity when overwhelmed.   Would I not be simplifying if I stopped with the pointless watching of television and instead found other ways to unwind?  After all, am I spending time with my family when I am watching hours of television, even if they are watching with me?  Is there a happy medium between mass consumption of television and cutting it out altogether?

I have to ask myself what my goals are in life?  Honestly, there aren't many people like me represented on television.  It isn't hard to see why so many people look upon people like me, ones that go against culture in many ways, and find all the reasons why we are wrong.   Influenced by five hours or more a day of pop culture and propoganda, is it any wonder that the church is following culture?

What is the answer?  I can only discuss my own thoughts on the matter.

Watching television leaves me feeling as if I accomplished something.  In reality, I have done nothing more than sit on my butt and drink tea, often simultaneously playing Candy Crush, while the characters on the television live pretend lives.  Yet, a part of me will feel that I was with them as they accomplished their goals.  Did I solve the crime with Steve and Danno?  No.  I just sat there.  And yet, I sort of feel that I did something other than play endless rounds of Candy Crush (regular, soda, and jelly) while episode after episode played.  Bad guys were caught or killed.  Crimes were solved using means I don't understand, and are definitely unrealistic.  In the end, good triumphs over evil, and I am left feeling that I had some part in that.

But did I?

Did I actually reach out to someone in need at that time?  Did I spend that time praying for anyone?  Did I even speak to the sixteen year old on the couch next to me, as she was staring into her own screen, headphones on, watching her own shows?  Did I actually yell at the nine year old for talking too much and interrupting my vegging time?

I tell others that Jesus is my number one priority.  But did I spend more time with Him or the fictional Steve McGarrett and the rest of the cast? (I'm picking on Hawaii Five-O, but it could just as easily be the cast of NCIS or a number of other shows.  I tend to enjoy cop shows.)  This is a serious question because I have felt that, during my college classes, I have had limited time to spend in my Bible and prayer.  I have been struggling to even get Bible lessons done with my children for homeschooling.  And yet, I watched four episodes of this show or that show every other evening.  AND... that is still a lot less than the national average!

I sort of feel like I am wasting this one life.  I mean, I often wonder if, when I face Jesus, if I will have to account for things that most don't see as bad or wrong.  For instance, is it wrong to want to relax after a hard day of studying?  Of course not, but am I really living my life or just watching others live lives, often pretend ones.

And all of this television viewing isn't accounting for the time spent mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.  I don't post endless pictures of me sitting on my couch, watching episode after episode of television.  If we all posted a picture an hour of all the television we watch, we would see how little we actually are living.  I mean, we sort of laugh at all the pictures of teenagers that spend all their time with their faces looking at screens, but are unlikely to realize that we do the same thing, or we make excuses for our own obsessiveness.

What power do I have, really, as a Christian, when I am tuned more into my Facebook than the Holy Spirit?  Am I leading anyone to want Jesus by my life on the couch, watching television?

I am not saying that watching television is bad.  I simply believe that I need to cut back on how much time I spend watching shows, sometimes repeating episodes, just to relax.  It isn't adding to the quality of my life or my witness.  It isn't building my relationships, with God or with others.

AND... there's also the issue of my insomnia.  Screen time, whether from a television, tablet, or smart phone, tricks our bodies into thinking it is still daylight, and our brains don't release the necessary melatonin needed to fall asleep well.  I've been plagued by insomnia for years, and since most of my television viewing and Candy Crush playing happens in the evening, I wonder how much of this comes into play.  Are screens exacerbating insomnia?  When I read at bedtime, I tend to fall asleep much more quickly.  I absolutely believe that screens are negatively impacting my sleep. 

Does this mean setting rules for myself?  No television after 8 in the evening?  No more than a hour a day?   Checking Facebook less often?  More time living in the moment, enjoying my family and friends?  To all of this, yes.  I have made the decision to live my life, not just watch others living pretend lives on a screen.

My quest to simplify my life has led me to think about being very purposeful in these choices.  As much as I love the Five-O crew, and dream of Hawaiian living, I think maybe I should work on my life here in the snowy Midwest, and make better use of my time.

Slow Steps

It's a slow process, this whole simplifying, decluttering, minimalist thing.  Life still happens, and my time is limited. 

I count every step forward as success.

Yesterday was a rough day.  It wasn't one thing, but a combination of things that lead to a day where I felt like nothing could go right.  I still managed to fill a box with random items from around the living room, and completely organize a desk drawer.  It's one box.  It's one drawer.  It's one thing at a time, but it is still progress.  

I tend to look at life as a journey.  The projects I take on are part of that journey. I finished up both the Be More With Less Devotional as well as the Be More With Less book, both by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist.  It was encouraging to spend the first part of the year focusing on why intentionally simplifying and minimizing stuff leads to a more full, complete life.

I have this picture in my dining room that had been my grandmother's before she passed.  It's a well-known verse.  But, while studying and implementing minimalism, this verse suddenly took on new meaning.

This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

Of course, I can hear the hymn that uses these words, and I sing them.  As I declutter, I realize that stuff is way too often the reason we rejoice.  It is human nature to acquire, often selfishly.  Too often, we rejoice at new purchases.  

Last year I worked for a tax firm during tax time.  It was only a few weeks, during the peak season, and I only answered phones, made appointments, and checked people in for their appointments.  However, I saw a lot of people desperate for their tax refunds.  A large group was using that money to help themselves out of financial difficulties.  So many, however, simply wanted to use the funds to buy stuff; That new big screen tv, those new clothes, the electronics...  stuff. According to Consumer Research, "Of the consumers who view their tax refund as a bonus, 53% plan to make some sort of purchase with their refund money. "

I am not one to judge others for how they decide to allocate tax refund money.  My husband and I tend to plan major purchases for tax time also.  We purchase our homeschool curriculum for the following school year with our refund.  We also often purchase things we put off, like needed clothes for my husband and me, or expensive car repairs.  Like many others, my husband and I purposely claim less dependents throughout the school year so that more taxes are taken out at each pay period and we can receive a larger refund.  We tend to look at it as a way to save money without the temptation to spend the savings, because we only have access to the funds once a year.

Rejoicing in stuff has been a way of life. It's a rush, receiving that refund.  The rush continues when we purchase stuff.  When curriculum comes in, the excitement compares to Christmas morning as a child for me. It is like, for a brief period, I can fill a void that forms after feeling broke the rest of the year.  

This year, however, feels different.  Yes, there is homeschool curriculum purchases that will be made.  The list is much smaller this year  as I apply some minimalistic principles to our homeschooling. I just don't have the desire to spend thousands on books and workbooks and expensive materials.  I have a list of needs, not wants. 

I also have no desire to clutter up my home with tons of stuff.  I don't need it.  My mind is changing, renewing, as I read more and more, and study God's Word on this issue.  David Platt explains so expertly in his book, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream, the following:

"No teachers (including Jesus) in the New Testament ever promised material wealth as a reward for obedience. As if this were not starling enough to first-century Jews (and twenty-first century American Christians), we also see no verse in the New Testament where His people are ever again commanded to build a majestic place of worship.  And their possessions are to be spent on building, not a place where people can come to see God's glory, but a people who are taking Gid's glory to the world.

Isn't the hidden assumption among many Christians in our culture that if we follow God, things will go well for us materially?  Such thinking is explicit in 'health and wealth' teaching, and it is implicit in the lives of Christians whose use of possessions looks virtually the same as that of our non-Christian neighbors."

And so, one box at a time, I load up possessions to donate to those that might have more use for them.  One drawer at a time, I declutter.  And slowly, with each pay check, I consider what is a need and what is a want.  And, as tax refund season looms ahead, I make mental and physica preparations on where my money should go.  It won't be on a bunch of stuff...  this I know.

My husband and I live on a small income, especially compared to many around us.  We can't compete with those that make triple our income and live with a couple car payments and a large mortgage.  We don't have those burdens because we can't afford them.  Maybe that is a true blessing.  We live with less, because we can't afford what most Americans see as normal.  I used to feel that we were not as blessed as others because we didn't have as much income or material possessions.  We didn't have the ability to go out to eat often or buy the newest or best of anything.  We live paycheck to paycheck, and struggle. Every time my husband and I tried to get what we assumed we should have because it was what everyone else seemed to have, bam...  our struggle became so much worse.  Often, the desperation for more turned into a nightmare.  

I think now, however, that this working class living is God's   blessing.  And as I free myself from the burden of things, I find myself excited for the adventures that await, knowing God has a bigger purpose than a life of desperate envy and the insatiable pursuit of possessions. 

Yes, you read that right. When God called me to stay home and homeschool my children, He knew it would mean our lifestyle would be financially limited and that was part of His GOOD plan. Our struggles, our desperation when we couldn't pay the bills, our anger as two vehicles in two years had the transmissions go out,  our grief when we discovered our house was full of mold and making us sick, our frustration with having to start over in a small apartment, all of it is good. It is good because it led my husband and me to this place of realization that we have been striving for a lifestyle that God didn't tell us to live.  It is good because it has shown us the desperation in ourselves for selfish gain, and we see it all around us, and have learned that we don't want to feel that desperation any longer. 

There is a war going on in the spiritual realm, and the war often is God versus materialism.

David Platt explains it this way:

"The lesson I learned is that the war against materialism in our hearts is exactly that: a war. It is a constant battle to resist the temptation to have more luxuries, to acquire more stuff, and to live more comfortably.  It requires a strong and steady resolve to live out the gospel in the middle of an American dream that identifies success as moving up the ladder, getting the bigger house, purchasing the more vet car, buying the better clothes, eating the finer food, and acquiring more things."

So as I fill one more box and declutter one more drawer, I am keeping in mind that this isn't a war simply about stuff.  This is a spiritual war.  We will continue to have possessions in our home, even though we purposely limit them so that our limited resources can go to where God leads, and not what we think will temporarily bring some sense of satisfaction that is fleeting. 

 

A Page of Simple

I redesigned the blog a bit, deleting clutter, and setting up pages for people to find what they may be looking for with more ease.  One of the PAGES that I set up is one that condenses all the posts I have written on simplifying and minimalism.  This is a growing topic in my life, and this blog will most definitely reflect this as I embrace this journey.  I am interested to know how, what started as something small (getting rid of some junk) is challenging every area of my life.

I have also included links to blogs that I have been perusing.  Some are very inspiring!

Please join me in the adventure...

Closet Cleaning

Getting rid of stuff can be a time consuming endeavor.  Today I conquered my linen closet, a dresser full of bed linens, and my bathroom.  I ended up with a few blankets, a few towels , and a shelf of bathroom supplies that I want out of sight.  I have three garbage bags of sheets, blankets, and towels to get donate and trash.  

It's progress, slow and sure. 

I found I wasn't as connected to blankets as I am withthings such as books or knick-knacks. It was actually easy to part with the miscellaneous blankets. 

If only everything was this easy to declutter. 

A step at a time, a day at a time, I am moving in the direction I feel the Lord is leading. 

Devotion Time about Simplifying

My new year has had a rough beginning.  I got sick on New Year's Day with a nasty cold.  And so, the last couple of days have consisted of me trying to kick this illness.  I have had a lot of time, however, to begin my devotional studies for the year.  

While I am waiting to begin one that I have to order, I decided to read a devotional on the YouVersion Bible app.  Joshua Becker has written a book by the same name, The More of Less  which I am also reading.  

I am also going through Praying The Names of Jesus by Ann Spangler.  I have had this devotion for a couple years, and I never stuck with it. 

 

Ironically, the two devotions seem to be reinforcing the same things.  My devotion in Praying the Names of Jesus today was on Jesus being the Bread of Life.  Ironically, I'm gluten free and don't eat a lot of bread.  However, I loved bread...  a LOT!  When Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes to feed the five thousand, the bread was barley.  Wheat was the bread of the wealthy. Jesus gave them cheap but miraculous bread to sustain them.  The best day the people followed Him, wanting Him to give them more bread.  But He was the Bread that could satisfy eternally, not loaves of barley... no matter how miraculous.  It's the difference of living off of McDonald's French fries instead of a gourmet meal. 

Too many Christians are satisfied with the cheap bread or the happy meal. Joshua Becker makes the same point in The More of Less.  We fill our lives with excess possessions.  We buy the big houses and the nice cars and the large televisions and call ourselves blessed.  But... is it a blessing?  What if all our "stuff" actually gets in the way of our spiritual growth? 

A few years ago I read two books that opened my eyes.  First, I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  Then I read Radical by David Platt.  Both books planted seeds in me about what a sold-out life for Jesus would look like.  

The American Dream with all its comforts and niceties, it's the cheap bread.  It's the Happy Meal.  On the surface, than American Dream is shiny and looks new.  It would seem as if that American Dream was the blessing of God.  But is it?

Blessing isn't about stuff. Joshua Becker writes about how excessive accumulation of possessions is actually keeping us from being happy and content.  Ann Spangler writes that when we are full of the cheap bread, we may not be hungry for the Lord.  John Bevere once said that if we aren't hungry for God, we should look to see what is filling us.  Chances are we are full of the world. 

There are many ways to be full of the world.  We can be filling up on the world with the movies and television shows we watch, with the magazines we read, and with the sites we browse on the internet.  We can be filling up on the world with the people we call friends and spend time with. Having things doesn't mean we are full of the world.  

This is my personal journey.  My husband and I homeschool.  We live on one income, and it is a working class income that is stretched as far as we can.  The decision to homeschool our children has meant that we purposely live with a little less.  We don't take fancy vacations.  We don't buy expensive anything.  We save for big purchases.  We buy curriculum at tax time.  We are careful, because homeschooling is important to us.  

Living with less money can be difficult.  We don't order pizza all the time.  We go out to eat a handful of times per year.  We drive a much older vehicle.  We take cheaper vacations (the few times we can afford to)  usually staying with friends.  

Watching others can create a lot of envy.  When I walk through the nice homes of family while I live in a small apartment, I have to keep my heart in check.  I don't begrudge others their nice things and nice lifestyles.  I really don't.  But I can feel a bit jealous at times.  I have to remind myself that I choose to homeschool, to put my children first. 

Having less money can make a person a great "bargain" finder.  And, I was also a bit of a pack rat. Despite a limited income, my home was full.  Cluttered.  And I felt weighed down by the stuff.  While I can't afford the buy new stuff often, I don't want a life full of junk.  I want peace and less stress.  I want the items I own to be nice things, things I love, things I want to keep.  I want contentment, even if I can't afford a lot of things.

Even more, as a Christian, I feel like all this stuff keeps me from the life God wants me to have.  I feel like Jesus didn't die so I could have a bunch of stuff.  He doesn't want me living off the cheap bread.  I agree.

New Year's Resolutions

Every year resolutions are made by millions, and last maybe a week or two.  With the best of intentions, we want to count ourselves as having grown a little wiser from the years previous.  We often know what we ought to do, but can't seem to find the resolve to carry out those good intentions long term.

I am one of the many that makes New Year's resolutions, and don't always stick with them once the emotions have worn off and the will power has been tested. I find myself, this year, facing new challenges and a life that is changing.  I became a grandma.  I am going back to college after 25 years.  I have a daughter getting married this year.  

So, as I began to think long and hard about what I wanted the new year to hold for me, I found that I am tired of complicated.  I can complicate anything!  Despite complicated only adding stress, I still do it!  My mind works overtime all the time!

 

So. I came up with a list of resolutions.  The list above doesn't have details due to lack of space, but these eight things are goals. I am doing what I can to make life simple for myself.  

Despite the eight things on the list, this really is a less is more philosophy.  It's about taking care of myself so I can do all that God asks me to do.

1. Spend Time with God Every Morning

 

This is a habit that I know is vital for me to stay focused on what is important.  Every blessing I have is from the Lord.  He is my guidance, my strength, my foundation.  My days beginning with Him change my life.

2. Eat Real Food

It is so easy to grab a bag of chips and frozen pizzas.  Those things have their first place, occasionally. I have been striving to regain health for years, and it is tough at times.  Years of research has shown me that the Standard American Diet really is SAD, and it has taken a large toll on my health.    My goal is to eat lots of real fruits and vegetables and less processed foods.

3. Exercise

I know... I know...  Everyone has "Exercise more" on their New Year's resolution list.   I have to make this goal not about losing weight, because I get discouraged too easy when my weight doesn't change.  With my thyroid issues, weight loss is difficult.  However, I want to feel better and sleep better.  I want to go hiking this year with my husband.  I want to keep inflammation inside my body down.  I actually have specifics for this list.  Walking, yoga, and just moving more.  I don't want to complicate things or set up unrealistic expectations.

4. Declutter Possessions

 

Stuff...  there is simply too much.  We live in an apartment.  Clutter overwhelms me.  Even my cherished books and pictures are starting to overwhelm me.  I don't want my life buried in stuff.  So, my plans are to continue the downsizing journey I began a couple years ago. Minimalism seems to be growing in popularity as people realize that all their stuff isn't making them happy.  For me, the revelation came when I was reading a Lisa Wingate novel.  The main character was lamenting to her grandmother about all the stress she was enduring after her son was born with problems, and she had to take time off work.  The worry wasn't so much about the baby as about how the loss of income was causing such financial stress as they tried to maintain their lifestyle.  The grandmother just looked at her granddaughter and told her, "Maybe you should want less."

 

Like a lightbulb lighting up, I suddenly realized that the cause of so much stress in my life is discontentment.  Being content and grateful is a purposeful act.  Maybe I should want less.  

5. Get Outside Daily

 

As a homeschool mom, I am home...  a lot.  In the winter cold and summer heat, I can hibernate.  However, I don't think God created us to be hermits.  He created this beautiful world to be enjoyed.  For awhile I was walking nearly every day.  I would go out every morning, in almost every kind of weather, and walk a couple miles.  I began to purposely take a picture a day in these walks, looking for the beauty around me.  I stopped when life got busy.  I regret that.  Even if only for a few moments, I need to get outside. I need to remember that it is a big world, and my little apartment isn't the center of it.

6. Cherish Relationships

 

Life isn't about stuff.  God has blessed me with a beautiful family.  Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.  Losing my grandmother a few years ago brought that stark reality to my heart.  Two of my fldaughters have grown up and moved out.  Another daughter gets married this year.  The daughter that was my first homeschool student has a year and a half of homeschooling left before she graduates and begins her life as an adult.  I want to cherish the moments with my daughters and all my loved ones.  They won't last forever.

7. Read More

 

I will be reading a lot since I homeschool and am beginning college.  This remains a goal of mine.  The compromise is to enjoy lots of reading without adding to the clutter. 

8. Cut Out Most TV

I am not completely eliminating.  I have a couple shows I enjoy, and I'm not going to get rid of tv completely. However, spending hours in front of the television is not what I want to do any longer.  I want to live my life, not watch other people's fictional lives on a screen.  

 

So these are my eight resolutions.  Will I succeed?  Happy New Year!

Joy in The Journey

My oldest daughter gave me this mug as part of my Christmas.  I LOVE it!!  Just the word 'joy' made me smile and lifted my spirit.  

The New Year is approaching.  College classes will be starting for me.  We'll go back to our school routine.  For now, I intend to just enjoy the break from it all.  I intend to pray. I intend to simplify some things because complicated makes me stressed.

Stress makes me sick.  

Recently I was reading The Book of Mysteries by Jonathan Cahn and I came across a couple very important truths.  The first was The Mystery of the Bride.  This devotion was simply about how, as the Bride of Christ, we are wired to find our completion in Jesus.  When we try to fill that void with things or achievements or people or money, we will not find true peace.  Then, a few days later, I read about The Tent World.  The Hebrew people wandered the desert as nomads for forty years.  They lived in tents.  Embodied in this is how this world and all that is in it is temporary.  This world is not our home.  We are just passing through as campers.  "This journey, for the child of God, is the journey home, to the Promise Land."

All the books and articles I have read on simple living and minimalism point to the truth of this being a temporary dwelling place, even though many of the authors aren't Christian.  However, Christians are starting to "get it" also.  More and more Christians are writing books about how Scripture points to not placing our focus on the things of this world.  

“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I have a problem with Christianity being nothing more than a "churchy" version of the American dream.  Will God bless financially?  Yes, of course.  He wants us to be able to bless others.  In the early church the Christians shared everything together, sold land and possessions to bless others.  This seems vital to me.  I don't think God separates between secular and spiritual.  It is all about Him.  Our jobs... about Him.  Our stuff...  about Him.  If we are simply passing through this world, and we can't take any of it with us, should we spend our lives acquiring a bunch of stuff that weighs us down and may even keep us from Him?

Think stuff doesn't keep you from Him?  How many hours are you working to have all this stuff and to maintain a lifestyle that is expensive?  How many hours are you spending caring for this stuff?  How much of your heart does your stuff have a hold on?

I am preaching to myself here.  When my husband and I were forced to downsize a couple years ago, we had to get rid of a lot of stuff.  It was difficult to do at the time.  And yet, I don't miss any of it now.  Then, a year ago, when I went through a mass decluttering purge, it was difficult.  And yet, I don't miss any of the stuff.  Now that I need to declutter again, I feel a clash in my spirit between wanting to hold on to things and wanting to let go and simplify.  The end result is more peace and order, but the process can be emotionally difficult. 

Yes, ridding myself of things can be emotionally difficult.  We attach ourselves to our things.  We place value on them by the memories they bring.  I have many of my Grandmother's things.  She passed away a few years ago, and I stored her things.  Now, as I give her things to family, it is difficult because these were her items.  I loved her so much, and her things around make me feel like a part of her is with me.  But I can't hold onto all this stuff.  And she is with Jesus.  So, one knock-knack at a time, I am parting with  them slowly.

I have a vision in my mind of what I want my life to represent.  I keep that vision close because, when I stop thinking of that vision, I allow life to get complicated.  I have this vision of traveling lightly through this world,taking  pictures of the journey, writing about the journey, and experiencing this journey with Jesus by my side.  Part of this journey right now is homeschooling my children, discipline them for Christ.  I'm embarking on a new journey as I go to college again after 25 years. Now, I desire to make the journey light.  I don't want to carry the weight of all this stuff any longer.  I want to have JOY in the journey. 

Give Me The Simple Life

I drifted away from my desire for simple.

 

It wasn't a conscious decision.  As my year went on, and I was busy, things naturally drifted toward complicated.  I became a grandma and signed up for college within a couple months.  I will now have less time, but I am not sorry.  I waited a long time to go back to college.  And my grandson?  I'm so in love with him it's ridiculous.

I still have three children at home.  We still homeschool two of them. Every single one of my children loves to pack my house with stuff.

Ick... stuff.

It's Christmas time.  I shopped very minimally, and yet I fear the stuff that will invade.  Today I snapped and threw away several decorations.  Yes, they were broken, but no one could tell.  Except me.  It was driving me crazy! I tossed them and am hoping no one noticed.  I would toss more, but then they would notice and it would be an argument.

My family likes to hold onto stuff.  I have my things I like holding onto also, but it's usually pictures and books... my two weaknesses. I'm not sure how to tell my nine year old that she doesn't need a bag of rocks in her bedroom, or my sixteen year old that her makeup is taking over the bathroom.  And that nine year old has my same book obsession, and her bedroom floor and shelves are proof.

I'm ready to minimize and declutter and get rid of stuff once again.  Simplify...  such a sweet word.  It's a word that should bring peace and joy.  And yet so many, and I mean the loved ones that live in my home, have a strong attachment to things.  It's their "stuff!"  And they don't want me to eliminate any of it!

Families are crazy, quirky things.  The last time I decluttered I had two daughters in a missions trip in Alaska!  They couldn't fight me from there.  My youngest was a bit upset at my decluttering.  She still remembers that I donated a book she loved.  I actually donated boxes of books, but I guess one she liked slipped in ithout me realizing.

And so, after Christmas, before I begin my college classes, I have a couple weeks to declutter and purge.  Will it happen the way I wish.  Probably not, but any progress is better than none.

Adjusting The Schedule

Going to college this year has definitely altered my plans in homeschooling... And I haven't even officially started yet!  

When I decided that that the time to go back to college was NOW, not in a year or two, I knew our homeschool would need some adjusting.  As I have spent hours every day reviewing and relearning high school math to pass an entrance exam, I have caught a glimpse of just how much homeschooling will need to "adjust" in order for work to be done in a productive manner by the girls and me.

Truthfully, it has been a scary realization.  My oldest homeschooler this year is in high school.  She is very independent and works steadily through, only doing her Bible work with me... At my insistence.  I have spent the last few years doing Bible with my girls and I enjoy the time together. 

My nine year old, however, has been a challenge.  She is very ADHD, or maybe it only seems as if things have gotten worse because I am busy myself this year.  She is smart, but her focus has been very crazy this year so far.  I have redone her schedule three times and had to take some serious time to re-evaluate what we are doing.  She has to be able to do a lot more independently.

Today was the first successful day we have had in a week.  I cut out a lot of the busy work, and even much of the activities.  Read aloud time is in the evening before bed so that I can work on my studies during the day.  Cutting busywork freed more time for one of the ways she learns so well... Reading.  We made a trip to the library to pick up books about the subjects she is studying in her main lessons.  We grabbed books about George Washington and colonial times, bird books to go along with reading about John Audubon, and some fun reads for the end of the day.  I know some curricula schedules time for a "book basket," which follows a similar concept as what I did today.  Rounding out the core lessons with extra books about the topics, from nonfiction to fiction, helps students retain information and go more in depth about a topic. 

I have had to cut some things in our studies that required a lot of time from my day.  Gosh, that sounds so bad, especially as I am sitting right next to my daughter most of the day as she completes her school.  However, these things have either been blended in elsewhere or are nice to have, but not vital.  For instance, my daughter is reading through readers with a lot of poetry.  She is completing two separate reading programs beside her extra reading.  Does she really need a complete separate poetry section that is mom dependent right now?  She also completed a Bible program that I have loved for years on top of Bible memory work for church.  Does she need to do another Bible program? 

I have been reading a lot about self-learning because my daughter does this type of thing all the time.  She gets interested in something and reads everything she can about the topic.  Being ADHD, she can fly through material if it catches her interest and she hyper-focuses.  While I want her to stick to a lesson plan, I think this is the ideal time to give her more time to explore her own interests some also.  

I've pared down her lessons to include math, English, spelling and vocabulary, music, and reading, reading, reading.  In that reading is history and science and literature. She will also go through some geography this year. She is artistic on her own and is always creating a new "masterpiece."  The majority of the reading is coming from the Heart of Dakota plans.  Plus, we read aloud for an hour every evening.  We finished The Green Ember last night and are nearing the end of The Penderwicks. 

As we make these adjustments, I am apprehensive.  I pray fear away.  I don't want to cheat my children for my own goals.  Other homeschooling families have two parents that work.  Some homeschooling families are single parents, working and schooling their children.  I may have to adjust some of the learning and time schedules, but I am determined to make this work. Online classes are truly a blessing for a mom that homeschools.

Simple Homeschool Planning

As the time to begin our homeschool year draws nearer, and my plans to begin college a couple weeks after become more and more a reality, I find myself looking over my carefully made plans with a bit more scrutiny.  Will I be able to get it all accomplished with my nine year old, keep track of the high schooler's lessons she is completing, and focus on my own work?  

A couple problem areas quickly caught my eye.  First, I may need to look carefully at all the "subjects" I have scheduled.  Before I knew I was going to attend college, I added some supplementation here and there for the girls.  That... May have to go to some degree. 

Then I realized that one problem area I have with my youngest is math.  She struggles and I always feel that it takes forever.  I schedule math first so she can get it done and over with, and then I find myself looking at all the stuff left in the day and wondering if we will get it all accomplished.  Math needs more time.  I want my daughter to not feel rushed because we have a jam-packed schedule.  I want her to understand math, to not struggle with it so overwhelmingly.  This means she needs time.  I am thinking of breaking up her lessons into two sections so she does half in the morning and half in the afternoon.  

When I think about what I want my children to know after they graduate, I want them to know God, and be well-grounded in the basics.  I want them to pursue the things their own interests and actually have time to do so.   I want them to be well read, with a love of reading.  I want them to have the skills in math and science and English to be able to strive for what they feel God has for them to do. 

Will that come with an overwhelming schedule that leaves them no time or energy at the end of the day?  Will they excel at the basics of all the extras take over?

I am praying for God to show me what to cut and what to leave.  

Maybe You Should Want Less

I want Audible.  Audible is the Amazon-based company that produces audio books that can be downloaded to my phone. The cost is $14.95 a month.  My little public library has such a limited selection of audiobooks.  I have had trouble transferring them from CD to my phone to use while I walk.  The selection of Playaways, little MP3 devices with a preloaded audiobook, at my library is even more limited. Audible has hundreds of thousands of books!

But the $14.95 is another expense at a time when we have limited income. My husband doesn't want me to sign up right now. 

My husband's truck needs a new alternator.  The money I had saved to fix the alternator went instead to put new wheel bearings in the van after our trip to Georgia.  The money in savings is getting smaller as we plan for our daughter's graduation.  I miss having a vehicle during the day as my husband takes the van to work.  However, my daughter has her car so we aren't completely vehicle-less.  

I had been hoping to move from this apartment to a house.  Unfortunately, finding a house to rent in our town is a challenge.  Rent is high and selection is scarce. We thought of moving to a larger town, but my husband would need to transfer because commuting for his job would be too expensive.  Nothing has opened up, however.  So, we are staying where we are.

My husband thought about putting in for a promotion at work.  He is good at his job and has learned a lot.  He is often sent to classes at the main office to learn about new machines.  However, he hasn't even been in this career two years.  There is a lot he is still learning, and many of the workers have been there a lot longer.  He knows experience matters in considering promotion. The job, being a government one, doesn't give raises often, and we struggle to pay expenses. A promotion would mean a pay raise, but  it is unlikely at this time. 

As I was struggling with all these things, a quote from the book Tending Roses by Lisa Wingate came to me.  "Maybe you should want less."

I can hear the grandma's voice, saying that line to her stressed out, financially burdened granddaughter.  

Is it as simple as making a choice to want less?  Does it do any good to live in frustration?  

I see many times that people will strive to do it all, to have it all.  They work themselves to death, longing for money and the security and things they think money can bring.  They spend most of their time in pursuit of stuff.  They want the expensive home and the two newer cars and the trips and the restaurants and the big televisions and game systems.  They don't think about what they are missing in their pursuit of having it all. 

"Maybe you should want less..."

I have dreams that have never been fulfilled.  I have had to lay those dreams at the feet of Jesus, knowing they might never be fulfilled. Instead, the Lord has given me a beautiful family.  Instead of going to college, I get to have lots of time to read and study on my own. My career is to teach my children, homeschooling them. Instead of lots of travel, I have smaller trips and a lot of adventures in my books.  

This is a season of my life.  One day the dishes and laundry won't pile up and the school books won't be strung around the home.  I won't be cooking for a large crew.  Wanting less now might actually give me more.  I get the privilege of being with my children and creating memories with them daily.  

Can I look at the things I want, give them to the Lord, and see what He gives me?  Can I see that my wants are mostly about me and give them to the Lord, allowing Him... TRUSTING HIM... to give me what He desires for me. 

It sounds selfish, to want more, more, more.  And yet, don't most of us want more?  Delving into minimalism didn't mean I stopped wanting.  It simply changed what I wanted. 

Even if I never am able to afford Audible, I can read.  I can make do with what the library has in stock and inter-library loan. If I must stay in this apartment, I thank the Lord because we have a roof over our head.  We have spent time in our lives with no vehicle, walking and depending on others for rides to get to where we needed to be.  Making do with one for a bit isn't the end of the world.  And God is our provider, not my husband's job.  God will open doors as He desires, for transfers or promotion and in pay. He knows what we need and that we are doing our best to serve Him in our lives.

"Maybe you should want less."

Maybe I need to listen to this advice and want less.  It is a choice, I believe.  It may be a challenge in our materialistic society. It definitely goes against what is believed in culture.  I think the key to contentment is in choosing purposely to want less and to trust the Lord.

Teaching From Rest - A Book Review

I'll never forget when I stumbled upon The Read Aloud Revival on iTunes.  I had searched the term homeschooling, wanting something to listen to that would push me through the lack of motivation I was feeling. I listened to the first podcast and was hooked. 

That was less than six months ago!

I have since listened to most of the Read Aloud Revival podcasts.  I have read many blog posts on Sarah Mackenzie's blog, Amongst Lovely Things Recently, I purchased a copy of the book Teaching From Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakeable Peace.

I finished the book a few minutes ago.  Sarah Mackenzie, the author, also writes for Amonst Lovely Things and is the voice behind the Read Aloud Revival pocast.  The book isn't overly long, and yet it was encouraging for this homeschool mom. 

I gathered many little nuggets in my reading of Teaching from Rest.  I liked many of the ideas.  However, the biggest encouragement I found was not really a tip or a way to make homeschooling more efficient. Sarah Mackenzie talked about thinking about a couple things that I never had thought about before I opened Teaching from Rest. She talked about creating an environment in which I, mother and teacher, could thrive.  

Me?

After spending years researching how children learn, how to best teach to different ways of learning, methods, ideas, philosophies... I didn't put myself in the equation much.  But then I read, "To become peaceful and happy, you've got to figure out what's true about you. What creates an environment in which you can thrive?"

How many times have I felt on the edge of burnout?  I would dive into a curriculum, full force, and give it my all, only to be exhausted after a few weeks.  When faced with unforeseen circumstances, and there have been many (unemployment, health issues, financial setbacks, vehicle problems, mold in a house, etc), I would toss up my hands in despair and use a self-paced, don't need a lot from Mom curriculum. I would use one curriculum to help a child with one learning issue, and then be totally discouraged and defeated when it wasn't the miracle cure I had hoped.  

It opened my eyes a bit to truly think about what helps me thrive as a homeschooling mom. 

Sarah made another point when she discussed what she wanted her children to say in twenty years when asked how they liked homeschooling.  I never thought of that either.  Would my kids say they hated it? Would they talk about the lessons they learned? The curriculum?

I want them to talk about learning together every morning about the Lord.  I want them to remember the awesome books we read.  I want them to remember that, yes, I pushed them at times in skills and subjects where they struggled, and they learned they could do hard things. I want them to remember the laughter around the table as crazy answers were given or mom mispronounced a word. I don't even mind if they remember the boring documentaries that one child lived and another hated, because they did it together. 

I think I'm on the right path. After eight years of homeschooling, I am learning about what makes me thrive.  I am okay cutting things and simplifying and smiling more.  

Savor more.

Two of my daughters have grown and married.  I am expecting my first grandchild! Another daughter graduates this year. My next daughter has only two years of high school left.  My baby turns nine this month.  Yes, I love the thought of savoring more. I love the thought of holding the moments, that fly by so quickly, close to my heart. 

I will definitely reread Teaching from Rest every so often.  It is such an encouraging book! Thank you, Sarah Mackenzie, for writing the lessons you have learned and sharing with the rest of us. 

Is What We Have Enough?

It is so easy to trust in ourselves.  We often don't realize we are doing it.  We are accustomed to things being a certain way, and change is never easy.  When things change, we must ask ourselves where our trust lies.  Does it lie in our income?  Our nice home? Our spouse? Our good job?  Our health?

We know those things can disappear quickly.  Without trust in something bigger than ourselves, when one of those things disappears, will we stand?  Or will we collapse?

How many times will we pull ourselves up by the bootstraps before one snaps?

I received news earlier today that was discouraging.  It means our family will once again endure an income reduction.  While my husband's job is unaffected, we have lost a couple income sources that helped us.  So, now we attempt to endure on less.  

I felt that panic flow through me.  Thoughts slammed into my brain like punches. "Our budget is already strained."  "Christmas is coming." "I have medical expenses."  "What about the things we need?"

Then I remembered that God has me in the palm of His hand.  Things happen for His reasons, even when they are hard or unexplainable. He is my provider!  I can turn to Him any time.  He can bless us, sustain us, and hold us up... EVEN WHEN WE DON'T SEE HOW!  He will do those things, because He keeps His Word.

By leading me towards minimalism, He has already decreased the desire in me over the last few months to own more and more.  That doesn't mean I don't need things, or the kids don't need things, but we need less than we think.  

Often, we have leftovers in the fridge.  After Thanksgiving yesterday, I am sure many spent today snacking on turkey sandwiches and reheating stuffing.  But even on a normal week, I have noticed my fridge usually has a container or two of dinner.  It happened so often that I've come to realize that I cook too much.  After cooking for seven, I never adjusted to cooking for less.  Leftovers used to be eaten the next day by my husband, but the new job he started last year has him away from a microwave or refrigerator.  He often just makes a sandwich.  

Reducing the amount I cook will save some money.  Planning my meals helps also.  

There are things we can do to reduce expenses.  It's just easy to depend on that income flow and not the Provider of all our needs.  

There is something peaceful about praying and telling God, "You know our needs.  I'm trusting You."  

My mind can easily race to all the things I think I need.  Purposely setting instead to all He has blessed me with is challenging.  However, one path perpetuates dissatisfaction.  The other path breeds contentment.  One path floods my emotions with anxiety and fear.  The plot her path calms my mind and brings unexplainable peace.  

I must choose... 

Daily.

On purpose.

Setting my mind. 

Get Outside!

I was very discouraged today.  I tried new shoes.  Actually I bought them at Goodwill a few months ago.  They are great shoes, but I didn't try them on.  The result are two huge blisters on my feet.  So... Going outside the rest of the day with the snow couldn't happen.  I may have to wear slippers to the store tomorrow.

I was so bummed by it.  Silly, I know, but my outside time has become vital to me. From my morning walks to later walks with my loved ones to playing with my youngest or taking my nephew to the park, I have fallen back in love with being outside!

When I'm walking or enjoying the fresh air, the health issues I have don't bother me much.  The aching muscles and joints don't hurt.  In the house I always feel like I'm freezing.  Outside, when I'm walking and moving, even if I'm cold, I'm not freezing. Yes, I am hypothyroid.  I am getting treatment, but it is a S-L-O-W process.

I have noticed that the outside time is amazing for Megan.  She tends to focus a little better in our homeschool when I let her go outside, even if just to walk our dog.  Sending her outside to play in the afternoons, even when it's cold, means she sleeps better.  For an ADHD insomniac, these are remedies I like that don't include medication.

Lately I've been spending a lot of time remembering who I used to be.  I was an outdoor girl as a child.  Being outside did not stop my reading obsession.  There was always a tree to read under or a fence line to walk (while reading). I remember the girl that loves adventure, on one Grandmother's farm or with the other going to the theater and out to eat. 

I'm remembering the young woman I used to be.  Before I was a Christian, before I became a stay at home wife and mother, I was a woman that traveled a little.  I feel like God is reminding me of who I was, because she isn't dead. 

As a new Christian, I buried my past.  The old me is gone.  I'm a new creation, right?  But, God created me.  The mistakes I made and the sin I chose and the shame and guilt, that should be gone.  Christ took that upon himself. For some reason, I let go of all the things that made me who I am because I felt that person didn't have much value.

The things I loved, I laid aside.  Being outside with my kids became them playing outside while I made dinner.  The fun travels were usually substituted by doctor's appointments and soccer games and friends... All for the children.  A couple times a year the hubby and I would go out for an evening.  

It wasn't until recently that the 'ole travel bug came back.  Mostly, I just felt cooped up.  I liked going for walks outside. It didn't feel as strenuous as working out inside.  It relaxes me.

I began considering the differences in how I grew up and how my youngest daughter is growing up. I realized she needs to be outside AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Yes, her ADHD would be helped, but I also believe spending hours outside is an education in itself. 

Snow and cold temps make it a bit discouraging at times.  My walking shoes aren't waterproof.  The blister-makers from Goodwill may keep the water out, but the pain isn't worth it to me. And it's the holiday season.  Extra funds for waterproof shoes will have to wait. 

Longing to be outside opens the door to more nature walks, more field trips, and more time to just get away.  It definitely opens the door to adventures. 

Get outside and have some adventures.