Maybe You Should Want Less

I want Audible.  Audible is the Amazon-based company that produces audio books that can be downloaded to my phone. The cost is $14.95 a month.  My little public library has such a limited selection of audiobooks.  I have had trouble transferring them from CD to my phone to use while I walk.  The selection of Playaways, little MP3 devices with a preloaded audiobook, at my library is even more limited. Audible has hundreds of thousands of books!

But the $14.95 is another expense at a time when we have limited income. My husband doesn't want me to sign up right now. 

My husband's truck needs a new alternator.  The money I had saved to fix the alternator went instead to put new wheel bearings in the van after our trip to Georgia.  The money in savings is getting smaller as we plan for our daughter's graduation.  I miss having a vehicle during the day as my husband takes the van to work.  However, my daughter has her car so we aren't completely vehicle-less.  

I had been hoping to move from this apartment to a house.  Unfortunately, finding a house to rent in our town is a challenge.  Rent is high and selection is scarce. We thought of moving to a larger town, but my husband would need to transfer because commuting for his job would be too expensive.  Nothing has opened up, however.  So, we are staying where we are.

My husband thought about putting in for a promotion at work.  He is good at his job and has learned a lot.  He is often sent to classes at the main office to learn about new machines.  However, he hasn't even been in this career two years.  There is a lot he is still learning, and many of the workers have been there a lot longer.  He knows experience matters in considering promotion. The job, being a government one, doesn't give raises often, and we struggle to pay expenses. A promotion would mean a pay raise, but  it is unlikely at this time. 

As I was struggling with all these things, a quote from the book Tending Roses by Lisa Wingate came to me.  "Maybe you should want less."

I can hear the grandma's voice, saying that line to her stressed out, financially burdened granddaughter.  

Is it as simple as making a choice to want less?  Does it do any good to live in frustration?  

I see many times that people will strive to do it all, to have it all.  They work themselves to death, longing for money and the security and things they think money can bring.  They spend most of their time in pursuit of stuff.  They want the expensive home and the two newer cars and the trips and the restaurants and the big televisions and game systems.  They don't think about what they are missing in their pursuit of having it all. 

"Maybe you should want less..."

I have dreams that have never been fulfilled.  I have had to lay those dreams at the feet of Jesus, knowing they might never be fulfilled. Instead, the Lord has given me a beautiful family.  Instead of going to college, I get to have lots of time to read and study on my own. My career is to teach my children, homeschooling them. Instead of lots of travel, I have smaller trips and a lot of adventures in my books.  

This is a season of my life.  One day the dishes and laundry won't pile up and the school books won't be strung around the home.  I won't be cooking for a large crew.  Wanting less now might actually give me more.  I get the privilege of being with my children and creating memories with them daily.  

Can I look at the things I want, give them to the Lord, and see what He gives me?  Can I see that my wants are mostly about me and give them to the Lord, allowing Him... TRUSTING HIM... to give me what He desires for me. 

It sounds selfish, to want more, more, more.  And yet, don't most of us want more?  Delving into minimalism didn't mean I stopped wanting.  It simply changed what I wanted. 

Even if I never am able to afford Audible, I can read.  I can make do with what the library has in stock and inter-library loan. If I must stay in this apartment, I thank the Lord because we have a roof over our head.  We have spent time in our lives with no vehicle, walking and depending on others for rides to get to where we needed to be.  Making do with one for a bit isn't the end of the world.  And God is our provider, not my husband's job.  God will open doors as He desires, for transfers or promotion and in pay. He knows what we need and that we are doing our best to serve Him in our lives.

"Maybe you should want less."

Maybe I need to listen to this advice and want less.  It is a choice, I believe.  It may be a challenge in our materialistic society. It definitely goes against what is believed in culture.  I think the key to contentment is in choosing purposely to want less and to trust the Lord.