Revelation in a Deep Freeze

Don't let the glow of the sun fool you.  It is below zero outside.  The kids can't go out to play.  All we can basically do is huddle in the house under blankets while the utility bills rise as we try to heat our hundred year old home.  I long for spring.  I try to tell myself that God has the seasons in place for a reason, but it is difficult when I am desperate for warmth and green.  It seems that white has been surrounding me for a very long time. 

I fight depression in the winter.  I am a person who needs to have light, open spaces.  The early darkness and lack of freedom to go outside and work in my garden or hang clothes on the line or go for a walk all combine to get me down.  I fight this as best I can by letting in as much natural light in my house as I can during the day.  I try to get out of the house, even if it is only to go to the store, on a regular basis.  I try, and sometimes those measures help, but they aren't a cure.

I have thought about moving somewhere more warm year round.  Ironically, the South has gotten cold and snow this year more than usual.  I have lived in the south in the past.  I liked it, despite the oppressive heat in the summers.  We have oppressive heat here in the Midwest too, so it's not that different. 

The truth is, this is where my family lives.  My mom, my grandmother, my husband's family.  The bleak winter may seem to drag and go on forever, but my family is here.  I lived for many years in other parts of the country.  Some of those places were extremely beautiful.  I miss the travel of seeing those other places.  I miss the excitement of moving to a new location and meeting new people.  That kind of gypsy life has been in my blood since my evangelist great-grandparents. 

As wonderful as those places are, nothing compares to family dinners where we can all gather together, sharing our lives.  In an age where families are fragmented, where Facebook relationships are the norm and texting is how much communication is done, I want more for me and my family than that shallow connection to the loved ones God has given me.  I would rather texting and Facebook add to the depth of our connections and be a way to connect with those of whom we would have otherwise lost track.  It's not a substitute for real relationships.

I look at the past, on how relationships were deep and vital.  Distance meant writing long letters describing the events of your life and your feelings.  I think people miss that to a degree.  They have replaced long letters that the receivers cherished with Facebook status and texts.  Technology has allowed us to instantly share what is going on (perhaps too much with not enough discernment).  We can send Grandma a picture over a cell phone and she can instantly see what her Grandchild is doing.  This is something our ancestors could never have imagined.  However, so often, the deep family connections are lost to the sad reality that most of us use these measures as a foundation of connection and relationship. They can't compare.

As this winter continues, and I fight the usual blues, I know God is using the things in my life to speak to me.  Just like technology today makes shallow relationships easy, we often have the same sort of relationship with our Savior.  We talk to him in brief spurts like texts, editing out what we don't want to discuss, not getting too deep.  We expect instant answers to our problems.  We receive a daily bible verse on our phones or over our Facebook status, and let that substitute for real study because we are busy with all that we deem as really "important".  

Homeschooling moms are no exception.  We try to make sure all the needs of our children and homes are met, and neglect the time with God we need for ourselves.  Our relationship with Jesus takes on a shallow quality for ourselves even as we try to nourish our children.  Sadly, we can't give away what we don't have.  It becomes harder and harder to nourish our children, who will follow our example more than our words, when we haven't been nourished ourselves.  Just as it becomes harder and harder to have deep relationships with family and friends through the substitution of bits of technology, we can't just substitute a popular Bible curriculum or a fun church program for guiding our children into a real relationship with Christ.  They may add depth, but alone are only texts messages or a Facebook status. 

I am always amazed at how God speaks to me.  He often uses the mundane and everyday things in my life to show me what He wants for my life and the lives of my family.  He wants us to go deeper.  He wants more than a text message.  He wants a vital, life giving relationship.  He wants to sustain us through the deep freezes of our lives and the times we are struggling with not enough light and warmth.  He wants to give us His light and warmth, but can't do that when we only communicate with Him in brief spurts.  He wants to give us the ability and knowledge to train and guide our children toward Him, and that requires more than shallow methods alone.  A life lived for Christ require more than text messages and a Facebook status.