Thankful For the Tough Times

 This year has been challenging, and it has been challenging for so many.  Some have faced a virus that has taken lives.  Others have been hit so hard by financial difficulties that they are losing or on the verge of losing all they spent years working to build.

My family faced Covid as one after the other were exposed.  The range of severity went from children with no symptoms to ER visits and weeks of recovery.  We were fortunate because there hasn’t been loss of life in our immediate family to this point.  

And yet, I still feel that the extreme measures to contain the virus are a violation of basic rights and civil liberties.  After all, if I can go to Walmart with a mask and see the workers not even wearing them correctly, touch items touched by a hundred others, and stand in a thirty minute line because the store only has one cashier open, I think I can go to church. 

We have kept up with school even in the midst of quarantine and Covid exposure and illness because my daughter was one of the lucky ones that never experienced a symptom...  despite sharing a room with an older sister that got very ill and taking care of me during my most challenging days with this illness.  My thirteen year old is independent in most of her work.  I like to be heavily involved in some subjects, but there is a difference between “needing” me and “benefitting” from working together. 

Our finances have been equally challenged this year.  We have had steady income, but it has been significantly reduced.  I read that up to one-third of all Americans are facing eviction or foreclosure.  We are not in that category, so I consider us blessed. 

But it has changed some things in our home and education.  I had to rework school when the budget became much more strict and I couldn’t afford to purchase what I thought we needed.  The lines between want and need became much less blurred.

There was a saying that developed during The Great Depression that said, “Use it Up, Wear it Out, Make it do, Or do without!” This is our family right now.  The expensive, full-color notebooking pages can be replaced with cheaper, black and white print-outs. We don’t need the best materials to get a quality, God-filled education.  In fact, it might just contribute to creativity.  

This isn’t the first time that I have had to evaluate what we are using and set priorities.  When I had several students in my homeschool, similar choices had to be made.  Over the years I had gotten comfortable with spending more.  I had become complacent in our finances. Now I know that I wasn’t careful and it has caught up to me. 

I steered away from a lot of consumable items in our homeschool, though we do have some.  Those consumable items have now become a point of stress when the funds aren’t there to purchase the next level.  The money to buy them at this time just isn’t there. And, after months and months of cut income, I don’t feel guilty about this.  The reality for millions of Americans is much more dire, so I am thankful for what we have.

I have a library card, those non-consumable materials, and internet connection.  Restructuring our school is not what I anticipated when I could confidently purchase needed items without a blink.  And yet, restructuring is what needed to happen.  Ironically, my daughter likes the simpler materials better.

I have learned that I had stopped being a good steward of what God has given us.  I am thankful for that lesson.  Being sick and having our finances significantly impacted has been tough, but it reminded  me of the lessons that I once knew, but forgot in health and prosperity.  God’s lessons are not just for a season, but a lifelong plan.  It is in the healthy and prosperous times that we are store up for the other times.

This Thanksgiving looks different than previous years.  We aren’t getting together with extended family.  Our counties have been hit hard by Covid and those that haven’t been exposed don’t want to risk illness.  I don’t blame them.  I still get to gather with my children and grandchildren.  I still get to enjoy my family, even if it is a bit less than normal.  I will count my blessings, not focus on the trials. 

Most see 2020 as the worst year.  I agree it has been tough.  I pray it might be looked at not as the worst year, but the year in which God taught the best, most life-changing lessons.  I pray that we see what we took for granted in the past: gathering together with family, income we could count on, health, going to church, hanging out with friends, running our businesses.  I pray that we learn that those things are blessings from God that we should cherish and never, ever, ever take them for granted again. 

Count your blessings.  

Men... You Matter

When a mother comes to Christ, her family will join her at church only 17% of the time; but when a father comes to Christ, his family joins him 93% of the time (WACMM)

I can’t get past this statistic.  This morning I was listening to a pastor on Facebook live as he told the story of a young father that had hated God.  This young father had mocked God.  But, like Saul on the road to Damascus, God had other plans.  This young man was saved, baptized, and filled with the Holy Spirit in moments.  The story then reveals that this young man and his girlfriend, already having had children together, decided to marry. 

In a world where men are too often seen as unimportant, the statistic above and the Word of God reveal this to be untrue.  They are important and, by serving God, can impact eternity.

Why does a man’s family join him at church 93% of the time? Why is it that when a woman attends the percent is only 17%?  

The answer seems unfair and sexist, but the reality is unchanged.  When a man is sold out for Christ, his entire family is changed.  When a woman is sold out for Christ, she then begins an uphill battle for the souls of her family.

Millions have beat the statistics. Millions of godly women have led the way for their families.  They have seen their children find and follow Jesus.  It is far from impossible.  It is simply much more challenging. 

The Bible knows that a spouse can have an impact.  In 1 Corinthians it states:

“Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The verse doesn’t state just how challenging it can be to have a spouse that isn’t following Christ.  And while ladies want to believe we can conquer the world, statistically, the journey to lead even our own children to serve Jesus with their lives without a husband to partner with us is not an easy path.

I saw this first hand in my own life.  It was during a very dark time in my marriage that my husband turned to Jesus.  He actually turned to his dad.  But his daddy was a pastor and, with the help of a second pastor, my husband turned to Jesus.  

I had not witnessed a lot of positive Christianity up till that point.  My grandma had been a beautiful woman of God, but I had also seen cliques and bullying, been treated harshly by Christian family when I had been an unwed teenager, and had a bitter taste in my mouth about Christians. I was hesitant about the decision to follow Christ that my husband had made.  

I didn’t have a bitter taste about Christ, however.  And when my husband began to go to church, I joined him. Soon, I had given my heart to Jesus and our family was changed.  For many years, as we started as baby Christians and grew and learned, I didn’t stop to consider how it could all change. 

When a dark time came upon our family once again (they come on us all), we left church.  I went back after a few weeks, feeling a conviction that my youngest daughter needed to be in church. But convincing the husband to come at that time was a point of contention.  He didn’t want to be there.  He had closed out the voice of God after a few difficult years and circumstances that had left us both broken and shattered. 

My going back to church didn’t change my husband’s mind. Our daughter crying for daddy to come didn’t alter his resolve to not go.  It took a long time.  It took the prayers of a church.  It took another Godly man coming alongside my husband to encourage him to break that apathy. 

None of this happened within a couple weeks.  The slide to apathy and the climb out took years.  Jesus has done an amazing work in my husband over the last 18 or so months.   He is a new man, different even from the man he was when he first followed the Lord in newbie excitement.  His walk with Christ is now not simply based on circumstances; for we have learned that circumstances will rip us apart from the heart of God and send us spiraling into a dark abyss without a relationship based on much more than what is happening in our lives or how we feel.

The contrast is stark between the man he was and the man God is making him.  He knew he was called to ministry years ago, but when life knocked him down, he ran away from that call. I think back to those dark times and how broken I was.  I remember crying all the way to church, trying to hide my tears from my daughter.  I remember feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world, taking her to church alone, feeling like I needed a partner to raise her for Christ.  I didn’t want to do it alone!

And yet, every week, I see other women fighting that same battle.  I see them coming to church, children (or grandchildren) in tow, praying and praising God despite the fact that they are doing it alone.  Some are single moms, clinging to Jesus to get them through the struggles of single parenting.  Some stick.  Many more decide that it’s too hard, and they leave church and a relationship with Jesus just to not have to feel that overwhelming struggle to do it alone.  

Others are married but their husbands aren’t saved, or come to church occasionally.  I know of many women that were saved after they had gotten married.  The deepest desire of their heart is for their husband to give his life to Christ.  I know their hearts.  I know they are praying for the man they love to be a spiritual partner in life.  I know they crave the companionship of a man that will pray with them, pray for them, and help raise their children to love the Lord.  These women are determined to beat the statistics, but they know their husband at their side would change the entire dynamic of their family.

Our culture is one that says following Jesus is unimportant.  When a woman gives her heart to the Lord, and does her best to raise her children for the Lord, she is already fighting a culture that demeans her efforts. When she goes home and, instead of finding support and encouragement, finds she must also battle her husband to change her family, she is fighting a tough battle indeed. 

I didn’t want to have to beat the odds.  I knew what it was like to have that husband by my side serving the Lord.  I took my daughter to church and did my best, but beating the odds wasn’t the cry of my heart.  The cry of my heart was for my husband to be by my side.  

Men, you matter.  You matter to the wives and children in your life.  You can change your family for eternity.  You can be an example for your children, your grandchildren, and even those other kids that witness a man of God being active in his relationship with the Lord.  

Our culture demeans the importance of men and their influence in their children’s lives.  Yes, there have been bad apples.  Yes, there have been abuses.  However, the statistics clearly reveal that men, when they serve Jesus with clean hearts and a deep love for their Creator, bring their family alongside them 93% of the time!

Ninety-three percent!!!

Consider the average two-child family.  For every 100 men that serve the Lord and take their family to church, that is 186 children that are being raised in Christ.  For true believers, Jesus isn’t just a church experience, but impacts home and work.  Those children see Jesus in their home as well as at church.  

It was during the dark times when we stumbled in our faith and my husband’s apathy grew that one of our children went from a believer to a prodigal.  I don’t believe God is done, but I know that our actions at the time contributed.  It was easy to see how moms serving Christ without the support of her husband are going to struggle to keep their children in the faith.  After all, more is caught than taught.  Even as a homeschool mom, where Christian principles and the Word of God was part of our daily lives, the example set was poor.  We were a divided home, and I was so heartbroken and defeated so much of the time that I didn’t hold up well. I made so many mistakes in fear and anger and grief. 

I’m not living in blame or failure.  God has forgiven our actions of that time.  We faced some circumstances and situations that Left us reeling and stripped bare.  I am so thankful to the Lord for drawing us back.  He truly has healed some circumstances that I wasn’t sure we would survive. He restored our faith, our hearts, and placed us on ground that wasn’t solid in the past. If He wasn’t done with us, I have to believe He isn’t down with our prodigal.

There will always be those outliers in the statistics.  There will be women that raise world-changers for the Lord without a spouse by their side.  There will be men that go to church alone, without the support of their spouse. And there will be those children that walk away from the Lord despite parents that love Him and serve Him faithfully. But statistically, the odds are strong that families, churches, and eternity will be impacted by men that trust in the Lord and take their families to church.  

Please be that man.  We are fighting a war that is just as spiritual as physical.  Satan knows that if he wants to destroy what Christ is doing in the world, he can discourage the men first.  He can make them too busy, too distracted, too angry, too apathetic...  anything to keep them from taking their family to church and serving the Lord in his home.  He knows the battle is much more difficult for everyone else if he bombards men.  Satan targets all Christians because he targets those anointed and being remade in the image of Christ.  But he gains a much easier victory when he goes after the husbands and fathers.  

Ladies, if your spouse has walked away, or has never been a Christian, or if you are a single mom trying to raise your children for Jesus against what feels like impossible odds, know you don’t battle alone.  I pray every woman feeling discouraged will know she isn’t alone, that God walked with her even when she cannot see.  He has a plan.  Keep praying.  Keep trusting.  Keep loving.  Keep serving.  Don’t give up!  When you are crying over Scriptures, know the promises are for you.  When you are praying through fear and discouragement, know your prayers are heard and there is a battle going on that may not be apparent in the physical realm.  Surround yourself with other believers that will join you in prayer to battle for your family.  Keep going.  God is faithful and, even if it feels like it will never happen, He is still working. 

“I Can’t Afford to Homeschool”

 

 

“Some of us aren’t blessed to be able to afford to homeschool.”

I still remember that quote being lobbed at me like a hand grenade.  I remember thinking, “I can’t afford it either.”

And my family couldn’t many times.  But...  we also couldn’t afford not to.

Homeschooling has costs.  Even if you use a free curriculum, there are costs.  There are costs associated in public school, too.  Very rarely is anything actually free.  Money was tight for us so often that I worried I might not be able to afford what was needed to provide my children a quality education.  We endured unemployment, lost nearly everything materially we had at one point, had health crisis after health crisis...  and still we plodded on.

I get aggravated when I hear “we can’t afford it.”  God called me to homeschool in 2008.  I argued with God for months.  I approached my husband about it, sure he would be totally against it, and was shocked when he didn’t outright shut me down.  I researched and was shaking the day I wrote the letter to the school to pull my first student out of public school. 

Homeschooling had a cost. 

Financially, it cost me.  There were some free items online, but twelve years ago, the options were definitely more limited.  The first year I bought some used, a couple new workbooks, and hit the library.  

Some years I could purchase curriculum new.  I usually earmarked a chunk of our tax return for purchases.  But that money could have been used in so many other places.  Instead, there was sacrifice.

We did without.  There weren’t many planned vacations...  or even fancy field trips.  There was a lot of Hamburger Helper for dinner.  We made bread homemade at times.  I grew a garden.  We hit yard sales and thrift stores for clothes.  While friends were going to movies, we had movie nights in with library rentals.  When friends were buying new cars, we budgeted gas money for limited trips to town.  When others were going out to eat, we were gathering around our table at home to another meatloaf or more spaghetti.

But God called me to homeschool.  And now, thirteen years later, that calling hasn’t left. 

I know single mothers that homeschool.  I know working mothers arranging schedules and/or working from home to homeschool.   Some use public school resources.  Some use free curriculum (such as Easy Peasy homeschool) to limit expenses.  Some borrow curriculum from other families.  Some use the library and write their own lesson plans.

I remember, more than once, sitting down with a stack of thrift store books and composition notebooks to create my own “workbooks” for my child.  I printed off free, public domain books from Google books to use.  When I did buy, I often looked for some non-consumable books that I could pass down to my younger children.  At times, I would purchase the cheaper workbooks and supplement with library books. 

Where there is a calling, there is a way.  God will provide.  He may not provide riches or ease.  He may call you to spend your free time planning and placing a dozen books on hold at the local library, but He will guide and provide.  

It wasn’t easy.  It was work.  It wasn’t always lightbulb moments or complete joy either.  I had to suck that kid that hated to read into books with some twaddle.  It’s okay.  I made a lot of use of Netflix documentaries for a couple years to fill in the history studies.  I planned projects using books checked out from the library.  I read blogs and found free spelling lists and free book lists and free scope and sequence lists. 

We baked bread homemade to sell at the Farmer’s market.  I babysat.  We canned vegetables.  We did what we needed to get by so we could continue to do what God called us to do.  

Could I afford to homeschool?  No.  But I was obedient anyway.

 

It was worth it.

It was worth it to watch my kids learn and grow.  It was worth it to get to disciple them.  It was worth it to sit around the table and discuss the Bible together.  It was worth it to see the learning struggles turn into confidence. 

Should everyone homeschool?  No.  I can say with confidence that some parents shouldn’t homeschool.  And, there are even some parents that can’t homeschool.  But, there are more parents that can than have allowed themselves the option. 

Right now parents all over the nation have had to homeschool.  Covid-19 has changed many situations and parents have pulled their children for many reasons.  Many will probably go back to public schooling when the pandemic is over.  Some...  maybe more than some...  will stick with it.  They will discover what some of us have known for a long time: that homeschooling is challenging and hard work but worth it. 

Some will move past the public school at home mentality and delve into the world of Charlotte Mason, Unit Studies, Literature-based Education, or become eclectic in their approach.  Some will stick with school at home and their child will thrive because they can relax at home and learn without distraction or the pressures of the public school environment. 

My friend has three children that are grown.  She has stated that she is glad they are grown.  She couldn’t see sending her children to school during this time in history.  

I am glad we aren’t making big life changes for our remaining, school-aged daughter right now.  We already made that choice years ago.  The pandemic has meant a lot of changes in our lives, but our schooling is not one of them.  We just continue on, learning and growing, as we have for years. 

Tent Revival

 It was a busy weekend as our church held revival services with another local church.   We held the services on a local farm.  There is something unique that not only honors moves of God from the past but also ushers in what He is doing today like a good ole tent revival. 

I was honored to speak on a panel.  My topic was women in ministry.  Tackling a topic seen as controversial, even in today’s world, was an honor.  I pray I handled it with grace and wisdom.

It was an incredible weekend of worship, prayer, and the Holy Spirit ministering to and flooding our lives and hearts.  My family loved helping out, being a part.  We also loved allowing God to shape us during this time in our world.  

My youngest getting baptized by her father was the highlight of the weekend for me.  It was such a beautiful thing to see! 

Praising the King of Kings

Music...  it has its own language.  Music works both sides of the brain at the same time.  It reaches into the center of us and grabs hold of us.

Quarantine church worship

My family loves music.  A radio seemed to be always playing through the years.  And even better, most of our family members enjoy singing.  Many play instruments.  Four of my girls have taken piano lessons.  Music brings a lot of joy to our family.

Most of my daughters have used that love of music to worship Jesus.  When I hear them sing or play, it thrills me.  My husband is a bass player, and he loves to join in playing with his girls. 

Ironically, we don't consider ourselves a family that strives to great musical ambition. My husband has been is many bands and loves to play for others.  My oldest daughter studied music in college, gaining a firm footing in theory.  Their experience helps the others that might not have the same background.  She also is a worship leader at her church, leading many to enter into the presence of God.  She loves encouraging others.

My middle daughter, Jasmine, took piano lessons for a couple years in high school, but got very nervous playing in front of people.  A few months ago the piano player for our church moved.  My daughter knew we needed a piano player, so she picked it back up.  In just a few months she has done so well.  And, though she still gets nervous, she knows she is playing for the Lord.

Our youngest daughter loves to sing.  She has taken piano lessons, but that isn't her passion right now.  She sings on the worship team and is maturing in her faith.  This child, like her oldest sister, has to sing.  It is as much a part of her as breathing. 

Music is bonding.  Performing together comes second to worshiping Jesus together. 

Jesus placed music in our lives, and we are blessed to be given such a gift.

The Question I Refused to Ask

Years before I was a Christian, I had an experience that was...  unsettling.  It centered around the newly popular Harry Potter series and my oldest child.  Quite honestly, it freaked me out.  From that point forward, I wanted nothing to do with the books. I won’t detail the experience except to say that it aligned the Harry Potter books in my mind with the occult. I jumped to that conclusion, one many Christians have jumped to, because of the theme and the fact that there was a “spell book” available (albeit unofficial, not written by the author).

I didn’t read the Harry Potter books.  I didn’t want to read them.  I didn’t let my children read them.  Well, a few did, in later years, but not in my presence.  I simply was that freaked out by them.  When I became a Christian, my resolve that they were horrible was only strengthened. 

But...  I never read them for myself. 

I began homeschooling a couple years after becoming a Christian.  Suddenly, I was faced with deciding which books were what I wanted to have in my children’s minds and hearts.  Over the years, as I have jumped into Children’s literature, I would come across a lot of “Harry Potter” defenders.  Articles, blogs, podcasts, other Christians; people I respected were fans of the Harry Potter series. Still, I adamantly refused to consider them.

I have loved to read since I was six, but access to quality literature wasn’t always there for me as a child.  I loved the Little House series,  Louisa May Alcott, and Caddie Woodlawn, but missed many more than I read.  Fantasy wasn’t a first choice for me as a child.  As I have been homeschooling my children, I find myself delving into the books that I missed.  Two years ago I read The Chronicles of Narnia with my daughter.  

I think I was shocked at the use of magic in what is a Christian series by a Christian author.  Last summer I read Inkheart with my youngest.  Again, the use of magic was apparent, but the books weren’t labeled as Christian.  Looking back, many of the books I have read to my daughter had mythical creatures and/or magic in them.   Personification seems to be very routine, and the magic that occurs in novels is often second nature.  Many times, I don’t even think about it.

I loved Narnia.  I loved this alternate land, this alternate reality.  To me it symbolized the spiritual battle that we cannot see, that happens all around us every day.  It is a battle of good against evil, Jesus versus Satan.  I sometimes think, what if we could see the battle?  How would that change our perceptions?  How would it change our actions?  Would we react differently if we saw the times we were protected supernaturally, and often unknowingly?  Would we react differently to the lies whispered in our ears if we saw who was doing the whispering? Would we fight differently if we saw power released when we prayed?  The greatest discouragement comes from feeling powerless, as if our prayers and actions are meaningless and ineffective.

But still, the witchcraft that seemed to be the crux of Harry Potter deterred me.  

As I studied Children’s Literature for a college class, I looked at fairy tales and fables.  I began to learn about the tools of literature, as symbolism, not reality.  Magic is prevalent in children’s literature from ages past to present, even Christian literature.  C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were both Christian writers, famous for their imagery and the representations of the Bible, and magic is used liberally in their stories. 

I picked up the book, What’s a Christian to Do With Harry Potter, by Connie Neal.  I wanted to understand the draw.  The books sit on the shelves of some of the strongest, most dedicated Christians I know.   What is it about this boy studying witchcraft and sorcery can be made okay when lined up against Scriptures that day to stay away from these things?

As I read the Connie Neal book, I learned some things that I didn’t know.  I delved more deeply in the use of magic in literature as a tool to symbolize the battle of light versus dark.  I learned about other books that are usually accepted, but that also have witchcraft or Biblical “issues.”  Dickens' A Christmas Carol, for instance, has Scrooge communing with the dead and spirits.  Did I never catch that?  

I think it was that Harry Potter talks of “spells” that threw me.  I mean, there was a spell book.  I didn’t want my child thinking she could cast spells.  THAT was too much!  Um...  no.

Connie Neal has a section in her book where she brings out some facts about the life of Daniel from the Old Testament.  I knew Daniel had lived in a very pagan nation, a captive of Nebuchadnezzar.  I guess I never realized that Daniel was considered chief of the magicians, enchanters, astrologers, and fortune tellers. (Daniel 5:11-12). Daniel’s power was from God.  He never dabbled in the occult, but he studied their literature.  He was trained in their schools with those that did study those things.  But Daniel remained faithful to the One true God.  Knowledge didn’t bring occult worship.

My daughter still found a way to read the Harry Potter books, despite me not wanting her to.   She loves the Lord deeply.  So what was I missing?

I realized that I could read Narnia and other books with magical elements and not think twice about it, but Harry Potter was different for me because I had experienced a negative situation concerning something to do with the books.  In all honesty, my daughter was an advanced reader, but emotionally, she was not ready to read the Harry Potter books at that time.  

Later, when she was older, she could see them for what they were: engaging tales of light versus dark, good versus evil.  

My youngest is now wanting to read the books.  Torn, I knew that I needed to make a decision not based on fear and presumption, not based on other people’s opinions from articles, but based on actually reading the books for myself.

Last week, at a resale shop, there was the first Harry Potter book in paperback.  I bought it and read it for myself.

And...  I enjoyed it immensely.

Yes, there is magic.  Yes, there is a school of wizardry.  Yes, Harry flies on a broomstick.  But in Narnia’s The Dawn Treader, Lucy reads from a spell book, and I never thought it was “occultist.”  And so, I have had to accept that there is a difference between reading a book with magic in it and delving into the occult.  The symbolism in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was too great to ignore.

Harry, living a life for years in oblivion to the alternate world that exists.  Isn’t that the way most of us live, unaware of the spiritual world we can’t see?  His eyes opened, Harry is chosen.  Aren’t we that love God chosen by Him?  Then comes Hogwarts...  school... training.  It seems similar to discipleship and studying the Word of God to learn how to be what God has called us to be.

Hogwarts is full of petty rivalries and alliances.  I have found the same in church, and been wounded by those “in my house.”  Learning to deal with others, even when they do wrong or hurt me, has been a true battle. Harry deals similarly with not only his peers and teachers at Hogwarts, but also with his terrible Aunt, Uncle, and cousin. We might run into a few Dursleys and a Draco Malfoy in our lives.  

I haven’t read the second book... yet.  I do believe I will preview the books, one at a time.  I have agreed to let my youngest daughter begin the series.  We are listening to The Sorcerer’s Stone on Audible together.  I want to discuss the book, especially the ideas of literary use of magic versus actual occult participation.  Mostly, I don’t want to make these decisions based on fear.  I have made too many decisions in my life based on fear, and that is not Godly.

There are going to be messy books, just as life can be messy. I can either approach from fear or from faith.  There will definitely be books that I don’t want my children to have anything to do with.  I think that is different from messy books that leave us having to answer tough questions.  I need to answer the tough questions. 

I may be late to the “Quidditch” game, but I am still a “seeker” wanting truth. (Ha ha...  corny, I know.)  I am reading, a book at a time, prayerfully, as I dig into the most popular book series in years.

Christmas Break is Nearly Here!

Megan is finishing her her school lessons this week before we break for Christmas Vacation.  Laura finished her work last night so she could be free today.  Then we will have a couple weeks for a break.

A break from formal studies doesn't mean that learning ends.  One of the reasons I am studying Library Science in college is because one of the main core values is promoting lifelong learning.  According to the American Library Association:

"ALA promotes the creation, maintenance, and enhancement of a learning society, encouraging its members to work with educators, government officials, and organizations in coalitions to initiate and support comprehensive efforts to ensure that school, public, academic, and special libraries in every community cooperate to provide lifelong learning services to all."

When I thought about what my core values were, after my faith, it is lifelong learning.  Homeschooling has taught me that we should never stop learning.  I have learned so much from teaching my children... things I never learned in school!  I don't know if I would have been confident enough to go back to college after twenty-five years out of school if I hadn't been learning and studying for the last decade in preparing lessons for school and church and researching how children learn.  These areas made me more certain that learning should never stop. 

My faith has taught me that study is a form of worship.  Learning about God and the world He created has grown my faith.  As I have learned, when we pray we speak to God.  When we study, God speaks to us.  And God did not create out minds to rust.  He created our minds to continually grow.  This is why we can keep learning for life, not just when we are children.

This is why different experiences are important.  Different experiences grow our brains in new ways, in ways that expand horizons.  A break from formal studies doesn't mean that experiences stop.  It means that learning is different. 

I often find that the more relaxed atmosphere of a break can help create more opportunities to learn. There is more time to spend in the Word of God.  Time is available for more free reading.  We do more hands-on things at Christmas time, such as baking and crafting.  We also make memories with family and friends. 

When we do go back, we are refreshed and ready to tackle the next semester.  Even more, we have used our brains in different ways. 

Still Homeschooling?

Occasionally I run into people I haven't seen in a few years.  They always seem to ask, "Still homeschooling?"



"Yes."  I state without apology.

When I first began homeschooling, I felt like I had to justify my reasoning.  I no longer feel the need to explain my reasoning or why my husband and I have made the decision we have made.  Some will agree.  Others won't.

My girls back in 2008.

Year after year, I stick with it.  Homeschooling is simply a part of our family now.  It is a part of our family culture.  It is what we do. When I first began homeschooling, I wrote a blog post that listed some of my reasons why.   The last one on the list was, "I homeschool because God put it in my heart to do this and I need to be obedient even though it isn't always an easy task."  It still isn't an easy task.  I have learned many things over the years.  My reasoning has changed somewhat in some areas.  Experience has been a good teacher.  Each year I don't have to come up with a list of why I homeschool. I simply keep doing so.  When I compare the list I made back in 2008 with how I feel today, I am astounded at how little changes in my reasoning make a big difference.  I am also surprised by how much has stayed the same.

My First Homeschooled Daughter in 2008

(When I wrote the list in 2008, I had five daughters under 17. Three were in public school.  One was only eighteen months old.  Eventually I would homeschool four of those five daughters.  As of 2017, two have graduated.  The "daughter" I allude to in the 2008 post is now in her last year of high school.  The eighteen month old is a ten-year old fifth grader.)

Reason 1:
2008 - I homeschool because I want my daughter to love Jesus, and to be free to love and learn about Jesus without feeling pressure to do otherwise.

2017 -  I homeschool because I want to be able to teach my children about Jesus, the Bible, and our faith without apology.

What's different? - I have learned that, while I want my children to love Jesus, this is a decision they must make for themselves.  They can't live on my faith.  I can set an example, teach them the way they should go, but they have the free will to make their own decisions.  I still create an environment where they can learn about the Lord freely.

Reason 2: 
2008 - I homeschool because she can learn about the world with a Christian worldview, not a sheltered worldview that keeps other theories from her. She will learn about evolution, but she will also learn that it is not a theory we believe. She will learn about her creator.

2017 - Still true.  I don't believe in a sheltered worldview.  I believe in age appropriate.  I also believe in teaching what they world believes, such as evolutionary principles, because this is not something my children can escape.  However, I still believe in teaching fully about young earth versus old earth, and why I believe the way I do.

What's different? - Essentially, if I have made them critical thinkers, my children will be able to make determinations for themselves and defend their position.

Reason 3:
2008 - I homeschool because my daughter was beginning to feel negative about herself, already feeling like she had to measure up to everyone else and be like them.

2017 - I still hope that the environment I provide at home will be nurturing and build up my daughters, not tear them down.

What's different? - I may keep my children from some of the pressures and negative social aspects of public school, but I cannot protect them entirely.  The world will still try to tell them who they are.  To a large degree, my children might still compare themselves to others and find themselves lacking somehow.  I have learned that homeschooling may help, but it is not a cure-all or a protection against self-doubt.

Reason 4:
2008 - I homeschool because I get to spend quality time with my daughter any time I want to.

2017 - I don't regret one moment of the time I have had with my daughters that I have been blessed to homeschool.  This lesson was reinforced recently when I enrolled in college classes and was over- scheduled.  I was still here with my daughters, but I wasn't enjoying them because I was stressed out and overly busy.

What's different? - I am older and have more experience.  Three of my girls are grown.  The "daughter" I referred to in 2008 is graduating high school this spring.  Time goes by quickly, and I know the memories we made together are priceless.

Reason 5:
2008 -  I homeschool because I know what Laura is learning, how she is treated, and that she is safe.

2017 - If anything, since 2008, I not only still believe this, but feel even more strongly now.

What's Different? - Bullying, school shootings, suicides...  these things seem to be on the rise.  I know that perhaps the media shows these things more often, but the fact remains that it happens.  It happens often.  At home, my daughters can learn without the fear that they will be bullied walking to class.  I dealt with a lot of bullying, and even assault, when my older children were in public school.  It may happen other places we go, but I don't fear that my children will face it in their learning environment.

Reason 6:
2008 - I homeschool because I can make sure Laura is working at the pace for each subject that ensures she knows what she is doing and works best for her.

2017 - After several years of homeschooling, tailoring an education for a child has become something I feel is vital.  I homeschooled one child that came to me with an IEP from her public school.  She did well at home.  I know my husband struggled with undiagnosed ADHD as a child, and the school wasn't equipped to help him.

What's Different? - I know my youngest battles ADHD as well, and most schools would insist she be medicated. At home, I can find ways to fit the learning to her, instead of trying to get her to adapt to the learning.  She can work at her level, mastering one level before moving on to the next level.  In many ways, this works so much better than the school methods.

My 12th grader that was my first student in 2008.

Reason 7:
2008 - I homeschool because God put it in my heart to do this and I need to be obedient even though it isn't always an easy task.

2017 - God has never told me that He has a new plan for me.  He has never taken away the desire to homeschool my children.  The task is still challenging.  It still requires that I lean on Him.

What's Different? - After all these years, I have seen God walk me through tough times.  I have gained experience in teaching children and seeing what works and what doesn't.  I have seen how God walks with me and guides me in choosing curriculum and tackling subjects.  The difficulty of the task hasn't changed God's mind in what He has asked me to do.  I still must be obedient.

My daughters today. 

Have We Lost Our Reading Culture?

Nearly everywhere I go, I take a book.  In fact, I choose my purses based on if they are big enough to fit a book or my Kindle inside.  Reading has been an escape, a comfort, and a passion since I was a child.

As a homeschooling family, reading is what we do.  We read a lot.  My step-daughter never loved reading.  When she began homeschooling after years and years of public school, I think she was surprised at all the books she was assigned.  Before she graduated, she read more than she ever had.  

Lately, I have noticed that I don’t read as much as I have in the past.  Yes, I am reading for college, but I also noticed that my go to is not picking up the book.  I am usually simply scrolling away on social media.  This is a bad habit that is pointless most of the time.  It’s amazing how often I’ll grab my phone and click the Facebook or Instagram button before I even engage my brain.  Habits form easily, especially addicting ones.

If I’m not mindlessly scrolling, I’m mindlessly vegging in front of a television.  After working for hours on college courses, I tend to turn on a favorite TV show and passively pass the hours engaged in a crime drama.  Sadly, I have seen most of the shows numerous times and am binging on reruns on Netflix. 

I’m not alone in any of this. The average American watches five hours of television per day!  If we combine television viewing, gaming, smart phones, tablets, computers, and any other screens, the average American devotes ten hours and thirty-nine minutes to screen time every day!

It stands to reason that we aren’t reading because we are distracted by entertainment.

What else are we not doing when we are drowning in our screens?  Are we spending time with our loved ones?  Are we spending time with God?  It stands to reason that devoting ten hours a day to anything is going to have consequences.  Maybe our relationships are suffering because we are otherwise absorbed in our screens instead of being together.  Maybe we have become Biblically illiterate because we buy Bibles, and place them on our shelves.  We aren’t reading them. 

Why is it that twenty-one percent of U.S. adults read below a fifth grade level?  My ten year old is in the fifth grade.  This statistic means that 21% of the adults around me are reading at the level of my ten year old...  or worse, because she is an advanced reader.

I love the podcast, Read Aloud Revival.  Sarah MacKenzie, the host and author of the blog by the same name, has breathed fresh air into the importance of reading to our children.  Recently she hosted a podcast discussing tips and ideas for moms to find time to read for themselves.  There were plenty of reasons why this is important, but the number one reason was that, when a child sees parents reading for enjoyment, they will likely follow suit. 

If the average American is glued to a screen for over ten hours a day, chances are we aren’t modeling anything except our addiction to screens.  We certainly aren’t reading to our children like we could or should.  And we aren’t growing the active parts of our own brains by vegging in front of the Boob Tube or mindlessly scrolling through the same ole Facebook battles and food posts. 

I won’t even get into what this sedentary life does to our health.

And so, when countries are listed in order of how much they read, and we see that the United States is way down the list at number 23, the fight over how to improve the school systems seems self-explanatory.  There is nothing better we could do for our children than to read to them and make reading a priority for our children.  The list of benefits is remarkable!  

“I don’t like to read.”

Ah...  I have heard that often.  And I understand that reading isn’t everyone’s favorite activity.  This has come about because the purpose behind reading has changed.  Two hundred years ago, learning to read was important.  And not just learning to read, but being literate and informed.  Learning to read meant that you could study the Bible.  Learning to read meant you could learn anything you desired to learn.  Reading was important.  It was how people stayed informed of the news in the world.  There wasn’t a television with thousands of channels to tell you what was happening (or to sensationalize for ratings).  There were books and newspapers. 

Somehow, reading has been relegated to a hobby, instead of a way to grow the brain and learn about the world, we simply turn on the screen and have those that profit most from those screens tell us what to think.  Then we wonder why the world is in the condition it is, and how to stop the chaos. 

Reading promotes multiculturalism.  Those that read are more empathetic.  Reading increases attention.  

I wish our culture was a reading culture, but I can’t change an entire culture.  I can only influence the world around me. I can read to my daughter.  I can make it my habit to grab a book instead of my smart phone.  I can supply my home with a wide array of books and plenty of trips to the library.  I can encourage my other children in their reading and have them read engaging and God-honoring books and materials for school.  

I can promote reading to others.  I can share the works of Sarah MacKenzie and Jim Trelease and others that are telling the benefits of this amazing reading culture that our families can have.  I can continue that work by training to work in a library, as I am doing now.  This way, when my homeschooling days are complete, I am still working to promote this wonderful passion: reading.

Dear Jesus...

Dear Jesus,

Lord, could you bless that girl above?  Could you heal her?  I know, I know, I have asked many times.  Seems we've been in this place in the past.  I know that, if I waited until I was perfect or she was perfect before asking, I would never ask.  But You are perfect. You alone, and Your thoughts are higher and Your plans are good.  So, when the hard happens... again...  when life doesn't make sense...  again...  when a young woman is sick and has been sick for so long and it's a battle every day to keep going, we need You.  We need Your good.  We need Your peace.  We need Your hope.

I have pleaded for answers for a long time.  Answers were supposed to come after one of the myriad of tests ran in the last year.  Answers were supposed to come with relief and praise report, not another battle and more questions.

I would so take her place.  I always would have.  I keep telling myself that I won't drive myself crazy asking why.  But there are weak moments when I do.  Why do I have children that face life-threatening issues?  Why my family?  Why my daughter, so ill, with tubes and monitors and pain and fear?  So, the "whys" circle in my brain and I push them down. I cast them aside, and they come back.  I turn on praise and worship music that calls you the anchor in the "eye of the storm", the "King of the World", "my God through all of it."  

What I feel the most, as uncertainty and frustration flow through me, is how broken I am, how weak, how utterly helpless to help my child, and how desperate.  Can the weak be used?

"Now I'm just a beggar in the presence of a King.  

I wish I could bring so much more.
But if it's true You use broken things
Then here I am Lord, I'm all Yours."

But I am so flawed. I think thoughts that aren't fair to others.  Such as...  Do other parents know how blessed they are?  Do they see their children, their healthy children, and know how precarious that health can be?  One diagnosis, one doctor that wasn't properly trained, one "rare complication;" and it can all change.  Lord, forgive me for seeing other parents with healthy children, hearing them complain over the trivial, and being frustrated with them... and perhaps envying them a little.

I so love my children.  I don't know why You chose my girls to face what they face. I can't see the final tapestry, only the tangles and knots on the back. I can't make sense out of what seems senseless, especially since it probably won't be made clear while we are here on this earth.  I'm just a mom, begging once again for her child to be made whole.  

Each time I beg, I step with You.  More than once I have begged for them to live, sitting on the side of a hospital bed, a bleak diagnosis from a doctor ringing in my ears.  Every time you have given me my child.  And despite feeling frustrated with parents who don't realize they are so blessed, I also wouldn't wish any parent to feel that heart-aching, paralyzing fear for their child.

Yes, there are a lot of "I"s in this.  My apologies, Jesus, for I know the focus should be on You. 

See...  I understand the temptation to walk away, to be so crushed with heartache or fear that you feel abandoned.  I understand the anger coursing through the veins at the injustice of it all.  I understand those that question, but haven't had all props removed with only You left to lean on and cling to.  So even as I cry out, begging, weak and small, I have found You in this place before, and believe You will meet me here again. 

I pray for my child, not me. I pray for answers.  I pray for strength.  I pray for healing.  Most of all, I pray because...  is there any hope without You? 

Sugar and Sin

I wrote this post on my other blog.  I wanted to share it here because I believe this is an issue that impacts so many.

I'm cutting sugar out of my diet.

My body has been acting up lately, as it tends to do with autoimmune disease.  Once you have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, the chances of developing another one rise dramatically.  That is why many people that are diagnosed with one disease, over time, develop and are diagnosed with a second or third or more.  It is discouraging.

But, I want to be an encouragement!  I believe that there are spiritual applications to many things in life.  I don't know exactly why I developed an autoimmune disease. Science hasn't pin-pointed exact triggers, and since there are over 80 autoimmune diseases, there could be multiple triggers. I simply know that God has a different path for me, and that means eating differently.

But, as a Christian, my path is supposed to look different.  And so is yours.  Your path is going to be different.  Too often we don't pay attention to the path we are on.  We are content to follow along with others, and that path can take us to places we never intended to go, to places that damage us.

Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.  Psalm 25:4

Eating and my walk as a Christian are similar in this aspect.  I ate the Standard American Diet... also known as SAD.  And yes, it is very sad.  I thought I was doing a good job.  I ate what the "experts" said was healthy.  I made sure my bread was whole grain.  My pastas were whole grain.  I bought brown rice.  I used the canola oils and the margarine.  I was told these things were healthy. But, through the years, I gained a little more weight here and there.  I felt worse and worse.  No one said my body didn't know the difference between grains and sugar, that my body converted carbohydrates to sugar in my digestive track.  No one told me that the synthetic oils were rancid on the shelf.  No one told me that everything I was told by the "experts" was wrong!  Eventually, I was sick, and the doctors took a long time to decipher why I was sick.


My gall-bladder went bad.  I developed vitamin deficiencies.  I gained more and more weight, and even switching my diet to what many new researchers said was healthy didn't impact me as much as I wanted.  It took years for the doctors to find autoimmune disease.  And, I can honestly say, that there are many days where it is hard to be different.  It is hard to eat differently.  Even in church, I am unique.  Having foods I can't eat is limiting, and others don't always understand.  Am I following a fad by not eating gluten?  Couldn't I eat just one slice of bread, one piece of pizza?  (To be fair, most are completely understanding.  There have only been a couple that don't understand.)

Life is like that.  We follow the path of many. It isn't until we have developed habits and thought patterns that are devouring our health that we realize that it isn't the correct path.  Jesus has a way.  Early followers of Jesus were called followers of The Way.  His way differs so much from the way of others... or it is supposed to.  And He may ask us to do things that seem odd, that make us different.  We will be different from others in the world, and we might even be different from those we worship the Lord with on Sunday mornings.  And many won't understand.  Is is a phase?  Aren't we too serious? 

Back to no sugar.

Sugar has been shown to increase inflammation levels in the body.  It is this inflammation that brings about heart disease and stroke, Alzheimer's, type-2 diabetes, and obesity.  This inflammation also causes autoimmune diseases to worsen, if it isn't a trigger for their development.  This inflammation destroys health.  It destroys lives.  It causes disease which leads to symptoms and complications and illness and death.

Sounds like sin.

Sin is compared to yeast in the Bible.  However, I like the thought that it can be compared to sugar.  Think of the comparisons!

Sugar is sweet and tasty.  It enhances to flavor of some foods, and is the flavor of treats.  It brings joy and is an integral part of celebrations and family memories.  It also is addictive.  It brings about severe highs and lows in the brain resembling bipolar disorder.  High consumption brings about many deadly diseases that destroy the body from the cellular level.   And yet, it is "natural" and is heralded as something wonderful.  When anyone attempts to tax items with high sugar or even put warning labels, the push back and outrage is aggressive.  The argument is that, even if it is killing people, even if the end result is costing the government billions each year, people should have the freedom to decide what they do with their bodies and lives.

As I have felt worse and worse lately, with muscle aches and insomnia increasing once again, I realized that I had to change something.  Gluten-free and thyroid replacement is no longer doing the job.  I need to attack the root of my problem.  I bought more supplements, ones that are supposed to decrease inflammation.  But I haven't noticed a difference.  I prayed and prayed for God to show me what else I could do.  I began walking again when the weather was nice.   Nothing seemed to be helping.  Then, during research on autoimmune diseases for a college English paper, I stumbled across information concerning sugar usage and inflammation.  One article lead to another, and then to documentaries, and I realized that this may be a big part of the problem.

Sugar.

If anything, eating gluten-free may have led to increased carb consumption because everything is made of rice, and rice is VERY high in carbs.  Also, with my hormone issues, I began craving sugary items.  I have went through several addictions, from root beer floats to Milk Duds.  This was obviously detrimental. And so, even as I ache, I would feed the sugar cravings.  I would eat the comfort foods, spaghetti or chicken alfredo, with the gluten-free pastas.  And the search for a delicious gluten-free pizza was long and expensive, but I was determined. 

In a way, we do similar things with sin.  We know that certain sins are big ones.  Murder, lying, stealing... these are a big NO.  We try not to curse.  We try not to gossip, though some don't try very hard with this one.  We try to be loving and forgiving.  But there are still, possibly, some junk that we struggle with.  Anger, pride, materialism, negativity, gluttony...  are these things even sin as we would normally classify them?   And yet, they insidiously destroy, from the inside out, a person's life and testimony, the same as sugar.  They cause inflammation of a different sort, a slow growing sickness, like cancer, that overwhelms a healthy Christian.

These lessons are ones that I feel are important to understand.  There is a payoff.  Sugar's payoff is the sweet satisfaction of taste.  It scientifically has been proven to be addicting, as it lights up the same pleasure centers in the brain as cocaine.  But, there are payoffs in anger.  Some actually get a high off their anger, even as the Cortisol and excess adrenaline eat away their body.  Each list has a pleasure payoff.  Pride - who doesn't want to be right?  Materialism - Can anyone feel the pleasure surge when they purchase that new thing?  Negativity - Ah, the rush of self-pity, the attention we crave, the way to release anger and feed a bad habit that literally changes our brains.  Gluttony - Well... is this not a physical, tasty, filling of stomach and soul?  We call is comfort food for a reason.

They are headed for destruction.  Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth.  Philippians 3:19

We are to master our bodies here on earth.  I'll be the first to admit this is difficult.  My body has felt out of control for years.  I try one thing and then another to take charge of my health, and it hasn't always helped.  I would walk or work out, and develop tendonitis.  I would change my eating habits, but then have to stop because my family ate differently and the cost was too much.  Sometimes I feel as if my attempts at health are like treading water in a hurricane.  I may be keeping my head above water enough so I don't sink, but I sure feel like I'm about to drown.  And I feel myself getting tired.

I can't cut out sugar in my diet without God.  Just like I can't cut out sin without Him.  He has to walk with me every step of the way, as I create another new normal for my life.  I tell myself that I'm going to "try" this, as if sugar-free is an experiment.  But the truth is that the science is pretty strong, and I know that this might be more than a "try" thing if I begin to feel better.

I think some people "try" Jesus, to see if they feel better.  But the truth is that Jesus isn't a temporary measure to see if He makes you feel happy.  He is the truth, the life, and the way.  Deciding to follow Jesus began the hardest times of my life, as I went though trial and troubles and had to learn to depend on Him.

There is power in a made-up mind.  Whether deciding to follow Jesus, or deciding to change my eating habits, I will flounder and fail if my mind isn't made up.  If I look at my struggles and those that don't agree with my decisions, then I will be unlikely to follow Jesus with my whole life, or even cut sugar from my diet.  As I have learned in my walk with Jesus, once He leads me to some victories in life, I am less tempted to turn back.  I am praying the same will happen as I cut sugar.

Cutting sugar shouldn't seem like such a big deal.  And yet, I know that in just the last few days, I struggled to figure out what to eat, what to drink, as I had intense cravings, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, and continuing muscle aches.  I hope to come out on the other side with what Jesus promises me over and over in His Word... freedom!

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