Is Feminine Allowed in the Modern World?

Three years ago I wrote a series on modesty that has been some of the most read posts on my blog.  I called the series Revelations of Modesty.  At the time, my older girls were teenagers.  Now, my older girls are adults, but I have two new teenagers.  Modesty has again become the issue we have had to delve into as a family.  My daughters are beautiful girls, and we want them dressed to represent Christ.  I also have my little Meggy, now seven, and still very much a princess.

My first post, Revelations in Modesty Part 1, I discussed a little of how the modesty issue had been brought to my attention and some of the confusion in my mind and heart. In Revelations of Modesty Part 2, I looked into a man's point of view and asked my husband some of the difficult questions.  It is the man's point of view, the point of view of a father, that as caused this issue to be brought to the forefront again in our home.  Daddy's girls are growing up, and Daddy sees things that the girls don't see or think about, but which he knows other men notice.

In Revelations in Modesty Part 3, I delved into the history of Women's dress with pictures.  It was eye opening for me to do that study and see that the most drastic changes in women's attire has occurred in the last 60 years. I was astounded to realize that women were not considered attractive in pants for most of history... by other women or by men.  In Revelations of Modesty Part 4, I talked about my own experiences with dressing modestly.  I felt that where God was leading me was important enough to write about.  I experimented a little, wearing skirts more often.  It was a relatively new experience for me since I had been the tomboy in jeans. 

Now... it is three years later.  My thoughts and feelings on the subject haven't really changed, but they have deepened.  Ironically, one of the influences that swayed my opinions on modesty and femininity wasn't a Christian avenue, but a secular one. 

I was watching TNT's The Closer (Amazon Prime has the entire series).  Over the years I had watched this show and enjoyed it.  I never really payed too much attention to the main character's clothing until I watched the seasons from beginning to end.   Kyra Sedgwick, playing Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson, portrayed a southern gal with a lot of brains and spunk.  She played a woman with education, intelligence, power, and a lot of training and excellence in a man-dominated field.  And yet, the character always was feminine.  She nearly always wore a skirt and blatantly feminine attire.  While this may have caused many to underestimate her, she was quite a interesting character.  Her character and the show were popular, not because she was perfect, but because she showed that a woman could still be feminine and pretty, even in a career that is male dominated.  I think both men and women want to see more of this, women that are women.  I give credit to Kyra Sedgwick for portraying a woman that was strong and feminine, without feeling that the two conflicted.

Aren't we past the time when the only way to compete in a man's world is to act and dress like a man?  I mean, if the woman's movement was about equal pay for equal work, more opportunity for careers and education, then we have come a long way.  But if the goal is to erase femininity, to blend the genders so that women lose something valuable and God-given, then we aren't gaining as much as we believe.  If we have to become something else to garner respect, to show that we have gifts from God, than what have we lost?

This influenced me because, so often, there is such criticism for ladies that dress more feminine.  I have personally come to love wearing skirts and looking more feminine.   I discovered, in my late thirties and early forties, that I love being a woman!  I love dressing like a woman.  I love exploring that side of me, a side that I closed off as a tomboy child and girl.  I love feeling feminine and pretty.  I am frustrated by a society that seemed to make being "girly" as less than.
Kyra Sedgwick is an actress, however.  It made for great TV to have the contrast of her feminine character in the world of men and cops.  She made the character, with all her quirks and mannerisms, a unique woman on television. She was far from Christian in her actions, I admit.  But still I was drawn because she was a beautiful woman that didn't dress "hot" to attract attention or "like a guy" to fit in.

Can we do that in the real world?  Can we be feminine and beautiful  AND CHRISTIAN without all the labels?  Will we be called legalists if we dress in beautiful dresses and skirts and distinctly feminine clothing?  Is Brenda Leigh Johnson only a character on The Closer, a TV show that is now over?  Or is she a representation of the feminine spirit inside many women?  How many of us want to dress in beautiful, feminine clothes, but don't because we know that others will criticize us?   Must we be working in an office to dress nicely?

I personally have reached an age where I don't care as much.  I love dressing in flowy skirts, and when I choose to, I do so.  I don't just wear them to church either.  Today, I did nothing more than go to Walmart to pick up cold medicine, but I dressed in a skirt.  Why?  Because it's nice outside.  I have spent the last three days in sweats, sick in bed.  Today, I wanted to not feel like a bum, but like a woman.  I wanted to feel the swish of the skirts around my legs.  I wanted to... and that is reason enough!