Revelations of Modesty part 1

Megan LOVES dresses!

My beautiful daughter Megan is a princess.  She wants to wear a "princess" dress every single day. She doesn't care if it's cold.  Pretty much any pretty dress is a "princess" dress,  though if the dress twirls, it's even better.  This phase began a year ago, and she has been a dress girl ever since.  However, this phase, along with some of the teaching I've been reading and studying, has gotten me to thinking and researching and asking questions.

Megan in her "princess" dress

Modesty is such a touchy subject.  The teaching I've had on modesty, even in church, has consisted of keeping certain areas covered... for the most part.  I come from a denomination where "legalism" used to be very prominent and abusive.  Women wore dresses all the time.  They couldn't cut their hair.  They didn't play cards or go to movies or dance.  Some sects of our denomination still hold to some of this, and some have broken away to more modern, culturally current views.

My younger girls in Easter dresses

As I get older, and as I spend more time with Christ, I realize that modesty is important.  I spent a year watching Little House on the Prairie with my family.  We saw the styles and customs of the time period.  The distinction between male and female was obvious.  Women worked hard, often just as hard or harder than the men, just to survive... and they did it all in a dress!   In fact, the one episode where a lady was wearing trousers, she looked totally out of place.

From my research, women primarily wore dresses until WWII, when many of them went to work in factories with their husbands off at war.  The dresses were getting caught in machines and were posing a danger.  The women began wearing overalls at work, but changing into their dresses when they were done.  Culturally, a woman wearing pants was not fashionable.  In fact, it was considered unattractive.  According to my grandmother, no one even thought about it much then.  Hollywood stars began wearing pants, and some of the women began to copy them.  

I guess I never realized that, in the 2000 or so years since Christ walked the earth, women wearing pants has only been a cultural norm for 50-60 years.  However, does that mean that wearing dresses is the only "right" and "Godly" thing to do? 

My grandmother as a young mother

I began to look at my family history.  My family line (on one side) consisted of preachers and evangelists.  The pictures of my grandmother in her earlier years showed her in beautiful dresses.  Then, throughout the years, things changed.  Churches watched the women change their dress to coincide with the current fashions.  Some of the churches didn't like the change, so they imposed rules about wearing pants.  Some churches still believe that wearing pants are wrong, and they sort of back it up with scripture and original Hebrew and Greek meanings.

As a woman, and as a mother of girls, I never really considered this issue.  I spent most of my life as a mom not following Christ.  Then, when I was finally saved, this issue wasn't really ever broached... even in church.  The few times it was even touched on, it was in a very negative light against "old fashioned, legalistic values".  We are a "blue jeans" family.  We rarely have worn dresses.  Each of my girls went through a dress "phase" as little girls, and then promptly grew out of it as they got older and began school.  None of the other little girls wore dresses all the time, so they didn't either. Dresses were saved for special occasions.  We didn't even wear them to church.  Dress pants were fine.  Then, even jeans were fine at church as long as they were nice and you added a nice shirt and shoes.

My grandparents, mom, and uncle in the early 60s

A preacher I heard once broached this issue in a conflicting manner.   He talked about how the values of the church in general over the last hundred years has blended with the culture, making it hard to tell the two apart.  For instance, the divorce rate in the church is currently matching or even a little higher than the divorce rate of those who don't go to church (of the world).  The point the preacher was making was that the church is not supposed to be so flighty, so compromising.  It's why we don't have much impact in society anymore, because we talk a good game, but we act just like everyone else.  In the eyes of many, that makes us worse than those who don't profess faith in Christ.

Jasmine, my blue jean girl

However, this preacher then went on to talk about being relevant, and how a lady with her hair in a bun and a dress to her ankles could still possess a seducing spirit. It seems to me that we either cling to a past and risk losing the ability to relate to others and win them to Christ, or we slowly compromise our own values in some areas, closing a blind eye to the other areas that are affected.   This is an issue that affects not only dress codes but preaching and music and parenting styles.

I would listen to this man's wife.  She is a beautiful woman that I watched on videos and heard in teaching tapes and read her books.  Then, she came to a convention.  She was still a great speaker, but I only noticed one thing... she was dressed in tight jeans with a flashy belt buckle.  She dressed like friends of my daughters that were trying to impress the boys.  It just struck me as confusing.  Like her husband, it seemed somehow contradictory.   Did I expect her to dress like my image of a 50 some year old woman when I was at the convention in jeans myself?  Was I being hypocritical?  Was it just the style of the jeans?  It really had little to do with  her wearing a dress, but how she presented herself.

The Blue Jean Family

In Bible times, men and women both wore robes.  Men wore shorter robes with pants (breeches) underneath that they could tuck the robe into when they needed to climb or run.  Women wore longer robes.  In many societies today, if a woman is required to wear a robe, we call it an oppressive society.  This, of course, is compared to our society where women show nearly everything and leave nothing to the imagination, where modesty is "old-fashioned" and swimsuits show more than underwear.  So, obviously, this isn't an issue that can be decided by any one person!  Some believe that wearing dresses is the only way to be modest as a woman.

Nearly forty years ago, a woman went home one night in slacks.  Her husband, believing that this was inappropriate and sin from how he had been taught, wanted his wife to wear dresses.  Instead of praying it through or doing any of the hundred things that would have been appropriate as a husband and wife, he beat her instead.  She left him the next day.  This is a true story, and it shows just how abusive the wearing "dresses only" rules of the past were handled in many denominations.  Now, the few denominations that believe in wearing only dresses for women take a lot of criticism because of the abuses that occurred.  However, even today there is some issues.  A young lady that has been staying with us homeschooled with a strict, conservative, "dresses or skirts only" family.  This young lady was totally turned off when this family was very judgmental about others that didn't believe as they did and discussed it in front of her.  In fact, because this girl wore pants, she was often treated in a negative manner.  This totally changed her opinion, not only of those people, but of God.

"God Looks on the Heart"

What do I believe?  This is an issue that, to my surprise, has gained some attention in my heart.  I have been led to read and study and see what the Bible says verses what I believe.  I have prayed and asked God to reveal to me how He wants me to glorify Him... which is the whole point!  I know that this is an area of growth for me.  Christ is concerned about our hearts, whether we are dressed in rags or in expensive finery.  If our hearts are wrong, it doesn't matter if we are wearing a dress to the floor and veiled, or if we are wearing a pair of jeans.

In my home mission field, I have a responsibility to guide my daughters in their dress, as well as honor God myself with my own appearance.  This is a growth area for me, as I asked God to open my eyes.  What I have noticed shocked me.  I'll report more on what God is telling me in an upcoming blog post.