Naturally Complicated?

In my time recently with God, I struggle against the thousand things that vie for my attention.  Often it isn't even children or the husband, though sometimes they interrupt.  Usually, what is trying to get my attention are the things I let get into my head and heart.  It is the fears I have for a child, the frustrations I am having with a situation, the overwhelming feeling I get when I think of my growing to-do list, it's....   Well, life is complicated.  Is it supposed to be?

I can feel God leading me to a simpler path.  Oh, that's easy to say.  I know.  But He revealed to me that even my thoughts are complicated.  I let them get complicated.  When everything is complicated, from finances to homemaking to my feelings, I won't ever be content.  Being sick last week, I could not do much.  I couldn't get out of bed.  I realized that I was desperate for a rest that would require more than sleep.

I used to think that I was naturally complicated.  Isn't that what we tell ourselves when life feels out of control?  Isn't saying that something is complicated the excuse we give when we don't want or understand how to simplify things? 

Satan is crafty.  He likes our lives complicated.  I think he sets things up to be complicated so that he can laugh at us as we stumble around trying to make sense of things instead of focusing on God.  We're busy... which is complicated. 

I asked myself how things got so complicated, and realized that I was raised this way. Maybe it was watching the drama unfold on television as a child and seeing it also unfold in my life.  A continual soap opera is not going to lead to a simple, calm life... whether it is lived or just watched daily on the television.  Goodness knows that I have done that too.

I think if things are going to be simple, we have to make them that way on purpose.  We have to keep things uncluttered.. and I don't just mean our material things, though that has become a big deal too.  We have to keep our thought lives uncluttered.  We have to keep our schedules simple.  We have to keep our motives pure and simple.  We have to keep our social networking simple.  We have to keep our ministries simple.  We have to keep our homeschooling simple.

I want a simple life.  Complicated has been, well... exhausting and hurtful.  I don't want to have to worry about a bunch of stuff anymore.  I don't want to stress about everything anymore.  I just want things to be simple.  I have learned that I am not superwoman.  I can't keep up with everyone and everything.  I have a life that God has given me full of blessings, and I can only do my best.  I can't fill everyone else's needs.  I can only ask God to help me to be there for those He leads me to.  I can't make others understand my point of view.  It's complicated to try to convince others when they choose to not see.  I can only live out my convictions and pray.

A simple life requires a lot of trust in God.  It requires a lot of faith.  It requires being content with less.  We are blessed in this country, and most of us don't even realize how blessed we are.   As much as I have struggled lately, I do see that God has His hand in my life, guiding to me purposely to decisions that can be hard to make.  Simplify.  God did not make me naturally complicated.  Satan brought that into my life.