 |
| Relaxing on this mild summer evening. |
I have had a day of forced relaxation. Why forced? Because I woke up not feeling well and knew I needed a day off. I have been going so fast for a couple of weeks. I am sad that I am missing tonight's performance of Oklahoma, but I plan to be there tomorrow night.
I've spent the day reading and praying (and napping). Besides running my daughter to play practices non-stop, I have been working steadily on decluttering our home and getting rid of a lot of stuff. I've given away and donated a pickup truck load of stuff. I have more waiting to be hauled away. It's become sort of like a driving passion, to get rid of unnecessary stuff and clutter.
For years "things" have been something that I desired. Sometimes it was a small thing, like a new necklace. Sometimes it was a huge thing, like a house. I always played the comparison game, even if only in my own heart and mind, and I always came up short. I couldn't compete. Close friends and family easily made more than my husband and me. I didn't take into consideration the fact that they often had one child while I had five, or they were dual income families and I chose to stay home and homeschool. I just felt that I didn't measure up. My children didn't have the fancy Christmas mornings. My husband and I couldn't afford the trips or the nicer homes.
Despite the fact that I blew it off and told myself that it wasn't important, it still bothered me. I felt like I had failed because our working class life didn't measure up to the solidly middle class ones I compared myself with.
God tends to take me on journeys to show me things about myself, my heart, that need some work. A few weeks ago, in my genealogy research, I unlocked a mystery that had perplexed me. In looking for the roots of some ancestors, I discovered they were Amish. I've always enjoyed learning about the Amish and their simple life, so this connection fascinated me.
From Amish research and history, I came upon simple living blogs and articles. I am no stranger to these, as they tend to be popular in homeschooling/homesteading circles. One link led to another, and suddenly I was reading minimalist blogs.
Minimalism?
I mean... That's not for me. Right? I don't have a lot of "stuff." I just have three children in an apartment. We homeschool. Stuff happens, right? Isn't it simply a fact?
As I read, I became intrigued. More and more I wanted to ditch the stuff and be content... Maybe for the first time ever.
For a couple years now, since I read Radical by David Platt, I have wanted to downsize. As I researched and read, I realized that minimalism... or simple living... brought the teachings of Jesus to life. I understood some things for the first time.
For two weeks I have been eliminating. I don't know what the end result will be, just that it makes sense to me. My heart is changed. We drive through a couple very beautiful and expensive neighborhoods on our way to church. I always admired the houses. Last week, as I drove through, I suddenly felt that they were not for me at all. They were still beautiful, but who needs a home that large? Most families only have one or two children. It seemed wasteful to me.
As I go through this process, I am shocked that I was jealous for even a moment of others. Over nicer stuff? A bigger, fancier home?
I feel as if God has set me on an adventure. I am by no means a minimalist. I have too many books and pictures. However, this is a journey. God could do some crazy things. I'm still slowly purging and praying and wondering where this road will lead.
Some day I wonder if I'll look back on this time as a pivotal point in my life. My husband has been happy to get rid of stuff, as he has always been a more simple kind of man. He would live with very little, and was before we met and married. I think he is liking whatever God is doing.
One of my favorite phrases has become, "Fill your life with experiences, not things. Have stories to tell not stuff to show."
Yes... I agree.
I am looking forward to creating the stories...
No comments:
Post a Comment