The Direction of God

With school beginning in a couple days, the push to finalize a schedule and get everything in order has begun.  Yet, I find my goals for this year a little different than before.  No longer am I striving to try this method or that method.  For now, that anxiety filled time of experimentation is over.  Instead, I am excited to get the girls focused on their studies.  I see God refining the direction of our homeschool and of our family.  I see him working in the lives of my family members, though some days it isn't easily seen (Ha, Ha). 

My personal walk with God has been somewhat sporadic this summer.  I've had an hour here and there of time with God, but not anything consistent.  I truly believe consistency is the key in many areas of life.  That includes a walk with Jesus.  I have scheduled in personal time with the Lord each day.  It may not be hours, but even half an hour every day truly help.

I sense the direction God is leading me is deeper than I thought.  He wants me to be close to him, and I've neglected that area.  Distracted by the busyness of life, by emotions that I have let rule me, by crisis management of our home; I have felt myself slowly just lose any focus I might have had.

God seems to be attempting to get me more centered on Him and on my family.  I understand that ministry is wonderful, but the attention to it and the stress that has gone with it has affected me in some very negative ways.  I get frustrated easily when I feel burdened by doing, doing, doing for others (both in church and even in my home) when they don't appreciate any of my efforts. Sometimes I wonder why I am doing the things I am doing.

God showed me that I should create some goals... for myself, for my family, for my ministries.  You see, I've been floating for far too long.  If I have no destination, I can guarantee I'll never get there.  Oh, there are some hazy goals... get out of debt, serve God, homeschool my children.  These goals aren't specific.  There is no plan as to how I want to do these things.  They are still just nice ideas I want to accomplish one day.  God has me wanting to be specific. 

My husband and I have come to the stark realization that we have made many mistakes in our family and lives.  We knew this when we accepted Christ, but I guess we thought the journey would be different.  This journey with Jesus has taken us to very different areas than we planned.  If there could be a mistake in a Christian walk, I think we've made it.  We have over-extended ourselves with serving our church at times to the point where our family has not been a priority.  We have also allowed ourselves to get hurt at church by various people and events instead of trusting in God to handle things as we serve Him.

With the new school year beginning on Monday, I can easily see that I have to keep my heart attuned to God and my focus on what he wants for us.