"She Won't Work For Me"

There are so many excuses parents have for not homeschooling. I've had many conversations with my step-daughter's mother. My step-daughter has been diagnosed with a reading comprehension learning disability as well as ADD. She is a wonderful, sunny, fun girl that just has problems in school. I think she'd benefit enormously from homeschooling. However, her mother has other issues with the idea.

First, my step-daughter, Jasmine, doesn't like to do her homework for her mother. Often, she is either slow to get her work done or she just outright complains and gets upset about it. Her mother feels like it is a constant battle, and that because of this she could never homeschool her daughter. Sadly, though we get along, she doesn't want to let me homeschool her daughter. I think it's more about having professionals teaching her than anything else. She honestly believes that the school is more equipped to handle a child with learning disabilities than a mom could be.

I've tried to express that homeschooling is different. First, when a child comes home with homework, they have already had a full day. If they are working over the weekend, they are frustrated that they have to work on what should be time to just be a kid. Jasmine goes to school in the morning, works all day, goes to tutoring for an hour four days a week, and then usually has an hour or two of homework on top of all that. Of course she's combative. Of course she gets tired and doesn't want to do the work.

She tries so hard to keep up with the kids in her class. She struggles. She is in tutoring because she does so well with the one on one attention. Without the tutoring, her performance in school would have been a lot worse. As for the standardized tests, these have been a nightmare for her. She doesn't pass them. Even if she understands what is being asked, she often has a hard time getting the answers on the paper in the time allowed. Just knowing there is a time limit stresses her out and she gets flustered.

I've never seen a child work as hard as her, however. The work load in sixth grade has been enormous, even with extra help she is receiving. Jasmine just keeps plugging away doing the best she can. Ironically, she may not test well, but she is getting high grades. Her homework scores keep her other scores from pulling her down. Plus, occasionally, she is so well prepared for a test that she does well on it.

I think Jasmine would benefit so much by a homeschool environment. She would get one on one all the time for every subject if needed. I think, with her reading difficulties and comprehension issues, she would grow tremendously with a combination of being read to daily and having wonderful, engaging books instead of textbooks for her classes. I think she would blossom with activities such as experiments and timelines and a few craft projects to coincide with her studies. I think she would relax in a homeschool environment because she wouldn't feel she had to compete with the other students. She could just learn and grow and find things she is interested in.

I doubt she'll ever get the opportunity to homeschool. This isn't my decision to make. I pray that if God's will is for Jasmine to be homeschooled that she will be given the opportunity. I hope that we can give her a glimpse when she is here. Her father reads to her on nights she is here. Usually, he reads from the Bible or Bible stories. This coming summer, when she comes to stay with us for a few weeks, I want to begin to read the Narnia series with her and Laura together. I might even begin it early, and just read a chapter every time she is here. Since she'll be here for a week over Christmas we might get her hooked on a wonderful adventure story.

Other than that, we do our best with her homework to get her engaged in it. However, she shows many of the typical signs that she doesn't enjoy learning new things. To her, it is boring. With the way the public school teaches, I am not surprised.

I'm sure there are other reasons why Jasmine's mother wants her to remain in public school. I know that, living in a rural area, the opportunities to be in sports or music programs is limited if not in the public school. However, I don't think that is the case entirely. Softball and Soccer are both outside of the school system for younger kids. There are music classes you can pay for, lots of camps at the local college, and the theater program for kids in the summer in the town about 15 minutes away. Some of these things are free or cheap. There are things to do, you just have to look for them and maybe put in a little more effort than you would in public school.

For those that are serious about wanting their child to succeed in schooling and with Christ, there are ways. The "She Won't Work For Me" excuse is, sadly, just an excuse for those that are either intimidated by homeschooling or too dependent on the public school children to do the job that often would be better done by a parent. Now, there are those that should not homeschool. I agree with this. However, some of the reasonings people give to me just sound hollow.

I do know that often the public schools discourage parents from homeschooling, actually making the parent feel that they wouldn't be able to do a good job. It takes a strong parent to stand up against this view from "professionals" and do what God has led them to do.