What if something should happen that I can't homeschool? What if my kids should have to go back to public school? What if this and What if that? Sound familiar to anyone?
I think we all think this way to some degree. Any parent that is concerned enough about thier child's education to homeschool usually is concerned that something could happen to end homeschooling for them. I don't want to think that some catastophe could befall our family, but reality is that it could happen. Then a whole new set of questions arise?
Will my child be behind the public schooled students?
That's the number one question. Will my child be able to go back to school and not be lagging behind educationally for some reason? It's one thing to read and believe that Ruth Beechick is correct in her view of grammar. It is another to drop grammar instruction of your fourth grader until she's a teenager.
It's one thing to want to take the 'natural' route of copywork and dictation for handwriting and spelling. It's another when your child has only ever done 'traditional school'.
Slowly, the longer I homeschool, the more comfortable I am getting with these approaches. It takes time and putting the new methods to work long enough to see results. I'm taking things one step at a time. With the copywork I've done, I haven't really noticed much in spelling improvement, but I have noticed a definite improvement in Laura's handwriting.
Some things come a little easier. For instance, I love to read. Ditching the textbooks in favor of living books is not difficult. It's easy to see the benefits of reading aloud when you love to read and know all the knowledge that books hold. Even then, however, you wonder if you are doing enough.
Workbook curriculums provide a safety net for those, like me, that sometimes hold a fear that my child needs 'school'. When we began school in August, I felt like a total failure because it felt like my child had forgotten EVERYTHING we had done last year. I turned to the workbooks because they measure for me the progress my daughter is making. It's the "What If " factor in overdrive.
Ironically, I love homeschooling and have no desire to send my children back to school. Yet a part of me wants to know that if that need should ever arise, my child would be able to succeed. I know I'm doing too much at this point. I'm trying out this and that, all the while trying to stick with the other methods as my back up. The thing is that I'm driving Laura and myself crazy. Laura doesn't like the pressure and neither do I. It's not healthy for either of us. I need a solid system that eases my fears and still gives me the freedom to do things the way I want. So far I haven't found that with any pre-packaged curriculum. I don't think I will.
I keep experimenting with different methods. I've learned a lot, both about my teaching style and about Laura's learning style. Here we are in year two of homeschooling and I kind of feel like I'm at a point where I have to make some strong decisions. I don't want to waste my time doing things that aren't going to be beneficial. I don't want to teach with a method I hate. I don't want Laura to hate learning. I want her to LOVE it. I want her to love to learn and to read. I want her to have a thirst for God and for the world He created. I also want to get over this fear of the "What If " factors.
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