Just a Twinge

Report cards came out for the public schools this week. Usually I don't pay attention except where my own children are concerned. This year, however, I have Facebook. Two posts brought a twinge to me for a minute. One post was from the mom of one of my nine year old's friends. The other post was from the mom of one of my 16 year old's friends. Both of the moms were bragging about their child's grades on their status.

I'll be honest. For a brief instance I felt lacking for some reason. I don't know if it is because my kids are home and neither of these two mothers have been very supportive of homeschooling. My kids don't have traditional report cards that can be bragged about. In fact, most of the time, I wonder if they are learning like I want. Insecurities and doubts plagued me for a brief bit.

Then I realized the truths that I often have to remind myself. My daughters are getting a Christian education. They are learning. I had to remind myself about all the benefits of homeschooling. I prayed and looked over my notes I took long ago listing those benefits.

It would be so easy to get my validation from my child's grades. It's tempting, even now, because grades are one of the measures of success in the world. My high-schooler gets grades for her homeschool work. She's doing wonderfully. I keep grades for her transcript, but I'm not sure I would keep them if I didn't have to. Colleges like grades, and I understand that. However, I'm not sure I entirely like them.

For Laura, I don't keep them. Oh, I grade her tests and things. However, with a mastering approach to subjects, if Laura doesn't do well on something she must work on it until she understands it and does well. There isn't room for low grades. She works on something until she understands it and can pass a test.

Of course I don't test on every subject. That is where narration comes in. If I don't believe Laura understands a topic we've studied when she narrates back to me or when she answers questions, then we study the topic some more. It's a different way of learning that just doesn't happen in public school.

I'm glad those children are doing well. It's tough sometimes not being part of the norm in our society. I know God has me on a different track than most. I know that he has my children on a different track. Most of the time I love that track. Sometimes it's lonely.