An Attack of Fear

Yesterday I was in awe of how God came through and provided my husband and I the opportunity to homeschool his daughter, Jasmine.  Today, we had a meeting with the lady that was in charge of my older daughter's homeschool.  We sat down and tried to hash out a course of action.  Care is being made to be as thorough as possible.  We know that we may have to answer to the courts one day, to show our progress.

It was at that moment that I got overwhelmed and nervous.

Seriously nervous!

Can I do this?  Am I capable of teaching a girl that has struggled her entire school history?  Can I teach a child that has been diagnosed with learning difficulties?

Everything seemed complicated and overwhelming when we were going through the plans for high school.

I prayed... QUICKLY!  Suddenly I was remembered the phrase that has sustained me through every new adventure God places me on.

God doesn't call the able, but enables the called.

God called me to homeschool years ago.  My fears come from the unknown, not from God.  My fears come from facing that courtroom yesterday, knowing everyone was against us, and asking for God to allow His will to prevail.  After all, the judge admitted he doesn't really believe in homeschooling.  Our lawyer said he didn't believe we stood a chance of getting permission.  And yet... we were given permission.

My fears come from the fact that I know that we will be watched and monitored.  Jasmine's mother will not hesitate to take us back to court if Jasmine is not succeeding.  That is a lot of pressure on Jasmine and on me.  I don't want to fail Jasmine, but knowing I'm being monitored is a scary proposition.

I am doing what I need to be organized in keeping records.  The rest, I will cover in prayer and take one day at a time.  If God led us to it, He'll lead us through it.