Ocean-sized Homeschool Questions

 

As an “experienced” homeschool mama, I find myself often asking the same questions I asked when I first began homeschooling twelve years ago.  Surely I should just “get it” by now.  But the same insecurities often come back to me during the more difficult days. 

Am I doing enough?

Am I doing too much?

Should I be more structured?

Should I be more relaxed?

Is there a magic curriculum that will just do its stuff and give me the desired results?

Should I stick with what I’m doing?

Is my child succeeding?

Question after question plague my mind some days and I wonder if I’m somehow failing my child.  Despite having twelve years of homeschooling experience and three graduates successfully managing adulthood, I still find myself questioning and reading and researching.  I pray and give it to God, and still wonder.  I read a little more and rinse and repeat.  

You see, I’m that mom.  I’m that mom that loves to research.  I’m that mom that never throws away materials that might one day come in useful.  (The boxes of books and curriculum in my garage attest to this fact.). I’m that mom that loves to meet with other homeschooling mamas and discuss what worked for them and what didn’t... and why.  I’m the mom, like many of us moms, that has a head full of ideas and hopes and dreams, but sees the tough days and all the questions in her mind as a personal reflection of where she might fail her child. 

And now I have another teenager.  

It was so much simpler when she was a little sprite that loved to dance to the Hooked on Phonics videos and sang her math facts as she wrote the answers in her messy, left-handed writing.  The days when fall leaves were a fascination and finger paints were a joy have faded. 

Now she wants to study oceanography.  I love the ocean.  I have lived by two oceans in my life.  I want her to be able to dive in (literally would be great) and learn to her heart’s content.  But we live in the Midwest.  My snowplow-driving hubby is on call tonight with a wintry mix expected.  Trying to find hands-on oceanic activities is a little challenging when the Atlantic Ocean is 866 miles away and the Pacific Ocean is nearly 2000 miles away. 

Yes, she has studied the ocean with her earth science studies, but she is missing the experiential aspect of learning oceanography.  The closest we come is Lake Michigan.  And while she may one day get to smell the salt water, collect shells on the shore,  and swim with dolphins; it won’t be in the next year. 

And so, the doubts enter in.  I doubt the reruns of Hawaii Five-O will substitute.  Am I insane for wanting to purchase books on oceanography, perhaps look up educational videos, but know she will be studying something that she can’t experience at this point in time?  And isn’t the earth science studies something that she needs to move past so she can meet the requirements for high school next year with biology and chemistry, etc?

I bounce back and forth between two trains of thought. I tell myself that we have studied centuries of history, but didn’t live at those time periods.  Just today we finished an advent book that dug into the birth of Jesus, studying the time period of Jesus’ birth and the Roman rule over Israel at the time.  We weren’t there.  We didn’t get to see Baby Jesus be born or experience the angelic host as the showed themselves to the shepherds.  And yet, I don’t feel as if I have failed in any way because I could only offer my child the wonder of Christmas without the experience of “being there.”  My goal was to emphasize the meaning of Christmas, to build up my daughter’s knowledge and love of Jesus.  We may not experience ancient Israel, but we do experience Christ.  Would I not be short-changing my child if I didn’t give her the wonder of the birth of Jesus?  Even if our minds have to imagine the young Mary, giving birth to her first child among stable animals?

Is it not the same with the ocean?  Beyond learning the basics, if my daughter is fascinated by an ocean she has never seen, shouldn’t I indulge her interest?  Will she not learn so much more about the world as it relates to many other areas of science if she studies oceanography?  Will she not learn about wildlife and sea creatures in her study?  Will she not go even deeper into weather by studying occurrences that happen over the ocean... like hurricanes and tsunamis and tropical storms? Will she not learn more about gravity and even space as she studies ocean currents?  Will she not touch on biology and astronomy and even some chemistry as she digs and studies?

Won’t she one day stand on an ocean shore and be able to smell the salt water, feel the coolness of the water on her skin, hear the waves crashing in a soothing rhythm, and be able to name the shells and plants and types of fish swimming in the shallow reefs? 

After all, she loves the writings of C.S. Lewis, but isn’t going to England this year. She can still imagine the country and switch into an English accent in a heartbeat.  She won’t be going to Narnia, but she still can learn the lessons Mr. Lewis so eloquently brought to life through his stories. 

These are the thoughts that swirl through a homeschool mom’s mind as she contemplates what to study next and if she should stick to the prescribed curriculum plans or venture on a side quest. 

Homeschooling means I can give my child the world, even if I can’t do so physically at this present time. Homeschooling brings options. And with those options come questions.  Sometimes those questions are small, like which phonics program to use for my creative, ADHD girl.  And sometimes those questions are the size of an ocean. 

It would be easy to just go with what’s next in the carefully chosen curriculum.  After all, I selected a curriculum that is quality, that meets college entrance requirements, that is academically sound but set on a solid Biblical foundation. Carefully laid plans can bring a path, a direction.  They can also shut doors on rabbit trails and curiosity.  

Homeschool moms (and dads) take on a huge responsibility when they decide to shoulder the education of their children.  And while the years of experience often bring the wisdom to discern what is busy work and what is relevant, sometimes in saunters doubts and questions.  For me, letting my child wander off the path to dive into her own interests was easier somehow when she was younger.

We spent nearly two years following passions.  My child’s interests in those two years were vast.  She studied horses, weather, volcanoes, Greek mythology, Harriet Tubman, the Underground Railroad, and anything else that caught her interest.  She devoured The Bobbsey Twins and American Girl.  She read nearly every Andrew Clements book in the library.  Together we read Inkheart and The Narnia series and Harry Potter.  I took a leap of faith and let her explore, let her learn what got her attention.  In typical ADHD style, her hyper-focus let her gain vast amounts of knowledge.  I could barely keep up with her as she devoured books and documentaries.  

But as high school nears, I find myself more hesitant to take that leap.  I find myself with those ocean-sized questions returning.  After all, doesn’t she need to be exposed to more than just what interests her?  Doesn’t she need more structure as she prepares for whatever God has for her future?  And don’t I want that routine, that knowing what’s next in the scope and sequence? Don’t the events of this past year prove to me that it isn’t just important but vital that my girl has a strong grasp of history and civics?  Haven’t we seen many examples students that have graduated with a poor understanding of history and socialism and the Constitution willing to make decisions about our country that causes more damage than good? And as a Christian, don’t I want my child to be able to think critically instead of just believing what is on the news or in a social media post?

How can deciding whether to veer from the science route be this big of a deal?  Having taken the road less traveled for those couple years of exploration, I know one interest often leads to other areas.  Will it just be a substituted science path?  Unlikely.  

My daughter at the moment also has developed an interest in Japanese anime.  She purposely chooses to watch the Japanese show with subtitles instead of the Americanized version.  Often she will walk into a room speaking phrases in Japanese that she has learned from what she is watching.  

But learn she does.  She has been taking Spanish for school; but because her interest is in Japanese at the moment, she has learned more of the Japanese language in a few weeks than the Spanish she has studied for months.  I know when a child is interested in what they are studying, he or she absorbs information like a dry sponge does water.  And I also know that if they are just taking the class because it’s expected and listed on the planner, the lessons might not be retained as well. Ironically, if someone else was in this situation and asked for my advice, I would tell them to let their child study the oceanography. I am actually a little shocked that I’m struggling with this, because I have read the science about how children learn.  I know following a natural curiosity leads to deep learning and a development of study skills that are unrivaled when compared with any other method. 

This year has been difficult.  Money has been tight.  I have had to plan very carefully in every area of our finances.  A set plan brings a comfort because I know it checks all the boxes.  The fact that I have a lot of the materials also is reassuring because I don’t have to worry about straining an already tight budget any further.  Even if I let go of what my plans say our homeschool would hold for the next year or so, I’m still bound by budget constraints. 

Ocean-sized questions mean I give the matter some ocean-sized prayer.  To all those homeschool mamas out there with similar questions about what path to take, know you are not alone. 

Sick Days

It’s been a rough start back to school with my daughter not feeling well.  She did some school yesterday.  Today, she slept until 11 and is currently laying in bed waiting for medicine to kick in and help her feel better.

Watching The Miracle Worker

But...  we’ll get to it.  I’m not going to push.  I’m not going to get frustrated by illness. It’s not in my control.  

A lifestyle of learning is about so much more than books and organized learning.  A lifestyle of learning will roll with the ups and downs.

Yesterday was actually a pretty relaxed learning day, despite the illness.  My daughter felt better after a fever reducer.  She did some reading and began to study Alabama.  She watched the movie The Miracle Worker, which was set in Alabama.  

For many reasons, this simple, delight-directed learning style brings me peace.  I find myself excited to explore my own passions as my daughter explores hers.  She is still going through her history rotation once or twice a week, but it’s scaled back quite a bit.  I want her to dig deep when it peaks her interest.  Not everything will.  My job is to expose her to different time periods, different ideas, and great literature.  My job is to make she she knows how to learn and to guide her through the tougher subjects or skills when they arise. 

Sick days come and go.  Realizing that I don’t have to be stressed out all the time, pushing all the time, has been eye-opening in all areas of my life, even homeschooling.  

The Pressure to Measure

It is in our nature to want to measure and evaluate, to have definite standards where we can line up growth and achievements on a chart or a scale, that we can then show the world or know exactly where we are succeeding or where others are lacking.  Babies are often evaluated by growth charts and given the percentile of their growth compared to other children their age.  They are also measured by when they achieve certain skills, such as when they roll over or crawl or walk.

In school, the same type of mentality exists.  The average first-grader should meet standards chosen by “experts” or they are considered learning disabled.  Often these experts will set standards that have nothing to do with what science and psychology says about child development. Earlier and earlier children are pushed and asked to do more and more in ways that unnatural for them.

For years I have been pushed and pulled in one direction and then another.  What is best?  I want my children to academically excel, but I also want them to grow at their own pace.  I have homeschooled now for well over a decade and graduated three students.  In those three children, I had some very unique learners.  None of them were exactly the same.  They didn’t learn the same way or have the same interests or personalities.  They didn’t excel in the same areas.  They each struggled in areas that came easy for others and soared in areas that others found challenging. 

One thing all of my three graduates did have in common was they spent some time in public school.  All three had been exposed to the “school mentality.”  They had been measured by those standards the experts chose.  Those standards changed multiple times through the years.  New testing was introduced, new benchmarks of achievement.  Each child, whether it was for three years or ten years, suffered in some way in the comparison-based, over-tested mentality of the public schools.  Even those that did well still felt the sting of a teacher that favored certain students and a system that, much like society, tended to focus on the squeaky wheels more than the quiet workers. 

Each child, when they came home to be homeschooled, battled that mentality that had so pervaded their thinking.  As a homeschool mom that was public schooled, I also fight that mentality.  It’s ingrained in the culture to think that testing and grades are the best way to measure success in a child.  Even though academic success does not predict career success, we have been led to believe that it does. 

Dr. Adam Grant stated the following in “What Straight-A Students Get Wrong”:

“Academic grades rarely assess qualities like creativity, leadership and teamwork skills, or social, emotional and political intelligence. Yes, straight-A students master cramming information and regurgitating it on exams. But career success is rarely about finding the right solution to a problem — it’s more about finding the right problem to solve.”

My youngest child never went to school.  She should be immune to the same way of thinking.  She isn’t.  She isn’t because it pervades culture.  It’s on every television show and game and YouTube video.   She isn’t immune because her mom, her main teacher, has battled so many fears that she is failing her child when her child struggles in an area due to her own pressures from public schooling.  My youngest child should be free, but she still gets grilled by strangers occasionally if she is outside during “school time.”  She still deals with others that believe a child that is homeschooled is inferior in some way because she isn’t in the school environment or being tested into oblivion to see how she measures up to those arbitrary standards set by the “experts.”  

It shouldn’t be easy to overlook her strengths, which are many, and see only the areas that haven’t clicked yet.  Those standards race through my head, and I see where she hasn’t met them...  not where she has exceeded them. And the truth is, the standards are arbitrary and she has more than conquered some of them.  So what?  

I shouldn’t be asking, “Am I failing her in this area?”  I should be asking, “Does she love to learn?”  “Is she curious?”  “Does she have passions where she loves to dig deep?”  “Does she love Jesus?”  “ Is she kind?”  “Has the light gone out of her eyes about learning?”

Often, too many of us, including me at times, will trade the positives just so we can fall back on human nature and our public schooled-mentality and measure everything.  I have had to ask myself, “Will I trade the light going out of my daughter’s eyes for me showing she has met standards I don’t even believe are healthy?”

It would be stupid to say yes, and yet so many of us don’t even realize this is what we have done. 

I had a conversation with another homeschool mom recently.  She was stressed about the areas where her children were struggling and trying to complete all of a curriculum.  In truth, she was afraid she was failing her children.  I wanted to hug her and tell her that I have done the same thing a million times, that I still fight the compulsion to do the same.  I wanted to tell her that curriculum is simply a tool.  She was afraid her kids would miss something vital if she skipped anything and she would regret it later. 

I have learned that it is impossible to learn everything you need to know before graduation.  It is more important to know how to learn what you need when you need to learn it.  It is more important to love learning and be a life-long learner, not just someone with a head full of stuff.  

To be honest, I don’t remember most of what I learned in school.  But, I’m a reader and a researcher.  If I want to know something, I can usually figure it out.  When I decided to research autoimmune diseases, I spent two years reading everything I could.  When I wanted to take my photography more seriously, I found free online courses, books, and played with my camera until I understood more.  When I needed to learn things for college that I had forgotten or never learned in the years since high school, I did what I needed and learned the necessary skills. This is how we naturally learn. 

And so, to my struggling homeschool moms... and to myself... I say, “Relax.”  Have some fun with your children.  Laugh.  Go on adventures.  Read together.  Pray together.  Break the tough stuff up... or put it off a bit until young minds have matured enough to grasp the concepts.  Be balanced in your thinking.  Remember your child’s strengths, not just the areas of struggles.  Be creative.  And most of all, know that God is still in control.  He knows the plan He has for your child.  

A Seamless Road of Knowledge

I was caught by the quote:

“Each student simply moves up a seamless road of knowledge at whatever rate of progress his abilities and study habits permit.”  - Art Robinson

Could it be so simple?  

For a long time now I have not liked “grade levels.” I even blogged about it a couple years ago.  Grade levels mean different things in different schools, among different curricula companies, and even through time.  Common Core, which was supposed to unify standards in grade levels throughout the United States, has been rejected by several states and is atrocious with its depleted content. 

Old-fashioned, one-room schoolhouses understood the concept of a seamless road of knowledge.  Using things such as Ray’s Aritmetic and the McGuffey Readers helped to create some of the most literate, creative, innovative people in history.  And yet, we tend to look at these methods as flawed today because the advancements made by those very people have made us egotistical.  It’s as if we lay claim to the advancements of previous generations, but believe it was flawed because the lessons we learned from their combined knowledge make us somehow smarter.

This year has gone a little differently that previous homeschool years.  With the exception of when we need to research something, or the occasional documentary, I have eliminated all screens.  In February, 2018, Business Insider posted an article about how some of those that have a hand in the best technological developments send their children to tech-free schools and limit technology in their homes.  Articles and studies abound online about the dangers and addiction risks of technology.  From the Washington Post to Psychology Today, the risks of technology are well-known.  The New York Times published an article back in 2012 that discussed how technology is creating more attention issues and is changing how children learn.  And then there is the digital versus print debate that is still ongoing.  People tend to read faster and take in less when reading on a digital screen.    Article after article also discuss how social media is being linked to depression in all ages, including young people.

Does this mean we don't ever use technology?  Of course not, but it is limited.  It is a tool.  Technological advances are wonderful in so many ways, but they can also be detrimental. 

Technology isn't the only area where I have made changes.  I have also been adding many "older" books to our reading.  The average, bestselling, popular fiction book has only a sixth grade reading level.  Popular authors, such as James Patterson and Nora Roberts, have an average of 4.4 grade level.  In the sixties, the average bestseller was an eighth grade reading level. Farmers in the 1800s read material such as the Pilgrim’s Progress and The Last of the Mohicans for entertainment.  Both of those selections are considered college level material today.

Using older materials, such as the McGuffey Readers, helps to bring in the incredible sentence structures and vocabulary of earlier writings.  I have also added many older books in my daughter's reading list, such as The Bobbsey Twins series, Little Britches, and the works of L.M. Montgomery.  I don't necessarily think our reading list must all be older books, as there are some more modern books that are wonderful, but I have found a strong appreciation for some of the older works and how they train the brain to think a little more deeply. 

If I had to do it all over, I probably would have not stressed so much about the methods or the materials.  I would have done what I am doing now...  a good math program that has excellent explanations and builds slowly, some grammar, some writing, and a ton of great books.  So many subjects can be contained in "living books."  Most of the time my girl doesn't even realize she is learning when she is reading a book that grabs her attention.  She is caught up in the story.  I have added plenty of read-alouds and audiobooks to the list, because this has also proven to be supremely beneficial to the brain.

Many times my children learn through following their own interests.  To do this, they must have time to do this.  I have noticed that having a set schedule for learning without grade levels, where the child works at their own pace, and the basics are the focus; frees up that time.  It also frees up a lot of time to limit screens.  When I do so, my child will explore her own interests freely.  She will play outside with other children.  She will read more, above and beyond what is on the reading list.  She delved into horses last year, reading and learning all she could. 

I own a lot of materials, acquired after years of homeschooling.   I tried this method and that method.  I researched philosophies. And, despite tying some of this and some of that, I always come back to some core principles.  I want a solid math program and lots of good books, both fiction and nonfiction, that cover a plethora of subjects and topics. 

I believe that a person that knows how to extract knowledge from books can do anything.  They can teach themselves whatever they need to know about whatever subject they need or desire to know about, delve into the greatest minds of history and science, and go on adventures with the world’s greatest characters.  The quote that best exemplifies this is, “A reader lives a thousand lives...”

Education shouldn’t be complicated, and yet people complicate it.  Colleges use big words such as pedagogy to give teachers the feeling that they have some special insight into the minds of children.  Schools expect children to be on a certain level, and treat them differently if they go outside the bounds of that level.  The ones that do best are “gifted” or “advanced.”  The ones that struggle are “learning disabled.”  Many times, neither is true.

A seamless road of knowledge means that a child begins at one spot, and slowly moves forward, at their own pace.  They might move faster or slower in different areas depending on natural proclivities and what is occurring in their lives. But, they are always progressing.  There shouldn't be a bunch of stops and restarts.  An education that has a bunch of leaps that jump too far too quickly will leave the child lost.  A curriculum that is dumbed-down, that keeps the child at a lower level, will never allow him or her to become a self-learner.

I can tell you that, once a child is in the adult world, nearly all learning is self-learning.  We have no way of knowing what the future will hold, and trying to prepare our children for the unknown will be difficult.  Instead, we should teach them how to learn, how to think for themselves, so that they will have the capabilities to meet the future with confidence. 

Interest-led Learning Brings Back Joy

When I was fifteen, I got my first camera.  I began to learn by doing.  The camera was a basic point and shoot.  The most expensive part was keeping up with the film.  Over the years I took thousands of various film pictures.  I spent a lot of money.  I wasn't a professional.  I was just someone that liked to capture moments.  With the basic camera, I didn't need to understand f-stops or ISO.  I didn't need to do anything except turn on the flash in low-light.  Of course, the pictures were sometimes blurry.  Many times people had red-eyes.  Eventually, I began to scrapbook.  I purchased a "red-eye" pen, which I could use on my photos to help eliminate red eyes.

On my youngest daughter's first birthday, I received my first digital camera from my sister.  From this point forward, the need for film ended.  (I still have rolls of film somewhere that need developed. It might be a beautiful day if I can ever find them and get them developed.)  My drawers of loose photos and negatives and the shelves of photo albums stopped growing.  I could fit thousands of pictures on a good sized SD card.  Again, this was a basic digital camera. Eventually my other sister got into photography.  She began making money with her photography.  I would help her occasionally.  I ventured from digital cameras to smart phone cameras and even played with a DSLR I received as a birthday gift.  I am still learning... and playing.  I have found plenty of resources to help me learn and grow.

When I began homeschooling, I went online and to the library and found all the information I could find to help me to a good job of teaching my own children.  That led to over a decade of learning how children learn, how the brain works, different styles of learning, and ADHD issues.  I am still learning more every day.

When I needed to relearn math so I could pass the entrance testing to go back to college, I grabbed my daughters' math program they had used for high school Algebra.  I went through a year's worth of material in two months.  I passed my entrance test so I didn't have to take remedial classes.

This is how people naturally learn.  When we have an interest or a need, we find a way to learn all we need to know and more.  When I have an interest, I find a way.  Libraries have always been an ally for me.  The internet has become a major breath of fresh air because the world is at my fingertips.  It helps me to dig in deeper or find other resources.

I know how I learn best.  Much of what I learned in school, I don't remember.  I have learned more through homeschooling, following my own interests, and being a devoted reader than I ever did in school.  I think we are all similar in that we learn best when we are interested.  In fact, if it is something we want to learn, we will be passionate in the pursuit of knowledge.

I went back to college to study library science.  I could have learned much of what I have learned these last couple of years through many other methods.  However, I want to have the ability to gain employment after many years of being a "homeschool mom."  I have only one student left at home, and she is growing quickly.  So, I decided it was time to prepare for the next season of my life.  I had dreamed of going back to college for twenty-five years, so I enrolled in community college.  I have done well so far academically, which was a bit of surprise to me after being out of school for so long.  I honestly believe it is because I have kept learning, kept following my interests, kept reading.  I have been an active learner over the years.

Learning should be a bit like this, a quest, an adventure.  Yes, there are times when we have to learn things that aren't necessarily the most fun.  I am not a math-lover, but when I needed to learn math that I had never learned well and barely got through in high school a quarter century earlier, I did.  The same can be said about anything I have needed to learn.  I learned to grow a garden.  I learned to air-dry clothes.  I learned to can and preserve food.  I learned how to stretch a dollar as far as possible when money was tight.  We learn what we need to learn and what we want to learn.

Despite this knowledge, I have always been afraid to let my children follow their interests in education.  Oh, we would learn a bit here and there, but I usually had a plan, a scope and sequence from a curriculum company that I felt was important.  I have kept a bit of a public school mentality, despite using alternative methods.

I have graduated three students.  Granted, they all spent varying degrees of time in public school.  However, homeschooling should have been freedom for them. In many ways, it was.  In some ways, if I am honest, it was too similar to the system I pulled them from. All three received a quality education and a grounding in the Bible.  They are intelligent and have pursued various paths since they left school.  One just graduated last year and is still making her way.  But none of the three is passionately curious.  The one that seems to have the most curiosity about following her interests is the one that graduated first.  She went on to college, but has now spent several years out of school.  Maybe she has finally deschooled enough to become curious again.

Even in homeschooling, we can kill our children's curiosity.  They might receive a top education, but they won't necessary become life-long learners.  For two years I have watched my youngest daughter, now a sixth grader, lose her curiosity.  The word "school" caused groans.  School work was taking longer and longer, making the days drag.  The work she did finish was not done well.  She often skipped work or rushed or did such a poor job that it needed to be redone.

A plethora of those days over the past two years left me needing to make a choice.  I could punish my child, taking a more disciplined approach, or I could change things.  I had done both a few times and things were not getting better.  I had become stricter, and she had fallen apart more.  I had changed the order of lessons, lessened the workload, dropped some things and added others.  It was a nightmare of planning and re-planning.  I normally enjoy planning school, but it was no longer fun.

In the meantime, I am trying to go to college.  I had begun to babysit for extra funds.  I was dealing with personal issues.  I was getting more and more burnt out as a homeschool mom.

I stumbled upon this post by Sarah Janisse Brown while reading about delight-directed learning.

"When a child explores their passion first they will be curious, next they will play, next they will explore, next they will research, Next they will question, next they will copy, next they will communicate, next they will seek mastery, and in mastering they will apply the learning and create. Allow your child the joy of EVERY phase of true learning. when we try to control the learning process we do it out of order, and seek results. Allow the child to spend as much time as they need in each area, and bounce back and forth between the stages. Play (not practice) is actually the most powerful form of learning, creativity is the expression of learning and looks a lot like play."

This so correlates with how I learn and with how most people learn.  When I am learning about photography, it looks like play.  When my husband is messing around with his bass, it looks like play, but he is a very talented musician from all his "playing."  The joy of discovery in learning about my interests doesn't feel like drudgery.  It's feels satisfying.  So, despite wanting my daughter to have this "well rounded" education, if she is dying inside, if she despises it, discipline won't bring back the joy.

And so, I put away most of the materials and started over.  I purchased a couple Funschooling journals.  My daughter picked her first "major," and we headed to the library to gather stacks of books about horses.  She also checked out books on weather, volcanoes, the Bermuda Triangle, and oceans.  Yes, she has a variety of interests.  She spends every other day studying her "major."  The other day are for her other interests.

I also found books on math that were more story-based.  I found a bunch of math games online.  I pulled out the Life of Fred.  I mixed it all with Khan Academy and Math Lessons for a Living Education, so she can approach math concepts from multiple ways and learn at her own pace.

I have other plans as well.  Yes, she still does reading and grammar.  Yes, she still has math every day.  She is still going through her McGuffey readers.  She still takes piano lessons every week.  But the rest of school has blossomed.  She is learning and growing.  Multiple times a day I hear, "Hey Mom, did you know...?"

I have been devouring books on following a delight-directed path.  Statistically, most children that follow this path do quite well in life.  They don't get burnt-out because their learning is about their interests.  In fact, from my reading, their biggest frustration is attending college and being discouraged by the other students' apathy toward their classes.  This is a frustration I understand because I waited 25 years to go back to college.  I don't understand those that aren't excited to learn.  Yes, not every class is "fun."  Not everything agrees with my worldview.  However, I still enjoy the process. I haven't been in a traditional school for many years, and so I have had time to learn what I want in my own ways.

I thought I would feel upset that the curriculum I purchased is not being used the way it was planned.  I'm not.  The resources will still be used.  The literature will still be read.  The difference now is that my daughter will absorb the information better when she reads and studies because she chose it.  It wasn't chosen for her.  All of that curriculum becomes part of a home library that we get to enjoy instead of a duty that must be completed. That makes a huge difference in a child's attitude toward learning.

If we miss a book here or there, if we don't study certain material in a certain year, if we never cover certain topics in depth, I am not worried.  I am no longer stressed that we have to do school a certain way at a certain time to meet standards that were created by strangers.  My daughter will be well-read.  We will continue read-alouds.  We will continue to study and grow and learn.

Mostly, I want my daughter to have that spark in her eyes about life and learning.  I want her to know herself, to learn who she is and to have confidence in herself while she is young, so she isn't "finding herself" at thirty or older.  I want to discover who God made her to be, instead of feeling like I have to make her into anything.  I want her to know her talents and gifts and have the time to figure out for herself what she loves and doesn't love.  I don't want her to doubt herself or feel she has to compete with anyone to be approved of or feel validated.

Life moves so quickly.  Time with my girl won't last forever.  This way of learning... it isn't the normal path.  However, the normal path has failed.  It has failed internationally where the United States struggles to compete and scores dismally.  It has failed in my home where I have educated children that get done with their homeschool and have lost their love of learning and discovery. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, than surely I have spent too many years insane.