When a mother comes to Christ, her family will join her at church only 17% of the time; but when a father comes to Christ, his family joins him 93% of the time (WACMM)
I can’t get past this statistic. This morning I was listening to a pastor on Facebook live as he told the story of a young father that had hated God. This young father had mocked God. But, like Saul on the road to Damascus, God had other plans. This young man was saved, baptized, and filled with the Holy Spirit in moments. The story then reveals that this young man and his girlfriend, already having had children together, decided to marry.
In a world where men are too often seen as unimportant, the statistic above and the Word of God reveal this to be untrue. They are important and, by serving God, can impact eternity.
Why does a man’s family join him at church 93% of the time? Why is it that when a woman attends the percent is only 17%?
The answer seems unfair and sexist, but the reality is unchanged. When a man is sold out for Christ, his entire family is changed. When a woman is sold out for Christ, she then begins an uphill battle for the souls of her family.
Millions have beat the statistics. Millions of godly women have led the way for their families. They have seen their children find and follow Jesus. It is far from impossible. It is simply much more challenging.
The Bible knows that a spouse can have an impact. In 1 Corinthians it states:
“Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?”
1 Corinthians 7:16 NLT
The verse doesn’t state just how challenging it can be to have a spouse that isn’t following Christ. And while ladies want to believe we can conquer the world, statistically, the journey to lead even our own children to serve Jesus with their lives without a husband to partner with us is not an easy path.
I saw this first hand in my own life. It was during a very dark time in my marriage that my husband turned to Jesus. He actually turned to his dad. But his daddy was a pastor and, with the help of a second pastor, my husband turned to Jesus.
I had not witnessed a lot of positive Christianity up till that point. My grandma had been a beautiful woman of God, but I had also seen cliques and bullying, been treated harshly by Christian family when I had been an unwed teenager, and had a bitter taste in my mouth about Christians. I was hesitant about the decision to follow Christ that my husband had made.
I didn’t have a bitter taste about Christ, however. And when my husband began to go to church, I joined him. Soon, I had given my heart to Jesus and our family was changed. For many years, as we started as baby Christians and grew and learned, I didn’t stop to consider how it could all change.
When a dark time came upon our family once again (they come on us all), we left church. I went back after a few weeks, feeling a conviction that my youngest daughter needed to be in church. But convincing the husband to come at that time was a point of contention. He didn’t want to be there. He had closed out the voice of God after a few difficult years and circumstances that had left us both broken and shattered.
My going back to church didn’t change my husband’s mind. Our daughter crying for daddy to come didn’t alter his resolve to not go. It took a long time. It took the prayers of a church. It took another Godly man coming alongside my husband to encourage him to break that apathy.
None of this happened within a couple weeks. The slide to apathy and the climb out took years. Jesus has done an amazing work in my husband over the last 18 or so months. He is a new man, different even from the man he was when he first followed the Lord in newbie excitement. His walk with Christ is now not simply based on circumstances; for we have learned that circumstances will rip us apart from the heart of God and send us spiraling into a dark abyss without a relationship based on much more than what is happening in our lives or how we feel.
The contrast is stark between the man he was and the man God is making him. He knew he was called to ministry years ago, but when life knocked him down, he ran away from that call. I think back to those dark times and how broken I was. I remember crying all the way to church, trying to hide my tears from my daughter. I remember feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world, taking her to church alone, feeling like I needed a partner to raise her for Christ. I didn’t want to do it alone!
And yet, every week, I see other women fighting that same battle. I see them coming to church, children (or grandchildren) in tow, praying and praising God despite the fact that they are doing it alone. Some are single moms, clinging to Jesus to get them through the struggles of single parenting. Some stick. Many more decide that it’s too hard, and they leave church and a relationship with Jesus just to not have to feel that overwhelming struggle to do it alone.
Others are married but their husbands aren’t saved, or come to church occasionally. I know of many women that were saved after they had gotten married. The deepest desire of their heart is for their husband to give his life to Christ. I know their hearts. I know they are praying for the man they love to be a spiritual partner in life. I know they crave the companionship of a man that will pray with them, pray for them, and help raise their children to love the Lord. These women are determined to beat the statistics, but they know their husband at their side would change the entire dynamic of their family.
Our culture is one that says following Jesus is unimportant. When a woman gives her heart to the Lord, and does her best to raise her children for the Lord, she is already fighting a culture that demeans her efforts. When she goes home and, instead of finding support and encouragement, finds she must also battle her husband to change her family, she is fighting a tough battle indeed.
I didn’t want to have to beat the odds. I knew what it was like to have that husband by my side serving the Lord. I took my daughter to church and did my best, but beating the odds wasn’t the cry of my heart. The cry of my heart was for my husband to be by my side.
Men, you matter. You matter to the wives and children in your life. You can change your family for eternity. You can be an example for your children, your grandchildren, and even those other kids that witness a man of God being active in his relationship with the Lord.
Our culture demeans the importance of men and their influence in their children’s lives. Yes, there have been bad apples. Yes, there have been abuses. However, the statistics clearly reveal that men, when they serve Jesus with clean hearts and a deep love for their Creator, bring their family alongside them 93% of the time!
Ninety-three percent!!!
Consider the average two-child family. For every 100 men that serve the Lord and take their family to church, that is 186 children that are being raised in Christ. For true believers, Jesus isn’t just a church experience, but impacts home and work. Those children see Jesus in their home as well as at church.
It was during the dark times when we stumbled in our faith and my husband’s apathy grew that one of our children went from a believer to a prodigal. I don’t believe God is done, but I know that our actions at the time contributed. It was easy to see how moms serving Christ without the support of her husband are going to struggle to keep their children in the faith. After all, more is caught than taught. Even as a homeschool mom, where Christian principles and the Word of God was part of our daily lives, the example set was poor. We were a divided home, and I was so heartbroken and defeated so much of the time that I didn’t hold up well. I made so many mistakes in fear and anger and grief.
I’m not living in blame or failure. God has forgiven our actions of that time. We faced some circumstances and situations that Left us reeling and stripped bare. I am so thankful to the Lord for drawing us back. He truly has healed some circumstances that I wasn’t sure we would survive. He restored our faith, our hearts, and placed us on ground that wasn’t solid in the past. If He wasn’t done with us, I have to believe He isn’t down with our prodigal.
There will always be those outliers in the statistics. There will be women that raise world-changers for the Lord without a spouse by their side. There will be men that go to church alone, without the support of their spouse. And there will be those children that walk away from the Lord despite parents that love Him and serve Him faithfully. But statistically, the odds are strong that families, churches, and eternity will be impacted by men that trust in the Lord and take their families to church.
Please be that man. We are fighting a war that is just as spiritual as physical. Satan knows that if he wants to destroy what Christ is doing in the world, he can discourage the men first. He can make them too busy, too distracted, too angry, too apathetic... anything to keep them from taking their family to church and serving the Lord in his home. He knows the battle is much more difficult for everyone else if he bombards men. Satan targets all Christians because he targets those anointed and being remade in the image of Christ. But he gains a much easier victory when he goes after the husbands and fathers.
Ladies, if your spouse has walked away, or has never been a Christian, or if you are a single mom trying to raise your children for Jesus against what feels like impossible odds, know you don’t battle alone. I pray every woman feeling discouraged will know she isn’t alone, that God walked with her even when she cannot see. He has a plan. Keep praying. Keep trusting. Keep loving. Keep serving. Don’t give up! When you are crying over Scriptures, know the promises are for you. When you are praying through fear and discouragement, know your prayers are heard and there is a battle going on that may not be apparent in the physical realm. Surround yourself with other believers that will join you in prayer to battle for your family. Keep going. God is faithful and, even if it feels like it will never happen, He is still working.
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