First Day Fears

Technically my first day of college is tomorrow.  I was able to download course calendars and syllabuses yesterday.  Today, I read some and played around on the college sight where my online classes are located, getting a feel for what is expected.

 

It's a bit overwhelming. 

For a long time I have been the one directing the flow of school.  Now, I am being directed. I looked at the amount of reading and the lessons and discussion boards and was instantly overwhelmed.  

Can I go to college, work towards minimalism, keep my relationship with Jesus priority, homeschool, and still cook dinners and get laundry completed?

Going back to college has been my dream for such a long time that I never thought it would happen.  It is a bit surreal and frightening.  After all, despite homeschooling my children, I haven't exactly been a student in many years. Can I keep up with all that is expected?

My fears assaulted me head on as I looked through the first few weeks of what is expected.  And this is a community college, not an Ivy League school!

Then I looked at my daughters.  Both were working diligently on their own schoolwork.  I began the course that all college students are required to take, about personal goals and study skills and succeeding in college life.  I know I'm not the only "older" student. I picked up one of the books for one class in my major, and reading the material was interesting to me. In fact, I loved it!

"I can do this." I thought. 

I have yet to totally figure out the computer board with all the assignments.  I am nervous about messing up, I think.  I did submit a couple lessons and a discussion board in the "College Success" course. 

I am not sure how I will accomplish all that is required.  However, I am a good steward of time when I need to be.  I worked right alongside my daughters today.  I'm sure it will take some establishing new routines and familiarity with the school programs before I can work without that nervous feeling.  I expect that the excitement will fade as I push through the parts of college that aren't my favorite. 

One thing that struck me, and has me considering for next year, is how responsible I am expected to be.  The course calendar lists all the assignments for the week with due dates.  I am expected to plan out what I do when.  I have had years of experience making lesson plans. This wasn't a big deal to me.  But I wondered if Laura was ready.  She has less than a year and a half of school left. I wondered instantly if she shouldn't be responsible for her scheduling next year.  Could I give her a list of weekly objectives and trust her to schedule them for herself?  

Tomorrow is day two of many, many more to come.