Introverts and Extroverts

I have five very different daughters. 

God gave each of them very different personalities.  In His infinite wisdom, He created them unique and different.

I began looking a bit into personality types.  I have a couple that definitely lean toward extrovert and a couple that lean toward introvert. Learning the appropriate definitions and personality traits that accompany each one is important to understanding that it isn't just the outgoing girl that's the extrovert.  It's also not the shy girl that's the introvert.  Some are ambiverts, which is a combination of the two. 

 I have been criticized a few times because my greatest introvert doesn't seek out a lot of friends.  She has a few she depends on, but is just as content being alone.  As a homeschooling family, introverts seem to typify the stereotype of unsocialized homeschooler.  And yet, I honestly feel she would be the same in public school. If anything, she has more confidence as a homeschooler because she isn't trying to fit into some mold set by peers. Instead, she can be who she is, delve into her own interests, all without judgment. 

When people criticize, I often see that the criticism comes from extroverts.  To many, a high school girl should be surrounded by a group of buddies, be involved in clubs or sports, and possibly have a boyfriend.  My daughter has a small group of what she considers friends.  She isn't a joiner, which isn't a surprise since neither are her father or me.  She did have a guy she liked, but it was casual, as is appropriate as a young teen.  He moved away, and my daughter isn't a mess.  She liked him, but he is still a friend. 

As a homeschooling mom, I see the pressure out on teens to be a certain way, even if it doesn't fit the personality that God gave them, and I am saddened.  Even homeschooling hasn't protected my daughter from he expectations of loved ones.  Someone always has an opinion, and often think they are "helping" by expressing that opinion. 

I was a mix my whole life.  It seemed I was the new kid at school at least a half dozen times.  As a young child, I would talk to anyone.  However, as I was moved from school to school, I became a loner, introverted because kids can be so cruel.  I lived very much in my head, in books, in writing.  And yet, I am rarely afraid of speaking in front of a group. 

I have a daughter that helps lead the youth group in her church.  She is also a worship leader.  She is very much an extrovert.  And yet she can only be in a crowd so long before she needs to be alone, to recharge. 

I think we need to all cut each other some slack once in awhile. People are different on purpose. Instead of judging or jumping to conclusions, we should take a step back and realize that some of the people we will encounter won't be like us.  What motivates them is different. How they cope is different.  Some seek a large group and thrive in social settings.  Others can be involved for awhile, but will  need an escape after awhile.  Others don't function well in a crowd and wish to be alone. 

As a homeschooling mom, I can't allow myself to worry about personality.  I am more desiring to help mold character.  I pray that I am teaching my daughters to accept the differences in people and to look for the good intentionally.