The characters in books probably saved my life. I was a loner as a child and teen. I was the "new girl" so many times that I dreaded school. I did decently in academics, loved reading and English, but socially I was awkward. I had a curly, frizzy mess on my head all my life. I wore glasses. I moved numerous times. I came from a lower income family. It was a lonely place to be.
My friends, often, were characters in my life that I could have without judgment or expectations. I watched Who's the Boss and Growing Pains so I could have other girls that had teenage lives. Samantha and Carol had no idea that they were able to help me cope with one more new school, one more class full of kids I didn't know and would leave in a year.
I also made friends with book characters. I read every Sweet Valley High book the libraries held. Elizabeth and Jessica and their buddies saw me through many lonely days. I would make friends, but then I would have to move. The Sweet Valley High girls could go with me. I excelled in Elglish literature and even tried my hand at writing some short stories.
As I became a woman and mother, I also found myself as a military wife. Once again the loneliness was present. As an adult, I discovered Dannielle Steel and Sandra Brown and Nora Roberts. My tastes were romanticized and I looked for buddies among very flawed, fleshly heroines. I wouldn't become a Christian until I was in my early thirties and had ingrained many characters and books into my head that were far from Godly.
As a Christian, I began to feel that God would have me change many things. My choice in television viewing changed from soaps to some select shows that were more tasteful. My books... My friends... It was difficult to let them go.
I still remember the night I looked at my shelves and knew the selections needed to be out of my house. Removing the characters and words from my brain would take much longer, but the compulsion to get them out of my home was strong. I knew God wanted them gone.
Outside we had a burn barrel. I steeled myself against the voice whispering, "Don't throw away perfectly good books. Just hold onto them. Donate them. Don't destroy them."
Yes, I feel that Satan was attempting to use my frugality to keep me from getting rid of the books. I knew I would never actually donate them. If they stayed in my home, I would eventually cave and keep them.
Books, maybe because they were my lifeline for so long, had a powerful influence over me. I would reread books and the thoughts in them would become my thoughts. Putting junk in my head and heart was dangerous. I knew it. God has showed me clearly. So, before I could give myself the chance to back out, I gathered up my books by the armfuls and tossed them in the burn barrel. It took a few trips to empty my shelves of the books that I knew needed to go.
The next day I went to the library. The little library in the small town where we lived had the Christian fiction in its own section. I wasn't tempted by the draw of my past addictions, by past characters that I didn't need in my life. I can tell you, it was almost as tough as walking away from old friends you share a history with, but that you know will pull you away from God.
That day I picked up One Tuesday Morning by Karen Kingsbury. Since 9/11 was only a few years old, I was interested. That book turned my heart in a big way. It showed me that fiction can be glorifying to the Lord, and not only be interesting, but life transforming! I later began the Baxter series, and found new fictional friends in the Baxter family. I know of at least three other women I got hooked on Karen Kingsbury books.
I have a few Christian authors that I enjoy. My reading is quite diverse now. I read homeschooling books, like Teaching From Rest by Sarah Mackenzie, which I recently purchased. I read many of my daughters' books for homeschool, and have discovered some great books and authors that way. I am planning to delve into C.S. Lewis this summer, as I never read his books in public school.
Books are still my friends. Homeschooling can be a bit lonely also. Like being the "new girl" or a military wife, homeschooling is still something that some look down upon because it is counter-culture. And yet, I see, that God has been showing me for years how to find support when I feel isolated.
Sarah Mackenzie, Sally Clarkson, Sarah Mae, and many other women are amazing homeschooling support. Once again, books (as well as articles and podcasts) have become a friend and support. They help when I am tired. They give me encouragement and inspiration when I need it.
This week is a prime example. My husband and one teenage daughter have had a nasty virus. My oldest teenager smashed her hand when changing her tire yesterday, while I was at the ER with viral girl. The eight year old was sick all last week.
Then last night, after the two ER visits the day necessitated, plus piano lessons and school and laundry and dinner, I sat down and took the time to just read. No tv. No phone. It was just me and the book. I read this:
"We can't really rest in God's care until we trust that He will indeed care for us."
- Sarah Mackenzie in Teaching From Rest
Books, the best ones, leave you with moments of, "Wow."
I will always be a reader. I can't understand those that don't like to read.
I may be more discerning now, but I am also very sure that every parable of Jesus was a story, and that God can use a story to teach, reach, and even to show love to the reader.
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