It's a new year. This is the time of resolutions. Many churches across the nation begin each new year with fasting and prayers. At Thanksgiving, Social Media is filled with gratitude lists. At Christmas time, there are lots of posts about family and good will and, from Christians, posts saying "Jesus is the reason for the season." At the beginning of the New Year, posts abound about the goals and resolutions people wish to strive to achieve.
Maybe its financial gain, weight loss, going after dreams put aside for some reason or another; but for a few days, people reflect on the previous year and make plans this year to conquer the world.
I can't bring myself to do that this year. First, in the past, when I have made all these "resolutions", I stress trying to accomplish them. If this is a positive thing, then STRESS isn't what I need. Then, when I don't stick with it, like the 77% of others that make resolutions, I feel guilty. Thirty-five percent of resolution makers don't make it to the end of January.
My reflections of the previous year aren't positive. I count my blessings, but feel a bit beat up. It was a tough year, but I know they occasionally happen to everyone. Some of the situations of this past year changed my heart about what true dreams and goals should consist of for me.
There are "things" I want to accomplish this year. My husband and I plan to buy a car, and are trying to do so without debt. I'm thinking of investing in a plot at the community garden because I miss gardening. I have a list of books I want to read.
None of these really qualify as "resolutions". They are just things that need to happen or are enjoyable for me. I have only three things on my heart that qualify as resolutions:
1. Draw closer to the Lord.
My heart burns inside me to spend time with Him. I know that ONLY the Lord can fill me, heal my wounds from a rough year, guide me into His plan for me, and give me dreams again. After years of stressful situations, I've sorta lost some of my dreams. It used to be to one day go back to college. I love learning, but am not sure if that is God's plan. I'm praying. But... I have lost sight of my dreams. Either they just don't seem important or desirable any longer, or they pale in comparison for what the Lord may have for me. I don't know what that is, but I'm praying he'll show me.
2. Draw close to family.
Last year proved how quickly material possessions can be gone. It also proved how fragile life can be with a couple very sick daughters, one nearly dying. My goal is to cherish the time with my loved ones. In a blink life could change. I long for quiet dinners with my husband, quality and quantity time with my children, peaceful fun with extended family.
3. Live with joy.
This is difficult for me. I admit it, I'm not naturally a positive, joyful person. It is work for me to not instantly see the glass half empty. I can't state for certain whether it is nature or nurture or just years of wrong thoughts ingrained deeply inside, but I hate living this way. The stress alone of the anger and frustrations and upsets and negative mind has taken a physical toll on my body. I need to, with the Lord's help, get my mind renewed daily. Joy, peace... It can't be based on whatever situation arises or the rocky emotions that sometimes flow through me. It HAS to be based on one thing... Jesus Christ.
So, there you have it. My list isn't awe-inspiring. It's just me. We'll see where God leads.
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