There is that moment in any parent's life when they must make a decision to tell the truth to their child or lie. I wanted to tell the truth years ago, but didn't. At first it was because "traditions" had become so entwined with childhood; and changing traditions caused instant rebellion in my older children. Even my husband saw the lie as harmless and fun.
We make excuses. "It's not a lie." "He did exist." "He represents the spirit of giving in the season." "It's all fun."
But I felt differently.
It nagged at me every December. I would avoid conversation about this, trying to focus on Christ.
Then yesterday morning, as I cooked breakfast, my youngest asked me the question I knew was coming. I had been through this before, and my response to my older children before I was a Christian was a perpetuation of the lie until it was nearly ridiculous. (Anyone ever say, "If you don't believe, you don't receive"?)
My sweet-faced six year old, hair messy and sleep still in her eyes, blurted out of the blue that question all parents eventually hear, "Mom, is Santa real?"
I actually was shocked for a moment. My thoughts raced quickly through my mind in second, one on top of the other:"What is the right approach? She's only six? Why did we ever start this lie with her anyway? We were Christians when she was born! What if she lumps Jesus with Santa and the Easter Bunny? What if she is crushed? I need to talk to my husband."
Why did I go along with telling my child a lie, perpetuating the things about Christmas that have actually discouraged me about the season and caused me to wish I could just skip the entire holiday?
The simple answer... To not disappoint anyone. My older girls all grew up believing the Santa myths and living the traditions. We became Christians after the oldest three were at an age to know Santa as a fictional character. They love Jesus and know the difference between a fictional character and a living Savior. Even the one that was only a five year old when she learned about Jesus didn't seem to falter in her faith because she later discovered Santa was pretend. Since no one seemed to have a great faltering of faith due to Santa, none of them (at first) saw anything wrong with the lies and traditions that gave them such fun childhood memories.
And besides, if I told my six-year old the truth, she would tell all the other kids, and their parents might lynch me! My son-in-law grew up without Santa being a part of their family's Christmas. As a boy, he often told other children there was no Santa. It didn't always go over very well.
Parents of young children at church saw nothing wrong with it. They played out the Santa myth right alongside the Nativity story. In fact, as a children's teacher at church, I can arrest that most children know Santa better than the story of Christ's birth.
And why not? Blockbuster movies are played incessantly on TV at Christmastime about Santa. Where would our holidays be without "Miracle on 34th Street", "The Santa Clause", the claymation adventure "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", or the animated classics of "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" and "Frosty the Snowman?"
We have programs where we send in a couple pictures of our child and answer a couple questions and a personalized video message is sent for the child to watch. That child is pulled into a wondrous world of make-believe, magic, gifts, and adventure. Who wouldn't be sold? It's like a magic genie that shows up every December, granting the child's materialistic wish!
We wait in mile-long lines at malls and department stores so our child can sit on Santa's lap and tell him whether they've been nice or naughty and what gift they want for Christmas. We spend big bucks to give our child or children awesome gifts and, hopefully, memories they will cherish. After all, we don't want the child to think Santa let them down. Some of us (more than admit) stress every year on how we will be able to pay for all the presents for our families, friends, coworkers, etc.
And so, my sweet and trusting six year old had already been told, by her friends, that Santa wasn't real. But she looked at me for reassurance, cause Mommy wouldn't lie to her. Right?
My heart sunk, and I knew I had made a mistake. Cause whether her faith in God takes a hit or not, her faith in her mommy would. And what example did I give? That lying was acceptable if it was fun? That lying was acceptable if everyone else did it?
So... That evening (yes, it took me all day to work up the nerve) I sat on my bed with my daughter and told her who St. Nicholas really was in history. She didn't understand. Telling her that the Santa we have today is not real was difficult. She was obviously disappointed, and I wanted to kick myself for letting her believe it all to begin with. A part of me even briefly thought that, if I just kept the lie going, she wouldn't be disappointed...yet. However, I knew it was past time to let Christmas truly be about Christ, completely and whole-heartedly, in the hearts of every member of my family in my home.
Because, for me, I long for Christmas to be about Jesus. The consumerism and materialism surrounding Christmas had me ready to quit the holiday altogether. Presents, given to others, is not wrong... But it shouldn't cause tears because I wonder every year how we will pay for it. While Santa is supposed to represent the spirit of giving, he seemed to represent the spirit of "I wants" instead. What does a child say in Santa's lap?" "I want this doll or that game system or this toy."
Ironically, after only a moment of disappointment, my six year old just didn't care. She didn't care! She asked if that was why the cookies were barely eaten on Christmas morning. She already knew, deep down, that Santa was a myth. And she seemed to believe she was more grown up because we trusted her with the truth.
Don't take this as condemnation if you do the "Santa" thing with your kids. This is a family choice, and these traditions run deep, back to our own childhoods and or parents' and grand-parents' childhood. God convicted me about it for the same reasons He has convicted me about many other traditions. Maybe He'll speak the same to you, or maybe not. I believe it's a lie, and lying is wrong. But, knowing this, I still fought changing the "traditions" surrounding Christmas in my family.
If you have never done the "Santa" thing in your home, then good. This post may seem silly to you. But I guarantee many Christians fight this battle in their homes or within themselves. It's okay for Christians to sometimes have to figure things out with God on their own and in His timing.
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