Has Your Child Been Harassed?

Sometimes I wonder if parents are blind to what is happening in the public school systems across our country.  There is a mentality of "It isn't that bad" or "It won't happen to my kid" that is prevalent.  I find this is true everywhere, but there is something about living in a smaller, more rural community where parents believe their child is in a safe environment.  I simply don't believe that any longer.

Last week a girl that I know well went to her guidance counselor after an incident by her locker.  She was in between classes when the boy in the neighboring locker made some crude remarks to her.  He then grabbed her breasts.  Earlier, in study hall, this same boy had been reaching over and rubbing a different girl's legs while she protested.  This was IN CLASS!

The assault in the hallway was caught on the school's security tape.  The boy was "dealt with" by school authorities.  He was punished, but he'll be back.  Luckily, his locker is no longer by the girl he assaulted.  Will he come back a reformed boy?  Truthfully, unless his parents truly take this seriously, probably not.

According to a survey conducted in May and June of 2011, entitled Crossing the Line, "Nearly half (48 percent) of the students surveyed experienced some form of sexual harassment in the 2010–11 school year, and the majority of those students (87 percent) said it had a negative effect on them."  


This study includes everything from name-calling to being sexually assaulted. 

A counselor told me recently that the number of girls that are sexually molested or assaulted by the time they are 18 is three out of five.  She has been counseling young people for thirty years.  She told me that there seems to be an increase in not only the number of assaults, but also in the violence associated with them.  While the increase in assaults could be because youth are encouraged to speak out and report abuse, many still never report incidences to authorities or school officials. Reporting is often linked to fear of further abuse or bullying by friends of the accused.

Many suffer sexual assault in silence.  One girl reported to me that she didn't tell her mother that she was sexually assaulted at twelve years old until she was nearly twenty.  She knew her mother would have called the police.  The girl was afraid of repercussions from the friends and younger siblings of the offender.

While boys are also sexually assaulted, the incidence in girls is much higher.  When I think of my daughters, I am grieved about the world they live in.  Our daughters should be protected.  They should be free to grow up, to go to school, without fear that they will be assaulted.  Unfortunately, this isn't the case at all.  Children go out of our homes every day to a battle zone.

These incidents are happening at younger and younger ages.  Please don't fool yourself into believing that your elementary child may have to face bullies, but not sexual harassment from peers.  In our culture, where sex is pervasive and almost literally "everywhere", younger and younger children are exposed to things that would have made our grandmothers blush... or be outright offended, and they are often exposed daily.

I pray that Americans wake up to the reality their children are living when they walk out the door in the morning.  It was far from perfect twenty years ago, even in those small, rural farm communities.  Parents assume, somehow, that it is the same or maybe even better due to awareness of these issues.  However, the reality is that the situations are worse than when we were in school.   If your child goes to school, or is involved in any situation where they might be harassed, talk with them.  Children need to be aware what could happen and how they should respond if they are approached inappropriately.