Purposely Remembering the Good

Jasmine, Tasha, Kim, and Laura - July 2004

I used to scrapbook.  I miss it.  I stopped scrapbooking several years ago when my youngest daughter was born.  She was a tough baby that didn't sleep much.  I had no energy for scrapbooking.  Now, after all these years, I feel a pull to scrapbook once again.  I don't know if I'll fit it in with homeschooling and ministry and just being a wife and mother, but I hope to one day get the opportunity to delve back into something that brought me such joy.

I went through a bunch of old scrapbooks earlier this evening with one of my daughters.  She has been dealing with a lot.  I sat down with her and just went through her scrapbooks.  It was so fun to see her face light up as she remembered things she had long forgotten!  The birthday parties and holidays, the first and last days of a school year, the big moments and the everyday moments... all in pictures with mementos.   For me, it seem like yesterday.  For my daughter, she remembered how much she is truly loved and the history of her life.  She was able to glimpse the hand of God working in her life from even before her family knew Him and followed Him.

Jasmine, Kim, Tasha, and Laura 2000

Things were never as perfect as pictures may have made things seem.  There were tons of pictures at the park.  We spent a lot of time there because we lived in an apartment with no yard and because we were too broke to go far.  But who cares?  As a little girl, my daughter was just as excited to go the park as she would have been to go somewhere that cost money!  The happy smiling faces may not show the hard times, but they do show the important times.  Lessons may have been learned in the tough times, but our memories were formed in the happy times that we often purposely created or focused on.

Those memories are so very precious to me.  It's hard to understand, when all your children are small, and you are struggling to keep food on the table or to find a quiet moment, that it all slips by so quickly.  The sound of your child's laughter, a daughter singing in the other room with no concern if others hear her, a small hand in yours as you cross a street, the "plays" the girls would put on for you with such dramatic expressions... the memories are endless.

I took so MANY pictures of it all.  In fact, I was often made fun of for all the pictures I took.  I still take pictures of those wonderful moments.  I always knew how fleeting time is.  Even before I read the Scripture that says life is a mist (James 4:14), I felt it deep in my heart.  That's not a melancholy spirit talking, but a realization deep in my soul that told me to capture those moments that quickly fade.  My oldest daughter is now twenty.  It seems like yesterday that she was singing and twirling and playing Barbie dolls for hours.

Jasmine, Laura, Dad, and Tasha - 2002

The daughter that has been going through such a difficult time sat with me and looked at her scrapbooks.  I impressed upon her to not focus on the negative and the struggles, because they are always going to be there in one way or another.  Instead, I told her to focus on the beautiful gift of life that God has blessed her with.  I encouraged her to remember the blessings she has and the wonderful memories God has given her, and to work on creating new ones.  I told her to live in the moment.  I told her that, while her dad and I may never be able to give her material riches, we will give her all the love we have every day for the rest of our lives.

I reminded myself of this too.  It is so easy to get caught up in current struggles and hurts.  It is so easy to long for a past that seemed better or a future that hasn't come yet, when all we really have is right now.  Oh, I love to look at those scrapbooks.  They remind me where God has brought us, and the blessings He had placed in our lives even before we gave our lives to Him.  And I love Him so much for those blessings.  But, looking at those pictures this evening, I was reminded of something else.

Those times had their own challenges.  The biggest challenge was that I was lost, wasting a lot of my time on hurt and anger and worldly cares.  Now, with Christ in my life, there are still challenges and hurts.  I still feel anger and have worldly cares.  Then I didn't have Christ.  Now I do, and having Christ means that I don't have to live with those hurts and challenges and worldly cares consuming me.  I can lift it all up to the Savior that died for me, and enjoy the blessings He has given me right now.  I can create new memories despite the tough times.  One day, I'll look back at pictures of my todays and, while I will know there were battles and challenges, I'll see the blessings and recognize God's guiding hand that I may not always see while living in the here and now.

Kim, Megan, Laura, Jasmine, and Tasha - 2011