Looking Back at the "Good Ole Days"

Father's Day 2006

Tasha and Laura 2000

I was looking through the old photo albums earlier this evening.  My newer pictures aren't in photo albums.  They are on memory cards and disks.  There is something sad about that.  The nostalgia of looking through old pictures isn't the same on a computer screen. 

I went all the way back to when my older daughters were little.  I remembered meeting my husband.  I remembered being a much younger, thinner me.  I remembered the birthday parties and holiday celebrations.  I saw the pictures of first steps and first days of school.  I glanced back at the many pictures I took.  I loved taking pictures even then.  I am glad I took them, even though I was teased for taking so many.

2004

I looked at the pictures of my life then, and for awhile I was nostalgic.  It was a "Those were the good ole days" scenario.  My husband and I lived in a little apartment for three years.  Oh, but we made so many memories as a family in that little apartment.  We went through so many challenges, and they seem small now compared to what we have faced since. 

Was it really better back then?  I asked myself that question a few times this evening as I flipped through album after album.  Things were hectic with four young children (the fifth not here yet) back then.  We were a newly blended family, still making our own path as a family put together instead of created slowly.  We were broke, but probably not more so in comparison to now.  We didn't have much in the way of material things. Things were simpler, and in some way that made things a little better.   I was beginning to think that things had been better then.

Then I remembered, we were lost.

Laura turns 4

My husband and I hadn't yet truly given our lives to Christ.  Things were simpler, and we had a pioneer spirit of togetherness and hard work.  Unfortunately, we also made many mistakes.  We did what we thought was right, not what Christ would have thought was right.  We had no true north, no foundation, no way to guide us except our feelings at the moment.   As a result, we are still dealing with the consequences of some of the choices we made back then. 

I enjoy looking at the pictures of back then.  Remembering how simple our life was back then makes me long for things to be simple once again.  I have felt God leading my family back to simplicity for awhile.  But, the "Good Ole Days" weren't better.  I hadn't known the joy of having a Megan in my life.  I hadn't watched with pride as my older children graduated high school and began college.  And despite the times that have been difficult since, such as the loss of loved ones or the financial challenges, I hadn't learned the lessons that I have now learned.  Most of all, I hadn't known the freedom and pure joy that comes from a true relationship with the living Christ... my Savior.

Mommy and Laura 2002

Nothing compares.  I have watched my girls give their lives to Christ and learn to follow Him.  I have watched my husband become a man of God, and nothing makes me love him more.  I remember who I was then, and the peace that can only come from walking with Christ was not there.

Those old albums show an interesting family history.  I'll cherish those moments that I captured on film.  But I know where God has led me, and what he led me and my husband and my children away from.  We were in bondage.  We weren't free. We were ignorant of the love of Christ.

I look at those old photos, and I see the path that we were on.  I see that God held us in the palm of His hand until the time and the situations and our hearts were ready and open to receive Christ.  I see how we tried so many different things to fill that void that only Christ can fill.  I see that preparation for us to accept Him, and give our lives to Him.  I see how God had others take our daughters to church when my husband and I weren't ready to make that leap with our whole hearts.  I see how God led us to the time when we came face to face with the question of who we were living our lives for really.  I see all of that, and I awe in how His plan was working in our lives even then.