Am I Spoon-Feeding My Child Her Schoolwork?

It was subtle at first.  A math lesson that my daughter didn't get, and I jumped in to "help".  Before I knew it, I was by her side through every math lesson.  Then, it seemed to spread to other subjects.  

This week I assigned a book to read.  There were no questions to be answered or workbooks to fill out.  It was only a book to read.  It was a little under my daughter's reading level, but one I feel is a classic that shouldn't be missed.  I didn't expect it to be a big deal.  It was just a book, and I had assigned many, many books over the years.  I didn't expect the attitude I received.  I didn't expect the whining, the complaining, the stalling, and the comment, "Can't you just read it to me?"!

It was a wake up call.  Oh, every child... and mother... has off days.  This is something more.  I am partly to blame.  I have let that attitude slide too many times.  I've let myself sit by my daughter during her math lessons, going through every single problem with her, feeling deep down that I was creating a problem.  I would tell myself, "She's not a math kid."  "It's not her strong subject."

What was I thinking?

I use a curriculum that gently guides a student to independent, self-learning.  Most of the time, that has been working wonderfully.  This year, the program isn't the problem.

It has become apparent to me that I am the problem.  From the attitude I have allowed to exist in my home to the way I see my role in my little homeschool, I can see that my child needs something different from me.  I have often felt that tug of discomfort when I step in to help my child just a little too much.  I think there comes a point when I go from a help to a crutch.  Am I to be a teacher or a coach?  I realize that there will be times I need to teach, but it shouldn't be to the point where I feel I have to spoon feed my daughter every morsel of information I want her to know.

"While the subject matter can be mastered with or without a teacher, the student who masters it without a teacher learns something more. He learns to teach himself."    -Dr. Art Robinson

I read this, and was taken back by the simplicity of it.  Yes, sometimes a child may struggle and have to have some help to grasp a concept.  So much of the time, however, I realized that my desires are to make education "fun" and maybe too "easy" for my children.  If she doesn't have to attempt to figure some problems out on her own, she won't ever grasp how to do this.

Despite her attitude toward reading the book she was assigned, we both love our read aloud time.  I wouldn't trade that for anything.   I can still enjoy read alouds and we can learn together, but these activities shouldn't replace the learning that she should be doing on her own. I don't want to be in the habit of reading to her books that she can and should read on her own.  I want her to enjoy reading her books, but sometimes a book might not be a particular favorite.  That's okay.

I am desiring the best education for my child.  I want her to have an excellent education.  I want her to live a life that honors God.  Teaching her to take the easy way to learn is not building in her the character that will lead to honoring God when it would be easier to do otherwise.  I guess I have learned just as strong a lesson as what I know I now need to teach my daughter.