I have come to realize that many of the beliefs I have held, that are the norm for those around me (in and out of the church) are not truly Biblical... but worldly. They are the secular beliefs formed and molded by current psychology and a couple generations of feminism. The more I read and study the Bible, and really pay attention to the meanings of the Scriptures for women, the more I realize I know very little about how God sees His daughters.
I feel that I've spent my life being lied to and deceived. Now I sift through verses for a study that I realize that God has intended for so much more than just attire, but for my heart. He loves me, and He created me. He created me as a woman... and what that means has been formed by what the world says so much more than what God says. And I don't believe God is sexist and wants to oppress His daughters. God loves His daughters!
I have had a lot of AHA moments over the last few weeks as I have studied and learned. I've been the career woman. I ran businesses and traveled. I've tried to do it all. Circumstances changed. I've felt the sting of comments because I chose to stay home a few years ago. Then, as I continued to stay home, those comments got more intense. Nothing was as intense, though, as when my husband was laid off. From that moment on it was all about me "getting a job" from many around me.
Isn't feminism about choice? Or is it only a choice when a family is financially well off? Should I completely change our homeschooling and everything in my children's world to go and "get a job"?
I honestly think it comes down to how we view children and mothering and prosperity. In our society today, a mother staying at home is not as respected as a mother that sends her child to daycare and "has a real job". I'm not trying to criticize those that do work, because many of my friends have made that choice. Some have had no choice due to their own financial setbacks. On the other hand, I should have the choice and be just as respected for it.
For centuries, women have been keepers of their homes. Staying home wasn't about them, but about their families.
I feel lied to about marriage, children, families, careers, and even about my body. I feel like I've spent most of my life wearing manly T-shirts and jeans, hiding the fact that I love being a woman, and wondering how I would ever raise my "large" family and have time for me. I feel that I've been very selfish, and that selfishness was encouraged by the world. But then I read in the Bible about the Proverbs 31 woman. Let me give a quick overview:
Her husband trusts her.
She enriches his life.
She brings him good not harm her entire life!
She works with her hands.
She serves her family.
She is intelligent with money.
She gives to those with less than her.
She is a creator.
She has strength and dignity.
She doesn't live in fear.
She is wise and kind.
She manages her household.
She is NOT lazy.
She is respected by her children and her husband praises her.
She fears the Lord.
Then I met the Titus 2 woman. She honors God. She is a role model for younger women. She doesn't gossip about others. Then I ran into a couple of verses that totally challenged my long held beliefs.
and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:4-5
In order to train younger women, the Titus woman had to do these things for herself. She loved her husband and children. She was self-controlled and pure. She worked at home. She was kind and submissive to her husband.
That's pretty counter-culture to the standards of today. I have read these verses before, of course, and thought them nice. It wasn't until my recent studies that these verses really hit home. I have been a stay at home mom for many years... longer than I've been a Christian. I became a stay at home mom because the cost of childcare was just too much for the number of young children we had at the time. But now, I can see how being a keeper at home has a purpose under God's plans.
I feel lied to about many areas that I won't even get into in this post. It has to do with so much more than modesty, though that series is not finished. I wonder how many other women, after they really dig into God's Word, feel as I do? How many of them feel they were lied to and even cheated out of what God wanted for them.
I won't live in the past... but this all does come to bear on the future. I am following God on faith. My Home Mission Field has just had some depth added to its missions. And all I can say is Thank You to the Holy Spirit for the amazing guidance and for helping me to open my eyes to some major heart issues.
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