Discpleship Versus Outreach

I have been serving in Children's ministry for several years. I feel strongly that we should be reaching children for Christ while they are young, while their hearts are tender and their belief is simple.  I spend a lot of time preparing lessons that I want to be creative and impactful, praying for children that I see for an hour once or twice a week, trying unsuccessfully to deal with behavioral difficulties of other children that are affecting my children, and longing to make a difference in the world for Christ.

I hear encouragement from other members of the church that often goes like this; "You never know until later what difference you made."  The idea is that I've planted seeds that might later grow into fruit.

I look at the children I once taught that are now in high school or starting to graduate.  So many of those young men and women have walked away from Christ.  These are children that went to the camps and conventions, heard the speakers and had the popular contemporary Christian music, were passionate in the powerful worship sets,  and were in the kid's churches and youth groups.  These are the kids that, at one point, were strong for Christ.  They invited their friends from school to church even if it got them teased.  They met at the flagpole for prayer, they even helped form the few school prayer groups.  These are the children that the church believed would lead in the future.

And most of them are walking away.   Statistically, only a small number will return when they have children of their own.  At first I wanted to play the blame game.  It's easy to blame the public schools or the lack of funding for kids programs.  But the truth is, it's something a lot more foundational than that.  It's our homes.

I am not writing this to cast blame.  I am writing this because I have been just as guilty.  I have had to ask myself, even as a homeschooling mother, what are my children living at home?  Yes, we have a Christian homeschool curriculum that is wonderful and honors God and teaches history and science from a Biblical worldview.  That is a giant step in the right direction.  But how often have I prayed with my children other than at dinner time or a quick recitation prayer at bedtime?  Have we wrapped our lives and our family around Christ or around our church and all the "programs" and "activities" in which we participate or even lead? 

"Programs" and "activities" are a tool we teachers use.  I truly believe that nearly all teachers of children and youth have a deep burden to reach young people for Christ.  We may have different gifts and abilities in this area, but our hearts are to see the young people find Jesus and teach them about His Word. Only a small percentage of teachers in the church have a paying position.  For most, it is a voluntary job that we do for Christ.  We don't care if we get paid.  We'll work the secular job to pay for our ministry habit.  We are desperate to reach a lost and dying generation.   Most of us feel we are failing, that we are not as effective as we would like. 

"Programs" and "activities" are a nice supplement in a child's life, and it is all that some children have.  I know that there are countless testimonies of how someone was saved at an event or a teaching changed their life.  I also know, however, that many are still walking away.  While there are exceptions to every rule, most of the children I see living for Christ as they get older were discipled at home... by their parents or at least one parent!  It isn't enough to just be the family that goes to church, it has to be lived out daily in our homes.  Timothy was a witness to faith through his grandmother and mother (2 Timothy 1:5).

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NKJV)

⁶ “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.


This is a popular verse among homeschoolers, but it should be popular among parents!  Our children receive conflicting messages when the main time our devotion for Christ shows is in a crisis and on Sundays ( if nothing better is going on).  I think many parents think that if they are taking their children to church each Sunday, that they are doing their job. If they have their children in a mid-week program, then they are doing great!

I've also seen the casualties of the blame game in ministry, but on a much deeper level.  I've watched parents verbally rip apart pastors and youth pastors (usually behind their backs) for failing their children.  I, sadly, have even done the same thing.  Then, I had it happen to me while teaching children.  I'll be honest, it hurt.  The parents didn't come to my husband or me.  They just went behind our backs and blasted us to others (felt like everyone)... while still sending their children to our classes.  Then, while in class, these children were acting out and repeating what they had heard from their parents to the other children.  I have since repented for my own failings in holding my "opinions". 

I took an honest look at my home and my own walk with Christ. Most of my children's struggles have not come from the church but from my home.  Even when mistakes are made by very human teachers, leaders, and pastors, I often didn't have an appropriate reaction myself, let alone teach my child to react properly.  If I were honest, I would have to admit that my reaction encouraged anger and rebellion in my children just by my example.  When I think about what early Christians went through, I feel ashamed at my pettiness. It doesn't take much time before we can find numerous "issues" with someone.  Most of us wouldn’t stand two minutes in the shoes of those early Christians who were cast out, hated, tortured, jailed, and martyred for their faith.   We are too busy complaining because our child isn't understood or has been treated poorly.  Yep, been there, done that, and am VERY ashamed.



I have prayed and prayed, and know that changes in my home must be made.  I also realize that changes must be made in my approach to ministry.  I think so many churches have confused the Great Commission.  What is it that Jesus said?

Matthew 28:19(NIV)

¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,(emphasis mine)

Make Disciples... Make Disciples... Make Disciples.  When I look at children's ministry, I have to ask myself if I am making disciples.  Honestly, I have been trying to reach everyone, to see them all saved.  I'm not advocating neglecting anyone.  However, I haven't focused on discipleship.  I venture to say that there is a difference between outreach and discipleship.  I have focused on outreach, and discipleship has been cast aside.  What is the difference?  I liked the definitions given by Wikipedia.

Outreach is an effort by individuals in an organization or group to connect its ideas or practices to the efforts of other organizations, groups, specific audiences or the general public.

In Christianity, the disciples were the students of Jesus during his ministry. While Jesus attracted a large following, the term disciple is commonly used to refer specifically to "the Twelve", an inner circle of men whose number perhaps represented the twelve tribes of Israel.
The word disciple is used today as a way of self-identification for those who seek to learn from the teachings of Jesus, such as the Sermon on the Mount.

Can you see the difference? We are to make disciples, and we can't do that without relationships.  The easiest place to make disciples is at home.  Oh, we can disciple at church, but it takes more than an hour a week.