Joy

JOY

This has been a term that has eluded me.  In my head the meaning is clear.  In my heart, my "joy" has been very circumstantial based.  I've always equated it with happiness, which is based on my emotions and circumstances.

In this new year, with others making resolutions, I am not.  I have some goals.  But mostly I want to search out joy.  Joy, simplicity, contentment... even as the world races and sometimes rages around me.

I get very challenged in this area, I admit.  I get 'emotional' easily.  Joy can elude me just because I haven't based it on what it should be based on... my life with Christ.  I can't give away something I don't have, so if I don't figure this out a little how am I supposed to teach my children to have joy?

It's already been quite a journey, this walk with Christ.  Trusting God to deal with situations is often difficult for me.  I want to take charge and fix things, to get things done, to have things finished.  My husband is more inclined, with his relaxed personality, to let God work in His own time.  Ironically, he stresses less and has more joy than most people I know... especially me.

So, this year, I am working on my thought life in Christ.  Working together with changing my thought life is learning about joy.  Such a simple word, with a simple meaning... and I can complicate it quickly.  Learning to live my life with joy is a challenge that is a bit intimidating because it means living with trust in God no matter what.  It's that no matter what that scares me at times, but I am determined to try.

I feel like I've lived a lot of my past in frustration, anger, and stress.  I don't want to live that way any longer.  God created this life to be about so much more than the problems.  I've let life be about the problems.  I've managed to focus on the negative.  I've managed to let my life get to the point where I refuse to live in this pit any longer.  I have been led to do so much more in life.

I have children to teach and guide into a closer relationship with God.  I have a husband that is wonderful.  I have a couple friends that have been there for me even when I didn't deserve it.  I have a family that God had blessed me it.  And most of all, I have a God that has saved me and is still teaching, loving, and guiding me.