I have come to learn that I need time to shut out the world, shut off the noise, and just be. I need time to pray, to read, to study, to fill up on all the lovely little introvert fills. Then I have the energy to tackle homeschooling and laundry and dinner and college classes.
This has to be intentional, as I have discovered. In the rush of life, even when I don’t leave my house because we are homeschooling, I have to take the time to be alone. I have to drink my coffee and spend a few minutes with God. I HAVE TO WRITE. This is central to me keeping sane. When I don’t write, whether in a journal or a blog, I feel myself reaching a boiling point where I can’t get out what I feel in any logical form. In fact, I then tend to overreact to anything and everything because I have had no outlet for all that is inside of me.
I have learned that stress physically makes me ill, and psychologically is detrimental to the point where people don’t like me when I’m stressed. I become a not nice wife and mommy when I’m stressed and overwhelmed and exhausted. I need my time to decompress and be alone. Sometimes it’s five minutes. Sometimes it’s a day. It’s a fact of life that I can do people for awhile, but then I need to escape.
Homeschooling is a joy. I love it. But I also know that my extroverted youngest daughter can weigh on me. Her stuff alone can overwhelm me. We have areas where we click, such as our love of reading, but she is high energy and ADHD, and I often feel overwhelmed trying to keep up with her. So, taking breaks is not a bad thing. If I want to be a good mommy to her. I have to have times where she goes to play and I can not be consumed with her messy room or constant noise.
My older daughter that is still home is an introvert also. She is happy to finish her school, check off her to-do list, and plug in her headphones. She may not be the book-lover that I am, but she has her “things” where she cocoons herself in her own world. This, I understand. Most of the time I let her have her space.
The magic of homeschooling is that my children can be who they are. My personality is unique. I live in my head, where I can play stories in my head like a movie. I crave alone time so that I can explore the world through books and various media. Homeschooling led me to learning about how children lean and how the brain works, which led me to learning about personality, which led to me learning about my children and myself. This, in turn, has benefitted my homeschool and our home.
And so, on this dark December evening, waiting for children to come home from their day away, candles lit on the entertainment center and dinner in the crock pot, I absorb as much quiet as I can. I let it surround me and sink into my soul. The time is short and soon the quiet will be disrupted once again. I will be able to enjoy the noise a bit and cherish the moments with my children because I was able to have some quiet. Like a gift, the quiet and time alone helps me to find calm and feel rest and peace after a season of busy and stress.
If there is one resolution I would make for the New Year, it would be to plan for more quiet.
No comments:
Post a Comment