It's a Calling

I tend to make circles in my homeschool.  I will try this or that and then circle back to what works for me.  God will lead me one way and, after a time, I'll think there is a better way, only to end up back to where He had called me in the first place.

I have no fear about trying new things.  However, recently God woke me up to some things about my homeschool that I needed to know and understand.

Let me preface by saying that parents everywhere were thrown into school-at-home last Spring due to Covid.  Thousands more are choosing to continue school-at-home using online services this upcoming school year due to concerns about Covid and all the regulations.  Many others are trading in their public school education and beginning a homeschool adventure.  The reasons people choose to bring their children home are numerous.   What applies to my homeschool and my family might not apply to someone else's; and that is okay.

Over a dozen years ago I began this journey.  I didn't intend to homeschool.  My older children were all public schooled until 2008.  My oldest daughter graduated from public school.  However, less than three years after becoming a Christian, God called me to homeschool. 

For all the various reasons parents have to choose homeschooling (many of which I share), I felt God called me to this journey.  And many times He has taught me just as much if not more than I have taught my children. 

But... a few years ago I got off track a bit.  I had only one "student" left.  I was going through a dark, rough time personally and spiritually.  I had begun college classes because I felt that if I did something I had always dreamed of doing (in this case, going back to college), I could snap myself out of the pain and depression I was in and do something for myself.  I gravitated toward independent work for my daughter that didn't need me to be as engaged and involved. 

Let me just say that the materials and methods were wonderful.  They weren't the problem.  And these materials allowed my daughter to keep learning while I did what I had to do in that time to get my mind and heart right.  I never anticipated the journey to take three years. 

Then, a few months ago, as I walked out of that time with lessons learned and my faith renewed, God showed me that my homeschool was not exactly inline with what He had called me to do.  He began to show me areas to change, even if they fly in the face of what I had been doing or what was popular.

1.  God called me to disciple my children.

One of the perks of homeschooling for a Christian family is that the children have the opportunity to be discipled.  Jesus called us to make go out and make disciples.

Desiring God has a beautiful article describing discipling and the definition of a disciple.  In the article, the author writes:

"The standard definition of “disciple” (noun) is someone who adheres to the teachings of another. It is a follower or a learner. It refers to someone who takes up the ways of someone else. Applied to Jesus, a disciple is someone who learns from him to live like him — someone who, because of God’s awakening grace, conforms his or her words and ways to the words and ways of Jesus."  -  Jonathan Parnell

The entire premise behind Home Mission Field has always been that God gave me my precious  children and He expects me to use the time I have with them to not just educate them, but to show them Jesus.  The ultimate decision to follow Christ or not follow Christ is up to them, but my job as their mother is to be obedient to God.

The independent materials, no matter how wonderful, do not disciple my child.  Why?  They may be Christian.  They may touch her heart at times.  But Jesus didn't hand the 12 Disciples some books and a checklist and say, "Here ya go, guys.  Learn this and go change the world."   Instead, He walked beside them most of the time.  He talked with them and ate with them and lived life with them.  He explained the Scriptures to them.  He taught them much, some of which didn't make sense until after Jesus had died and was resurrected.  These men went out to change the world after Jesus ascended into Heaven because they had witnessed and experienced discipleship with the King of Kings. 

Discipleship is hands-on.  It requires time.  It requires being with my child as we study Scripture or learn history.  Yes, there is still much she does and can do independently.  She doesn't need me to spoon-feed her.  However, she does need a Godly mother feeding into her life, praying for her, walking her through the challenging math problems, memorizing Philippians with her.  She needs me to discuss that history lesson and why it matters today.  I don't want to just be a guide or a coach.  I want to mentor and love and explain and... disciple.  

2.  Homeschooling gives us time.

I like the idea of independent inquiry.  I like my daughter being able to follow her passions and interests.  I think having some time to do these things is important.  However, this became very stressful for us both.  When she would find something that interested her, she would read every book she could about that interest.  She would watch documentaries.  While she had a fire or passion for a topic, it brought great delight to our school.  However, it did begin to bog us both down.  She would run through a passion, and then have no motivation for awhile.  She didn't want to find something else to study.  She didn't want to take something she enjoyed and make it a project.  And I stressed trying to find her information.  I would take her to the library to find books, and she would have already read all the book our local library had.  The late fees I accumulated trying to keep track of all the books and due dates were ridiculous.  .

Then I realized that having a scope and sequence to our homeschool wasn't a bad thing.  First, it exposes my daughter to many different areas she might not encounter in daily life.  Some of those topics she is exposed to might spark a passion or interest beyond what she already holds.  And when those sparks occur, she still has plenty of time to research and delve to her heart's content.  After all, homeschooling doesn't take nearly the time public school takes.  And when the current interest lulls, she still has a foundation and a routine to keep learning and exploring. 

3. "Expert" versus "Life-Long Learner"

There is a philosophy that I have read quite a bit about that discusses how a child that follows their own interests can become an "expert" in their field, often much earlier than those that have to wait until they are older to do so.  And, in some cases, this is true.  However, while I want my daughter to have the ability to delve into her interests and passions, I know the reality.  Her interests will change.  She is a child.  She didn't really need to become an "expert" in any of the topics she chose to study to gain a quality understanding of it.  And, as she gets older, she may delve into something more deeply.  Or, she may choose instead to delve into something else.

One of my daughters loved performing and putting on plays.  She would organize her sisters on days at home to put on "shows."  She still loves theater to this day.  But, she is not an actress by trade.  In fact, as much as she wishes she had time to participate in local theater, She is a pastor and a worship leader for her career.  As much as she had an interest in something, what she was called to do is not what she thought as a girl she would do. 

That's the way God works.  I thought, as a child, I would be a lawyer.  Nope.  Many children want to be a superhero.  Even a person graduating from high school may not know what they want to pursue or change their mind later.  This isn't because they didn't pursue their interests (though that is a factor in some), but because their brains are still developing.  Who they are at 18 isn't going to be the same as who they are at 28.   This is often why people end up doing a job that has nothing to do with the major they had in college.  So, if my child loves volcanoes at 10 and horses at 12, and studies everything about them for a couple years until she had enough knowledge to rival a college graduate; it isn't a guarantee she will become a scientist or a veterinarian or even own a farm. 

I want my daughter to pursue her interests.  However, I have learned that she doesn't need to become an "expert."  Pursuing the topics that spark her interest and being exposed to many topics that might not spark her interest will help her to see that learning isn't just about what she wants, but that it should be a life-long pursuit.  As a Christian, learning about the Lord is a life-long pursuit.  Many of the things He gives for me to learn are not necessarily "fun;" but they are all important.

4.  Not Everything Is Fun

I was excited to go back to college a few years ago, but I quickly remembered that sometimes there were things I didn't want to do mixed with the things I enjoyed.  For a long-time, as a life-long learner, I had studied what I needed to know or what caught my interest for the most part.  What did that not include?  Math.

I had to put myself through the algebra class my older daughters had used in homeschooling before I took placement testing for college.  And then I had a math class to take as one of my subjects, even though my major wasn't something that would require upper-level math.  It wasn't fun, but I did learn a lot.  I had gotten some practice by helping my daughters in homeschooling, but they passed me and kept going. 

Life will include things we have to do that aren't fun.  My youngest daughter shares my reticence for math.  However, she needs to know it, even if she thinks she won't use it.  At the very least, math teaches logical and orderly thinking.  She might not care about that at her age, but she will appreciate this when she is older. 

Beyond school, there are many things I don't enjoy.  Like dishes, they are a part of life.  My children have to learn to deal with things they don't enjoy and to do so with determination and grace.  Even Jesus told us we would have to do things we didn't enjoy.  For instance, it isn't always easy or enjoyable to forgive those that have hurt us.  And yet, He commanded it.  He commanded it for our own good. 

In Conclusion

I'm a bit of an eclectic homeschooler these days.  I have a couple trusted resources that are my main go-to resources, and I'm okay with the simplicity of that.  When a passion takes hold of my daughter, I have no problem running her to the library to see what we can find or looking for resources and documentaries online. 

Ironically, we are enjoying school more now.  And, I know that I am back to doing what God has called me to do.