Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Like Out Of Remission

When we moved into our tiny apartment twenty months ago, it was a devastating time.  I had no dreams left.  It was like a death of a loved one, leaving our home of ten years.  Even now, when I see pictures, I long to go visit that friend, even though that friend was making us sick. Our "home" was full of mold.  It would need to be gutted, treated... And we could not afford those options. 

I had prayed and prayed for God to help us.  It seemed like He wasn't answering. Our home, then our car... Both damaged beyond repair.  It took ten months before we could purchase another car of our own for our family.  That was ten months of borrowing cars and asking for rides. We walked often, thankful that we had chosen a place to live that was near stores. 

The changes continued in our lives. 

What would God do? Surely He wasn't changing my husband's employer just a few months after we moved.  And yet, it was a change we welcomed.  It was a change that bolstered my husband's spirit immensely after feeling like a failure, like we let God down. 

 Surely God wasn't asking us to step away from leadership at our church and venture out.  Surely we had dealt with enough change.  Surely He wasn't asking us to find out who we were in Him outside of the familiar where we had spent so many years serving and learning.

He did. The lessons have been many.

Now... As we wonder what God will show us next, God has reminded me of His ability to know best.  He knew me before I was formed. 

I read once that we get much of our DNA from our grandparents.  I had some grandparents that loved traveling!  One set of grandparents were traveling evangelists.  The other set lived in one home for fifty years, but my grandma visited so many places all over the world in those years. The travel bug runs deep. For many years that bug has sat dormant.  Now it has exploded inside me like a cancer out of remission. 

I squashed it for years.  I moved often as a child and it was difficult.  I was always the new girl.  Then I married a man in the military and was able to travel the United States a little bit. When my marriage fell apart, I moved home.  I remarried a local boy and have been here since. 

Jesus gave me beauty for ashes.  The years were not often easy ones. He showed me Himself.  Even as my husband and I lost so much, He is still showing me so much. 

I felt like a part of me died when we moved.  I would sacrifice anything for my children, including our home when mold was wrecking havoc.  Would there ever be another home I would want to own?

Well... It may take time to figure it all out, and God could change my heart, but I want to RV fulltime. 

More and more younger people are RVing fulltime.  Many can work online.  They have grand adventures.  Their children get a top education between traveling and homeschooling.  This article discusses how the age of the average RVer is decreasing as younger singles, couples, and singles jump into this lifestyle.

http://www.cnbc.com/2015/03/28/stry-thriving-is-getting-younger.html

My reasons are varied.  I long to travel.  I had a cancer scare a couple months ago and I realized that I want to live life doing some of the things I enjoy.  Yes, I love homeschooling.  But I long for experiences for me. 

I've owned the house.  It was a slow death by money pit that eventually attacked my physical body.  Rent is ridiculous. I live in one of the poorer apartments in town, and the rent is 43% of our income.  Yes, I know that is high.
We try to make up for it with free water and living close to stores. 

I figure it will take some time to get finances figured out before we could afford to purchase an RV.  In that time, God is free to step in the way or facilitate the process.  Maybe He'll change my heart to where I want to stay. My older girls are trying to have grand-babies.  I'm sure leaving them will be a new level to consider. 

I could always wait till retirement age.  That's the traditional path.  

But... I want to take children with.  Megan is only eight.  I consider showing her the wonders of traveling as something to look forward to. 

I look at RVs online and read every article. I spot them as I'm driving down the road. I've even read how horrible they are as an investment because they depreciate so greatly.  

I consider the experiences worth more. 

Until that day when my family can move forward without plan, I must content myself with local trips and getting outside my four walls.  I have determined to find adventure where God has me until He leads me to more.
 



1 comment:

~a homemaker said...

Oh my, it sounds like we have health issues that forced us both from a house called "home" for years and years to living in a tiny apartment. Dear friend, I will be pausing to pray for you and your family as I truly can relate so much. {if you care to know my story, it's on my blog under "health update" on a graphic in the sidebar}.

Among the trial, I still give thanks for all His good and try to find joy in this teeny tiny apartment we are trying to make home.

Blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving!

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