Stress does a number of things to a a person. For me, it got to my health. Even as I work to regain health, I find that the passion I once held for certain things isn't the same. In some cases, God has giving me new passions. In other areas, the fire just needed reawakened.
That is how homeschooling has felt. As we adjusted to various changes, I felt the drain in me where school was concerned. I needed my passion back. I needed to feel that what I was doing with my children was making a difference in their lives and, more importantly, in their hearts.
With teenagers, it is sometimes difficult to tell if they are growing closer to the Lord. I would see them learn lessons, but the fruit was sometimes not what I wanted.
I felt the Lord tell me that my job is to teach them and pray for them and do my best. It wasn't my job to decide for them the choices that only they can make. All that I am doing won't guarantee they will follow Christ. He gave them free will, the same as all of his precious children.
But I have more than one child at home. I still have my eight year old. Right now we are reading The Little Princess, which she got for Christmas from her oldest sister. That sister is a bookworm also, and she gave one of her favorites to her baby sis. The Little Princess is one of my favorites also.
Just the act of reading a favorite book has helped restore my passion for teaching my own children. This isn't a book we HAVE to read, but one we love to read.
Earlier today I was going through my youngest's Bible study of Psalms. I was quite impressed! This study encouraged me. It is deep and enriching and will draw her heart closer to the Lord. The mere act of reading and copying the Scriptures gave fire back into my heart.
Homeschooling is tough. Our hearts are often on our sleeves as we hope and pray that our child develops a true relationship through Christ and with Christ.
I plan to rest this break so that, when I return, it can be with joy!
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