New View, God's Plan, and Letting Go of the American Dream

The view from our apartment balcony. 

Sometimes it is difficult to see what the Lord is doing. As my husband and I go through the process of moving to a different place, we find things we stored in our house that we hadn't seen in years.  We remember.  Those memories can be bittersweet since so many of them occurred in the house we will live in no longer. 

But, God brings new days.  He brings new memories.  Whether is was the seventh birthday party for Megan, the nights when my grown daughter spends the night because we are closer to her job than where she lives, or the moments of arranging my pictures on the walls, making our little apartment into a home; we are adjusting.  I am doing my best to get back into a routine.  It's difficult some days as we still are sorting through things.  Ten years in a house has led to the acquiring of a LOT of stuff.  Much of that stuff we have given or thrown away.

We have begun to do school once again.  We took off a week to move in, began what we could, then took off another week as we had more to move.  Though we are still arranging and moving things, organizing as we go, we have begun school.

 It's the little things that mean so much:  Watching a movie together on the couch, having Bible time together in the mornings, getting library cards at the new library, making milkshakes in the evening.  I have been babysitting a couple of little children that are a little younger than Megan.  This has helped Megan with the adjusting because she has friends that keep her busy. 

The hope is that my husband and I can get on our feet financially.  We've been dealt a rough blow with our house making us sick.  But, we are determined to come out on the other side of this tough time.  We've learned some lessons and have spent a lot of time drawing closer to the Lord.  We know that His plans are greater than ours.
I was reading Breakfast with Bonhoeffer by Jon Walker the other day.  I have been delving into the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer recently.  Jon Walker talks about how, when he lost his home, it was so difficult.  He discusses the "American Dream" and how entrenched it is in our psyche, so much that we believe that this is God's will for us.

     "You wish for the stability of your children growing up in a home in a safe neighborhood, near good schools that lead to best friends and prom dates, for the boys coming home and playing football in the backyard and Nerf combat in the living room.  A barbecue on the back porch.  The White picket fence."

Yep, that was my dream.  I wanted that family home, that place where my kids could grow up and make memories.  I wanted them to walk into "home" years later, with their own children, for holidays, and remember their childhood.  I wanted them to have these amazing roots.  But after ten years, the fact that our health was at risk couldn't be ignored. 

This thought by Jon Walker was eye-opening for me:
    
     "In Kingdom living, is it possible God knows the very place that will help my sons grow spiritually and become everything he created them to be, whether that's a house, an apartment, or a hut?"

I have daughters, but the concept is the same.  It's about trust.  Do I trust the Lord?  He has never failed me, even though things have been rough before.   He was there when my husband was unemployed.  He was there when we stepped out in faith and began homeschooling.  He was there when we had to go to court and fight to protect my step-daughter from an abusive situation.  He was there when my older daughters dealt with diagnosis and complications from type 1 diabetes.  He'll be here now as we go through changes in our world.  I pray He'll see us through, guiding us every step of the way. 

The view from our window is different.  Our lives have altered somewhat.  The view of my Lord is also new, because no longer can I see Him in relation to the American Dream.  His plan may be different.  I have had to ask myself if I want the American Dream or God's plan.  One day the Lord may provide that home.  But if He never does, if His plan is different, I know that one day I will have a home in heaven with Him.