It was a punch in the gut. There were no words. I simply sat and cried. What do you do when, after a very busy time, you finally get to grading and discover, unbelievably, that one of your children hasn't been doing a good portion of her schoolwork for WEEKS?
I texted my husband at his job. It seemed like the last few weeks had overwhelmed me, and this was the tipping point. I have run into times in homeschooling of tears, frustrations, doubts, and anger. But this...it was too much. I was ready to quit.
Stretched between three students, each at different levels, I could feel the pressure of nor being able to keep up. A first grader, an eighth grader, and a tenth grader; one starting U.S. History, one finishing up the Renaissance, and the last studying the American Revolution; each child needing time and attention.
My husband came in the next morning, grounded the child at fault, took away electronic toys, and stated that she would stay grounded until the work was caught up. It took two weeks for her to get caught up.
On her part, this is a heart issue. Not doing the work, and lying about it, is not a learning issue or a time issue. She simply blew of the work because she didn't like it. She did the subjects she enjoys, and avoided the others. She lied when asked if her work was done. So...she is still grounded.
I realized, however, that my load isn't lightened. I still have three children in three separate sections of the house, doing work that has nothing to do with what anyone else may be learning. I'm frustrated, as are they. I spend a large chunk of my time doing school with the first grader since she needs the most individualized attention.
How do moms with five or six or more children, all at school age, do it all?
I'm praying about what to do. I have a large amount of money invested into this year. I bought a history rich program, and my oldest hates history. While she finds learning history through stories better than text books, she still doesn't enjoy it.
Meanwhile, I know that the scenario where a child blows off certain subjects could happen again. It's happened before, though that was a different child.
I've been praying. Good have me the image of a one-room schoolhouse. Yes, children will be at different levels or have different subjects, but many can be combined. Last night I pulled out the old book, Teaching Tips and Techniques, by Rebecca Avery. I was reminded about how different children learn, and why I am teaching my children at home.
"It is the concept of infinite eternity and finite time that instills within me a sense of urgency in teaching my children. Because my influence and time is limited, I must teach every lesson the best I can. I must create and provide every experience for my children that I can. But more importantly, I must be certain my children know the voice of Jesus. For only He will continue the formation of the soft heart of my child when I am no longer I'm a position to influence the child." Rebecca Avery
I felt God impress upon me that I'm focused too much on academics, and not enough on Him. Academics are important, but I need to relax and let Him handle things instead of stressing so much. He gave me ideas and plans quickly, and I nearly cried in relief.
I'll be praying the next few weeks over the direction God has given me. Most of it is attitude...mine, not the kids, and I am grateful. Things don't always go as planned, but God is in charge.
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