Overcoming Being a Negative Christian

Lately, God has been dealing with me about my words.  In the past, as an unsaved woman, my words were often vile.  Yes, I am a reformed curser.

After years of the spewing offensive curse words, I had developed very bad habits. These habits were deeply ingrained from years of use.  In fact, I've caught myself, in a moment of frustration or anger, after being saved, wondering why the old me can sneak so easily into the new creation Christ made me.  Habits can take a long time to break.  

Even more insidious than the cursing was something that stayed with me, is still with me:  Negativity.  Cursing is blatantly offensive.  It's blurted out for all the world to hear.  It's embarrassing, as a Christian, to curse in front of others.  I don't want to curse, but the habit, so long ingrained by constant use, takes a long time to kick.  (God has slowly dealt with me in this area too.  Cursing is a habit that Christ has helped me with immensely.) Negativity, however, is more insidious.  It's not always blatant.  In fact, sometimes, no one even hears it.  It's in our thoughts, it's in our words, it's in our hearts.  I truly believe that kicking the cursing habit is so much easier than kicking the negativity from our hearts, thoughts, and speech.

I was watching a speech given by Michelle Duggar.  (Yes, I know that some of you love her and some of you hate her.)  My heart was tugged at her words.  She was talking about the importance of praising others, whether it be her husband or her children.  I had also read where the Jewish people, in family ceremonies, speak blessings over their children.  In the Bible, speaking blessings was an important part of heritage and culture.  Michelle Duggar's words pulled at me because I struggle with this area.  I naturally see the negative.  My words, the tone of my voice, my thoughts; they tend to be negative and often harsh.  

There seems to be a lot of people that criticize "Word of Faith" pastors as "prosperity" preachers and false teachers.  They are called selfish because their sermons are people-centered, not God centered.  And yet, as I read my Bible, I am showed proof over and over that the words we speak are important.  I'm not talking about confessing blessings and then buying a new car I can't afford because I believe "I" should be blessed.  I'm talking about attitude affecting our worldview and the words we speak.

You want to talk about selfishness and the words we speak?  Being negative is easy.  It's easy to think the worst about people and circumstances.  It's easy to see the glass as half-empty.  Why?  Because, if you don't expect anything good, you won't be disappointed when things don't work out the way you want.  If things then go good, you can say you are pleasantly surprised, but the truth is you won't even notice that things went good.  You will find something wrong with everything.  

As a negative person, you are easily offended.  Someone in church doesn't give you the hello you hope for or expect, then you instantly are hurt and upset.  I've seen this kind of thing ruin a whole service, an entire day, for others... and sadly, for myself.  Even a casual comment can be taken wrong and cause problems.  And when someone does offend you, as a negative person, you can carry that grudge a LONG time.  This doesn't just touch our lives in church, but our lives in our homes and with our families.  How many husbands and wives carry grudges over issues?  How many children blame their parents for things?  (I'm not talking about abusive or dangerous situations that should be dealt with properly.)

As a negative person, it is easy to hold onto bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger.  In fact, we often rehash the things that have happened to us, the hurts and offenses, over and over and over and over.  We rehash them in our minds.  We rehash them to our friends.  We relive it so often that we can take something small and make it huge in our hearts and minds.  We can also take those big things and let them dictate us forever. 

Negative people are defensive.  They have to defend themselves a lot because others tend to lash back and argue against the negative person.  Or, they avoid the negative person.  Then that negative person is defensive because they have been "abandoned".

Negative people don't trust God.  Think this through for a moment. If you are angry at someone, aren't you commanded to go to them?  Aren't you commanded to pray for them?  Aren't you commanded to go to them a second time with others?  Instead, you've not prayed.  You've told everyone you know how hurt you are.  You've had a poor attitude.  You've not forgiven an offense.  You haven't trusted God to be your vindicator.  Instead, you have been miserable.  The fired up feeling in your gut that kept you going has begun to fade, and so you rehash it all again to get worked up again so that you don't get hurt again.  All of it could have been avoided if you had just been obedient to God and trusted Him.   Even if the other person didn't care about your offense, you will have the peace of turning the entire thing over to God knowing you did as He commanded and there is nothing else to do.

I've seen a lot of negative Christians.  I have been one. I still struggle.  Let me tell you, negativity is sin.  I was always the one to say. "Well, at least I'm being honest." or "I'm just being realistic."  Rarely, in my "honesty" was I led by the Holy Spirit or by the Bible.  I was led by my negative, often volatile emotions.  I didn't pray before I said that "honest, realistic" comment that crushed the person I was speaking to.  

Having a negative attitude, thinking negatively, saying negative things, is speaking death.  It touches and can permanently damage our lives, the lives of our spouses, the lives of our children, and the lives of everyone we are around.  Sometimes all we want is acceptance and love, but our negative words and actions will drive those away from us that would love and accept us.  The only one not afraid of our negativity is Christ, but He is honest in His Word:  But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips (Colossians 3:8); Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice (Ephesians 4:31).

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.  

Proverbs 18:21

"I teach people to understand that a thought is a real thing.  I think many people think that a thought is merely something out there that they can't feel or touch.  But, it's actually a real thing.  As you're thinking, you're actually building memories in your brain and the thoughts in your brain look like trees.  The interesting thing is that if the thought is a good one, based on something positive, that is actually looks different in the brain than a negative thought does.  The toxic thought, as I refer to them, will affect your entire body.  They form a different type of chemical than a positive thought does.  The toxic thought causes little thorns to grow  on the branches in the nerve cells.  These thorns are actually a little pocket of chemicals, and those chemicals are toxic.  They squirt out their poison that can make you sick. The poison goes first to the heart and begins to choke it, then it goes to the immune system and breaks down your defenses and makes it easier for disease to germinate in your body.
It takes four days to start taking the thorns off the trees.  It takes twenty-one days to actually establish a memory without the thorns, and then you grow a new memory over the old one." - Dr. Caroline Leaf, in the book Living Beyond Your Feelings by Joyce Meyer.

I have developed health issues.  While many of them may be stemming from not eating or exercising properly over the years, I also know that stress and negativity has impacted my health greatly.  I have fought depression, severe anger problems, and unforgiveness.  Even as a Christian, these things didn't miraculously disappear.  In time God has opened my eyes to many things, and dealt slowly with issues.  I have gone through circumstances that were very difficult, some that I didn't think I would get through.  And yet, God was there.  He was using those things to teach me, to walk with me.  When He tells me that the way I am speaking is not representing Him, and that as an ambassador for Christ and a child of God I can do better, I believe Him.

God has told me to do things that are hard, not "prosperity" minded.  He has told me to treat my body as the temple He created, and eat healthy and exercise.  He has told me to train my children to serve Him by homeschooling.  He has told me to be mission-minded, because He is Lord over ALL the Earth.  He has told me to get out of debt so that I may be more free to serve where He needs.  He has told me to renew my mind by purposely thinking Godly thoughts from His Word.  He has told me to change my words.  Prosperity, Word of Faith ... blah, blah, blah (sorry, that might be a tad negative, lol.).  I have a problem in this area.  He wants me to fix it with His help so that I can serve Him effectively, not so I can have some get-rich mentality or feel entitled to riches because I am a Christian.  However, being a good steward of my material possessions could mean that my family does better financially, so that we can do more for Christ.  If we make the same as someone else, but have little debt, it stands to reason that we can contribute more to giving, missions, and serving.  Serving in any physical capacity becomes a challenge when a person is sick from years of depression or negativity flowing through their bodies.

In December God placed into my spirit to be a prayer warrior.  I have tried to spend time daily in prayer, and read materials about prayer.  It was during prayer that I felt God tell me to get my thoughts and words in line with Him, to purposely think and say what He says in the Bible as I meditate on His Word.    I expect that this will be a journey, not a weekend get-away.