A Renewed Vision

I have been a stay at home mom for over twelve years.  I have been a homeschool mom for four.  In all that time my husband and I have had many financial ups and downs.  We have had times of good pay and benefits, and times of unemployment.  It has been a challenge many times to continue to be a stay at home mom.  I know that God called me to be home.  I know that He called me to homeschool my children.  It isn't always easy.

There was a time when I was the career woman.  I managed businesses.  I was flown to other states for training.  I had a "professional" wardrobe.  I had traveled all over the United States.  I loved the adventure, craved the ambition, and swallowed the pain of missing my children as I dropped them off at the babysitter.

Knowing that I had the "potential" to make a certain amount of money a year, but feeling that God had told me to stay home, created in me a frustration when our finances were a struggle.  I honestly felt that, if God had called me to stay home, it shouldn't be such a challenge.  After all, I was being obedient!  Right?

Well, God doesn't always do things the way we think should be done.  In fact, I believe He rarely does.

I recently came across some articles and a book that have helped me to change my perspective.  First, I read the book Passionate Housewives Desperate for God.  The wonderful ladies that wrote this book are not of my denomination.  A few years ago, I would have gotten angry at the message they tried to share in this book.  After all, I had been a career woman.  I had gotten the college education and been the boss.  I had raised my older girls to be independent, so that they wouldn't find themselves like their mom did:  divorced by a man that left for another woman, broke, working at a minimum wage job, with children that needed stability in a world where their stability had been ripped away.  However, on the other end of the spectrum, after I remarried I found myself a stay-at-home mom.  I am the housewife that was criticized by other women, even Christian women, for staying at home when my husband and I hit financial struggles.  I am the only homeschooling mom in my church, and that can sometimes be a lonely place.  I am trying to do as God has called me, and even if this season of my life lasts another 12 years (till my youngest graduates), I will still have plenty of time left to work or go back to school or become a missionary to some foreign country or to help my daughters homeschool their children.

One quote that just floored my and brought such joy to my heart was this:  "Homemaking isn't about starched aprons, pearls, and high heels.  It's about doing the will of God even when the world scoffs.  It's about loving the high calling that God especially has given to women.  It's about learning to trust when circumstances would tell us to doubt and fear."

Passionate Housewives Desperate for God was uplifting and encouraging.  It showed me, for maybe the first time, was that my managerial skills are not only about coming up with the homeschool schedule.  It showed me that my job, as the manager of my home, was to make the dollars my husband makes stretch to provide.  That, just because I wasn't bringing in a paycheck, didn't mean that I couldn't put in a few hours a week to find ways to save money and cut corners whenever possible.

 I was researching money saving tips when I came across a blog series that was just awesome!  The Peaceful Mom wrote a blog series entitled Living on Less than $28,000 a Year.  While it is full of money saving tips, what struck me was that the author was very honest that it took her deciding that she couldn't look longingly back to the days when she was a career woman and money was more plentiful.  Her heart longed to be home with her children, and that meant sacrifice.  It meant working toward staying home, even when your husband makes what the United States Government states is poverty level.  She looked hard at every area and found ways to save, whether by consuming less or by planning more.

This then led me to the book Miserly Moms: Living Well on Less in a Tough Economy by Jonni McCoy.  So far, I am only on chapter 6.  This book seems to reinforce the same principle that, by staying home, I can use my managerial skills to find ways to cut costs and "trim the fat".

The truth is, for hundreds of years, women primarily stayed home.  Even during the Great Depression, women might bring in sewing, but the premise was that a woman stopped working and stayed home to manage the house once she got married.  Our culture has changed quite a bit since that time.  If a woman stays home now, she is made to feel as if she isn't using her gifts to their full capacity.  And yet, I've been challenged to use those very gifts that I used in a paying job, to ensure that I can continue to teach my children, be a homemaker, and follow what God has called me to do.

It is sad, in our culture, that even Christian women only feel free to follow what they believe Christ has called them to do as long as that calling is "professional" in its scope.  Meaning, if I was called as a Christian woman to be a worship leader, there are few that would have a problem with that (until they heard me sing, lol). If I was called to be a professional business woman or a doctor or an accountant, I would hear cheers going up from all around.  But, I am a homeschooling homemaker.  That job title has no pay, no vacation package, no title.  It is generally assumed to have no value.  The quote, "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world." holds no meaning any longer to most mothers.  Staying at home is equated with unenlightened and old-fashioned.  It isn't equated with business man or educated teacher or gourmet chef.

And yet, I feel challenged now, encouraged, in a way I haven't been in a long time. I see that, to limit the meaning of my role is to say that God's plan has a flaw.  I thank God for leading me to the wonderful articles and books that have showed me that staying at home is not only okay, it is a job that, by looking at my work as for the Lord, will have eternal rewards.  He has renewed the vision of My Home Mission Field.