Lessons from the Valley pt. 1

It's official. My oldest daughter has officially been accepted at the Christian college she's longed to go to. Instead of online courses at a community college, she'll be studying music and worship ministry... Her dream.

It's been a long road for her.  She's the first to admit that she's walked a rocky road for a bit in her faith. While I know Christ will use the tough lessons learned, they came with a lot of pain. Some of those lessons were for our entire family, not just for her alone.

Since she was thirteen, my oldest has struggled to manage type 1 diabetes. We were told from the beginning that it would get tough. At first we thought the doctors were wrong. The first year consisted of adjusting to a new normal.  Then the "honeymoon", as the doctors labeled it, was over.  The"honeymoon" is usually classified as that first year where, though not working at full capacity, the pancreas is still producing some of its own insulin, causing the patient to not have the severe blood sugar variances that come later.  The ups and down of the next few years, the hospital trips, the illnesses... It was stressful. Last summer my daughter nearly died from dehydration after swimming in the heat with friends.  That was a scary time, and we know God saved her for his purposes.

Diabetes is a tough disease. It's manageable, but the hormone fluctuations and emotional roller coaster rides of the teenage years can make that management difficult.  Menstruation, illnesses, heat, even the stress of tests at school all brought on blood sugar extremes. 

Then there were all the illnesses and hospital trips caused by my daughter's own struggle. She didn't want to be different from her friends. She didn't want to have to take shots or test her blood sugar, especially in front of her friends. She felt imprisoned by the equipment she had to take with her: meters, insulin pump or insulin pens, syringes. 

She questioned God for a long time. Some days she still does.

She still worries that the disease will limit her.  She wonders if she'll be able to do ministry the way she desires. She fears that having children will be difficult. 

Trusting God to hold her in the palm of His hand has been a spiritual challenge for me as well as for her. Yet, in those Valleys, sitting in ICU rooms, my child hooked up to monitors and IVs; riding with her in an ambulance while she is incoherent; or watching her fly away in a lifeline helicopter; my faith was tested over and over.

When my oldest nearly died last June, and the doctors told me that she should have been dead with her numbers, I could only cry out to Him. I was drawn to the song Mercy by Casting Crowns. I listened to it sang it over and over on the hour drive to and from the hospital where my daughter clung to life. God, in His mercy, saved my daughter.  I came to the realization that, if not for His mercy, none of us would have the opportunity to be saved.  "His mercy saved me, mercy made me whole."

God can call any of us home at any time.  He has allowed my daughter to stay here. I'm grateful because I can't imagine my life without her, but I know He kept her here for His purposes and plans to be fulfilled.