I know that it is a normal thing, and a good thing, for a child to grow up and begin life on their own. And yet, I struggle to let go the way I probably should. I don't want to be that over-bearing mother, calling or texting non-stop until my children are annoyed with me. I have been praying for God to bring peace to my mother's heart.
Technically, my oldest daughter lives at home. And yet, she is a busy young woman. She has dealt with numerous health challenges that have made working difficult. She had to choose to stay at home, for now, and not work so that she could continue her college education. However, she isn't a child any longer. She is a young woman with friends, ministry responsibilities, college classes, and future plans. She is wanting and planning to transfer to a Christian college in the fall, moving a few states away. She also has a young man that is wanting to court her, but he is also in college studying to be a pastor. The fact that my daughter has changed her opinions from a dating mindset to a courting mindset is nothing more than a miraculous answer to prayer.
My oldest moved out last year to live in Louisiana with her father. However, after a couple of months, she was missing her family and church here. She loves her father and his family, and prays for their salvation daily, but living in a non-Christian household was very difficult for her. She struggled to find a place in a new church that she was attending alone. She wanted so desperately to reach her father and his family for Christ, but learned how challenging it can be to be immersed in a lifestyle so worldly.
My other young adult daughter has taken me by surprise. She was the "Mommy's Girl". I was caught off-guard when, two weeks after her 18th birthday, she moved out. She is doing her college classes on her own and is saving her money for a car. I have struggled with her moving, heartbroken that she isn't here and left so quickly.
I know, in my head, that my goal in motherhood is to raise self-sufficient children that love Christ and follow Him with their lives. Letting go of them though is another story. It is an adjustment that seemed to happen so quickly.
Last night I was searching through my notebooks and ran across the notes I took on the book by Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Parent. That book was so wonderful and helped me immensely pray for my children when I first became a Christian. Then I realized that Stormie Omartian has a newer book out entitled, The Power of Praying for your Adult Children.
Late last night, after some deliberation and prayer, I purchased the book for my Nook and began reading. I've only gotten a couple of chapters in, and I already feel a sense of release from the burden of my children moving out. I can only thank God for leading me to those notes I took several years ago, and for the reminder that there are others that have dealt with these circumstances and understand.
I have been reminded of the power of prayer, especially by a mother crying out for her children. I have been reminded that my children are on loan to me anyway for a little while, but that God is their Heavenly Father and He is the one in control. It may be a process, a new normal in my life, but I have few regrets.
I quit working to stay home with my children nearly twelve years ago. While I didn't homeschool for much of that time, I did purpose to be an active participant in the lives of my children. I purposed to enjoy them, even if we didn't have a lot of money. I purposed to give them something so few children get today... a devoted mother. When I became a Christian, that role only took on more significance. Now that I've spent years fulfilling that role, letting go of it and taking on a different role is more difficult than I imagined.
So often the importance and responsibility of motherhood is not stressed, even in the church. This is the age of self-fulfillment, where a career often holds more pull that being a mom. I think that times like this, when being a mother seems to be unrewarded, when as a mother you just feel like you aren't needed any longer, is the moment when doubts creep in about choosing to stay home and give up other things. And yet, when I look back through the years, I know that I was there, enjoying my family and our times together. Nothing, no job or outside activity, will ever replace the time I have had with my daughters.
So while my role is changing, and what was normal two years ago is not normal now, I still have a job as a mother to my adult children. I know the connection with my daughters will never end, even when I miss their presence at my breakfast table or playing Phase 10 for hours. I know that praying for them as God moves them into adulthood and the plans He has for them is important. I am excited to read more of The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children as I feel that God has led me to a source of strength based on His Word. For the first time in months, I am beginning to feel a sense of peace about my children moving out and making decisions that I am surprised by or that I don't always agree with. God is growing them and working in their lives to teach them what He wants for them, not just what Mom thought would happen.
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