Thursday, June 2, 2011

Revelations of Modesty part 2 - A Guy's View

All my research on modesty needed to be verified by my husband for me.  I wanted his honest opinion on a subject that we had never discussed in depth.  My husband is a very humble and honest man.  His opinion is very important to me, and I have been asking him so many questions as I research and pray.  I had seen this video on a Christian guy's point of view on modesty before.  In my research, I stumbled upon it again and showed it to my husband.  He watched it... and totally agreed with everything the video stated.  I thought, briefly, that the video wouldn't be my husband's style or catch his interest.  I figured he was humoring me.   Instead, he watched the video and said he couldn't agree more.


In all the questions that I asked my husband, he told me that many girls are "eye candy".  I asked why guys aren't desensitized.  I mean, if we can get desensitized to violence on TV and  curse words from those around us, can't men get desensitized to immodest women?  His answer surprised me.

"NO."  He told me very bluntly.  "If men could be desensitized, then lust would not be a problem.  Satan then couldn't use it."

My husband has verified all the information I have read about how they are visual creatures.  He told me about how different things catch guys attention.  I guess, in all my life as a Christian, I had never asked these questions.  Maybe I was afraid of the answers, afraid that those answers would mean changes.

My husband says guys take a directional approach to looking at women many times.  They either start their way up and work down or start down and work up.  Either way, they look.  They notice the immodest... but also the modest.  He pointed out a couple attractive women that we know that are modest... and some of it had to do with dress, and some of it had to do with behavior, mannerisms, and habits these women have developed to show modesty.

I listened to my husband talk, and realized that he was doing me a favor in being brutally honest.  He is a strong Christian, loves the Lord with all his heart.  He never comments on the dress of women around him, unless it is to tell one of our daughters that something they are wearing isn't appropriate and politely tell them to make a different selection.  He related with the things the man was saying in the video wholeheartedly. 

I showed him a list of temptation areas like certain clothing or problem areas and asked if the list was accurate.  He agreed the list was pretty close.  Things like low or tight pants, stomach showing, cleavage, low necklines, and thin tops were things that he stated were the most eye catching.  I read an interesting survey called the Modesty Survey that was full of questions and information.

It takes both men and women making responsible choices for modesty to work.  Men must use self control in many cases.  Immodesty, like sin, exists in the world.  Women must realize that men are different and are stimulated by sight.  We must understand that dressing or behaving in a way that is a stumbling block for them is just as much sin as the man thinking lustful thoughts.  According to the Bible, lust is adultery.

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  Matthew 5:28

Women may not be able to control what a man thinks, but as a Christian, I don't want to make things worse.  Even more, I want to honor Christ and my husband by what I wear.  I'll discuss this all more later as I continue my journey into modesty and blog further parts.  God has already opened my eyes and showed me quite a bit.  I know that this journey is not finished.

1 comment:

Edie said...

Such good points and what a great video. I'm so glad you are blessed with such a Godly husband who can speak so clearly and give such good direction!

Depriving our Students of the Classics

  In December 27, 2020, an article was published concerning a push to remove the classics from education. Entitled  Even Homer Gets Mobbed ,...